2020 Texas Gladiators

I found Texas Gladiators (the english version) to be an excellent source of entertainment, but only because it was a piece of purile rubbish. The fact it was made in 1982 only heightens my abhoration of the costumes, which if the words "typical 80's bad guy" do not sum up I don't know what does.

From big things like the absence of a script and/or plot to the little things like labeling a 44-gallon drum with the word "DINAMITE", this film (if we can call it such) made me glad one of my friends paid the rental fee.

Luckily we rented this video in the frame of mind of looking for the worst movie we could find, and I believe we attained that goal in renting Texas Gladiators.

My review was written in November 1985 after watching the film on Media Home Entertainment video cassette.

"2020 Texas Gladiators" is an incomprehensible action pic, made during the 1982-83 boom in Italian takeoffs on "Mad Max" and similar films. New Line Cinema mulled a theatrical release last year (under new title "Sudden Death") for this item from Helen Sarlui's Continental Motion Pictures banner, but instead it is going direct to home video by MHE release.

Absent any Texas location establishing footage, this made-in-Rome property opens with a telltale scene of post-nuclear war marauders attacking a priest and nuns. A group of "rangers" (our heroes) defeat the baddies, but one ranger Catch Dog (Daniel Stephen) tries to rape heroine Maida (Sabrina Siani) and is banished from their group by nominal leader Nisus (Al Cliver).

Without any exposition, next sequence is apparently several years later, with Nisus working at a petroleum refinery and Maida taking care of a cute little girl (revealed to be her daughter several reels later). Catch Dog shows up leading a bunch of marauders on 250-cc. Motorcycles, riot police arrive in a battletruck and are protected by bullet-repelling thermal shields, and a Nazi-styled leader named Black One (Donal O'Brien) tries to set up a new order.

Though action sequences are directed adequately, film totally lacks connective tissue and makes no sense whatsoever. Only laughs are provided by guys dressed up like cowboys, wielding whips presumably left over from the 1960s pasta oaters craze, and very fake Indians riding to the rescue. In a shaggy dog joke, Catch Dog carries around a weird-looking, multi-barreled prop gun, which he finally tries to shoot in the final reel -it doesn't work, so he tosses it away in disgust unfired.

Multinational cast is okay, with ubiquitous leading lady Sabrina Siani styled to resemble Daryl Hannah this time out.

I find it very interesting that the at times Mega-Sleaze merchant like Aristide Massaccesi can knuckle down and make a pretty good action PA movie delivering tense atmosphere, well choreographed shoot-outs and some real forward-thinking between character relationships but all the while also keeping the sickening depravity (mostly) off the screen. For these reasons, if say you love Jesus Franco's latter movies that just seem to degenerate into pawn then you probably won't like 2020 Texas Gladiators that much. One of the interesting things about the movie is when one central character gets killed off and then the focus changes to another character then suddenly the situations tend to take on progressive changes in perspective, if that made any sense. The budget of the movie is obviously low, but the resourceful effects like the animated electricity on the futuristic riot-shields brandished by the enemy soldiers sometimes let you forget the shield frames are cardboard on close inspection. Because there are not many faces attached to the actors here at IMDb I forget the character name of the enemy boss, he was kind of a neo-Nazi type, not the best actor but he looks creepy and was funny at times. In conclusion, I liked this a lot more than any Mad Max film, it is definitely way better than Fury Road, so it is well worth seeking out.

In a world where government has deteriorated...laws are unbinding...and cruel savages rule the wastelands, comes a new heroic breed... The "Rangers," a team comprising of disciplined, dedicated, and laconic mercenaries are on a mission...to exterminate the evils that roam in the post-nuclear world. Led by "Nisus" (Al Cliver), the roster includes "Halakron," (Peter Hooten), "Catch Dog," (Daniel Stephen), and "Red Wolfe" (Al Yamanouchi). When the going gets tough...these guys slice it up!

The future is forsaken...all hope is lost and innocent lives are in despair. The asperity of the aftermath of World War III (or the *Atomic War*) has taken its toll on the human population... However, the remnants of the surviving human race must learn to rebuild their civilization and live in harmony...but too many obstacles and detours stand in their way...

However, an onerous dictatorship led by the Black One (Donald O'Brien) has seized control of everything: nuclear weapons, various resources, and especially human lives to utilize as slave labor. It is now up to the Rangers to help assist the wonderfully sexy Maida (Sabrina Siani) to discomfit the Black One's plans for rebuilding a tyrannical society... A rebellion must be instigated in order to revolt the New World Order or whatever...

2020 TEXAS GLADIATORS (the original title is ANNO 2020 - I GLADIATORI DEL FUTURO) is one of those movies that never ceases to amuse me! The melodramatic moments are sometimes sickening yet I enjoyed the perfunctory thrills and dramatic scenes which both serve to keep genre fans satiated. Directed by none other than the late, notorious Joe D'Amato (whose real name happens to be Aristide Massaccesi, but in this production, he also goes by the pseudonym Kevin Mancuso), 2020 TEXAS GLADIATORS is highly derivative. Virtually ideas and motifs from every other film in this particular sci-fi genre are stolen, cut-and-pasted into this drivel. Unfortunately, 2020 TEXAS GLADIATORS lacks the poignancy, the strength, intelligence, and imagination of a well-established motion picture.

