Beach Balls

For the first few moments, as the characters were introduced, "Beach Balls" looked like it was going to be a cut above the typical '80s boob comedy. The characters seemed a little more relatable and human, and the movie had a likeable protagonist. There was also a more interesting dynamic than the usual nerd-vs-jock thing, in that there was a lifeguard after a girl whose main problem is not that he's a jerk, but that he is uptight and takes his job really seriously.

But then, disaster struck. The movie went nowhere and did nothing with any of these characters or situations. It features two musical numbers, as awful as you know to expect, and a boring party sequence at the end, and not much else. It becomes dreadfully boring, and pointless. I couldn't wait for it to end.

Oh, and it has barely any nudity, surprisingly. I only noticed one, dimly lit topless scene.

My review was written in October 1988 after watching the film on Media Home Entertainment video cassette.

"Beach Balls", previously titled "Summertime Fun", is a routine teen comedy briefly released last May, and currently in home video distribution.

Familiar format deals with young unrequited romances, intertwined as follows: hero Charlie (Phillip Paley) has the hots for beautiful beach girl Wendy (Heidi Helmer), while Charlie's older sister Kathleen (Leslie Danon) dreams only about lifeguard Doug (Tod Bryant), who just happens to be Wendy's protective brother.

Proper pairings take nearly the whole film to accomplish, while Douglas R. Starr sings some okay rock numbers and an unfunny Erich von Zipper gang of hooligans led by Charles Gilleran make trouble. Genre hasn't progressed much in over two decades with its stereotype depictions of parents.

Director Joe Ritter doesn't get many laughs from these teen antic and the sexual sequence of whether beautiful but timid Danon will get it on with Bryant is dragged out in very corny fashion. WIndup is in the very dated "my life was saved by rock 'n' roll" vein.

Some boobs and other fun, incorporated.

Lame-o kid wants to be a rock star, but he's just so.... well..... LAME. He'll still hope for a contract with a music mogul, but that's mostly wishful thinking. All this blarney is the blinking in between the good parts where we see BOOB!

Good title, though.

"Charlie Harrison" (Phillip Paley) is a nice young man who wants to be a guitarist in a rock group but recently got into trouble for driving a car that he didn't know was stolen. As a result, his mother no longer has any faith or confidence in him and his older sister "Kathleen" (Leslie Danon) feeds into that by belittling him at every opportunity. Additionally, he has a crush on a pretty girl named "Wendy" (Heidi Helmer) but can't seem to make any headway with her because she has a brother named "Doug" (Tod Bryant) who refuses to allow any guys to get close to her. To make matters even worse, Wendy is intensely attracted to a young musician named "Keith" (Douglas R, Starr) who plays in a rock band and because of that she isn't romantically inclined for Charlie at all. Yet, in spite of all of that, he isn't one to give up and with help from his good friend "Scully" (Steven Tash) comes up with a grand scheme to turn things around. Now rather than reveal any more I will just say that this turned out to be a fairly typical "beach film" produced in the 80's which tended to be somewhat low on comedy but still entertaining to a certain degree. Likewise, the fact that this was a Roger Cormen production greatly explains the low-budget nature of the film as well. Be that as it may, while this wasn't a particularly good film by any means it wasn't that bad and for that reason, I have rated it as only slightly below average.

This used to be a staple on Cinemax's late night lineup. It was somehow entertaining enough to keep me watching every time I saw it on the TV. It didn't fare quite so well when USA showed a butchered version on "Up All Night." So in a nutshell, it is a mindless film about metalheads partying at the beach, but got the job done somehow. The cast is not stellar, but they were pleasant and fitting for this low budget film. I recommend it if you're in the mood for something VERY light and though it seems dated in 1999, it just might take you back.