Casablanca Express

As a 22 year Army veteran, I become almost nauseous viewing war movies with numerous technical errors. The "Marine" assault battalion fires a 3.5" rocket launcher from a moving train without regard to the back blast effect on the Marines riding directly behind the weapon.

The army uniforms were hokey. Army officers, under the rank of general, have two insignias per lapel, a "U.S." and a branch insignia. About half the time one of our heroes has his worn correctly, the other half of the time incorrectly.

The rescuing Marines have corpsmen with them that have ludicrous looking helmet liners with huge red crosses on them. Those crosses would have made great targets for even a blind sniper.

The soldiers accompanying the train were geared up for combat wearing their helmet liners sans helmets. They also were wearing an American flag patch on their left shoulders. These flag patches should have been on their right shoulders (I know D-Day invasion forces had these flags sewn on, but I am not too sure about our soldiers in Africa) and their unit patches on their left.

Certainly wish some of the directors/producers could spring a few bucks and hire some ex-GI's as technical advisers.

Ultra lame World War II flick. Absolutely flat dialog scenes, boring action sequences, and some of the worst music ever devised by man! I'm usually a big fan of Sergio Martino's work, but this film was far too weak to stand up. The two stars, Francesco Quinn and Jason Connery, are the sons of Anthony Quinn and Sean Connery. Star-power (or son-of-star-power) is what the film relied upon too heavily. The result is a 90 minute waste of time, with some of the most startling historical errors ever committed to film. Far too boring to be funny.

CASABLANCA EXPRESS is a last-ditch Italian WW2 film, actually shot in Casablanca in part and set on a train for much of the running time. It comes to us courtesy of Sergio Martino, a man who has created films like THE CASE OF THE SCORPION'S TAIL and MOUNTAIN OF THE CANNIBAL GOD throughout a lengthy career, though it's undoubtedly one of his lesser efforts.

The story is about Winston Churchill embarking on a train journey and the attempts by the Nazis to have him assassinated en route. Thankfully, the powers that be employ some top counter-agents to fight off the threat, and the stage is set for plentiful action. What a pity, then, that the film turns out to be so cheap, shoddy and inept, fumbling what should be suspenseful action sequences and generally proving to be less than enthralling.

CASABLANCA EXPRESS boasts not one but two offspring of famous movie stars; Jason Connery, son of Sean, is the wooden lead, while Francesco Quinn, son of Anthony, supports him. A trio of famous names - Jean Sorel, Donald Pleasence, and Glenn Ford - feature heavily on the cast list and advertising, but are largely limited to those 'sitting around talking' type roles that are included for tokenism. There's a nice little role for STAGE FRIGHT's David Brandon, though. This film also features the worst Chuchill lookalike after ever.

If CASABLANCA EXPRESS had featured halfway decent action and suspense scenes it might have been good, but it all feels quite inept. There isn't a great deal of realism here, a lot of the acting is over the top, and the shoot-outs and explosions do look very staged.

It is difficult to find enough bad things to say about this movie. It is even more difficult to imagine why Glenn Ford and Donald Pleasance would agree to be in this movie. As far as realism and historical accuracy: Non-existent. The only way a person could find this movie realistic is if they just moved here from another planet.

Here are just a few technical examples of the poor quality of this film:

The U.S. Army personnel are wearing uniforms that are currently in use (issued in the early 1980s). The soldiers use helmet liners instead of complete helmets (liner and "iron pot"). The U.S. flags that are shown have 50 stars (instead of the 48-star flag which was in use from 1912 until 1960).

I rated it two stars because unfortunately, I have seen worse movies.

The plot is a WWII attempt by Axis powers to kidnap Winston Churchill.

What we have is an epic style film here, one of those larger than life Indiana Jones type flicks that isn't meant to be taken seriously, and goes instead for the thrills and bangs.

And it pretty well does that. We have mega stars Pleasance and Ford doing the older officer bits, and we have young action heroes doing quite well in the "not to be taken seriously" action. Of course it is off the wall action, but there really isn't any attempt by the director to disguise this. This is James Bond or Indiana Jones style escapism.

The characters are not overly deep, but more intended to convey comedy. Again, there is no attempt to disguise this.

We have some surprises, especially in the identity of the spy. Nothing big, just enough to make it entertaining.

Lots of needless shooting and silly action scenes. If you like Bond flicks, you'll like this, though. Same thing.