With those statements said, I had a hell of a fun time watching this film. The nonstop action keeps this film moving at a steady, energetic pattern. The enlightening, dead heat violence is rampant and overwhelmingly overweening. Worthwhile highlights to watch include the Russian Roulette scene, the evil laugh courtesy of O'Brien himself, the village under siege, the prison break, the motorcycle chases, and of course, the beautiful foxy ladies. Enjoy rooting for the heroes as they raise hell and wreck havoc by the film's climax with a little assistance from a few Native Americans. Do not forget to pay attention to Donald O'Brien's performance of a lifetime as a neo-Nazi sadist with a penchant for torture and wealth. This character, played by O'Brien is perhaps one of the funniest fictional villains ever devised. He gets away too furtively with a way over-the-top role ever since his portrayal as a mind-bending, homicidal doctor in DOCTOR BUTCHER, M.D. (1979).

A special panegyric acclamation goes to Sabrina Siani. She is certainly one lascivious actress who knows how to make your pulse beat faster! Siani is definitely a magnificent Italian beauty whose elegance, personality, and the luscious facade help make viewing this movie a bit more bearable. Her presence alone makes this film worth seeing...

Just a tidbit, the title is once again a misnomer! Here's a pondering, perplexing, and ambiguous question: What does this film have to do with "Texas Gladiators?"

In spite of this film's ridiculousness, you will be mesmerized at the high voltage intensity of this spectacle. The cast is lively and prepossessing, plus this film moves at an unwontedly breathless pace. You can argue that this film is bereft of creativity, coherence, flair, and class, but what's the point of grousing about the film's foibles? This film is NOT great by any means, but it is delightfully entertaining on many levels (in a purely superficial matter, of course).

If you like movies with an absence of both logic and novelty, along with a melange of faceless antagonists and heroes who are poor decision makers, then this hideously dubbed film will appeal to you. Plus, revel in some really miserable special effects, inept acting, and unintentional laughs... Pop the champagne and enjoy!

RATING: ** out of ****.

Joe D'Amato, mostly known for his sleazy and downright nauseating horror flicks like "Buried Alive", "Anthropophagus" and "Emanuelle and the Last Cannibals", joins his contemporary Italian colleagues in making over- the-top cheesy and ridiculous post-nuclear Science Fiction movies! The trend started elsewhere, mostly with the Australian "Mad Max" and John Carpenter's "Escape from New York", but the Italians exploited the success of these films shamelessly and endlessly! Lucio Fulci had "The New Gladiators", Sergio Martino had "After the Fall of New York", Ruggero Deodato had "Atlantis Interceptors", Enzo G. Castellari had "The Bronx Warriors" and our good pal Joe D'Amato has both "Endgame" and this "2020 – The Texas Gladiators". It's a deliciously cheesy hodgepodge of semi-processed ideas and blatantly stolen sequences from other movies, and if you're a fan of this sort of trash, you're guaranteed to love it in spite of all the awfulness.

The movie starts, as to be expected, as a bunch of chaos! Texas is entirely destroyed by nuclear warfare and hoodlum gangs randomly run amok in the streets. Luckily there's a quintet of courageous beefcake warriors parading around to protect the weaklings. During a fight in a monastery (there's a nun who cuts her own throat … TWICE!), one of them is banished for trying to rape a girl and another one leaves voluntary to marry and live in a community that tries to rebuild civilization. The evil Nazi-inspired Black One violently invades this community, however, and makes a widow out of the warrior's wife. The tree remaining buddies pick up the girl in a sleazy bar and decide to help her in defeating Black One and his evil lieutenant, who's also an old acquaintance of them. Mind you, this is just a very brief and shortened plot description. There's a whole lot more going on in "2020 – Texas Gladiators". Too much to mention, actually, as there are authentic traditional Indians, enslaved mine workers, Russian roulette sequences that are stolen straight from "The Deer Hunter", Nazis with amours of steel and one tremendously cool Asian fighting expert!

Unless, of course, you have no idea what the early 80's Italian rip- off/exploitation business is all about, you simply cannot dislike "2020 – Texas Gladiators". Whilst slightly less outrageous and entertaining as "Endgame", this is another over-the-top flamboyant smörgåsbord of sleaze and violence. Donald O'Brien is fantastically stereotypical, in a totally deliberate fashion, and the battle sequences are hysterical. Imagine: hi-tech weapons can't perpetrate through the armor of the Nazi soldiers, but old-fashioned Indians with their primitive arrows and spears wipe them out in a matter of seconds! D'Amato's film is full of similar nonsense like this, and more. A real treat for demented exploitation dorks, like myself.