Les secrets de l'invisible

This is not a film for the typical horror fan; this movie appeals to those who enjoy a little mental disturbance with their terror. Or even a laugh or two. I can't believe they didn't know that it was funny to watch Stephn Furst acting like a mentally challenged mutant monster, ala "The Goonies," it HAD to be intentional, and as such I applaud the filmmakers!

The story is about something horrible in the basement and Barbara Bach finds out what it is, after the usual set-up story points. There's little more to it than that. The reason to seek this film out is if you are a lover of mutants and like a little madness in your scary movies.

Otherwise, stick to something more safe and traditional.

Since "The Unseen" is your basic B movie, the only reason to see it is that it stars Barbara Bach (Ringo Starr's wife), Stephen Furst (Flounder in "Animal House") and Sydney Lassick (Cheswith in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" and also the principal in "Carrie"). No, seriously. That's the only reason to check it out: The Beatles, John Belushi and Stephen King are linked by a story of three women staying in a house inhabited by a carnivorous inbred! If only the founders of Solvang had predicted this! Sorry if I haven't done the greatest job describing the movie. It's just that a cast like this easily eclipses the movie, in my view. Granted, there are a few of the requirements for horror flicks, namely the bathtub scene. Otherwise, nothing significant here.

PS: Barbara Bach had previously starred in a similar movie with a similarly jaw-dropping cast. That movie was the Italian horror flick "L'isola delli uomini pesce" (called "Screamers" in the US), in which she co-starred with Mel Ferrer, aka Audrey Hepburn's ex. Yes, it's true. Ringo Starr's soon-to-be wife and Audrey Hepburn's ex co-starred in a movie about half-human, half-fish creatures.

The Unseen is done in a style more like old Hollywood mysteries than a horror show. The film is somewhat slow but lots of bizarre imagery keeps it the film alive and watchable. The basic idea of young girls stalked by something in the basement is old, but good acting and production make the movie worth watching. The movie is notable for its emotional impact and certainly not for any explicit action or special effects. I rated it an 8 out of 10.

I had seen The Unseen on TV years ago, but I didn't remember enjoying it that much. Something about it felt bland. Upon rewatching it a few nights ago, I was surprised by how well made and entertaining it was.

Three female reporters (including Barbara Bach) head up to Slovang, California to cover a big festival. There's a mix up with their hotel room and they find themselves without a place to stay. An odd man (Sydney Lassick) offers them a room at his home and they accept. Little do they know that this will be a huge mistake that will put all their lives at risk.

The Unseen won't get any major points for creative gore effects or inventive murders. In fact, that might be why I didn't care for it much when I saw it, having been raised on Friday the 13th movies. The death scenes are unremarkable and a little boring, but the story surrounding them is far better than most of the junk they'd throw into slasher films around this time. The characters actually have arcs and things to do and don't just sit around waiting to be killed off.

Barbara Bach is beautiful and handles herself fine during the finale when she's drenched in rain, mud, and blood, but she's a little comatose throughout the rest of the film. She's likable enough, but one does wonder what a more interesting actress would have done with the role. Lassick is at his creepy best and Lelia Goldoni as his put upon wife might just steal the show in a role that has precious few lines, but a lot of presence. She's playing for maximum Greek tragedy and she's wonderful. Stephen Furst of Animal House fame shows up in a totally unrecognizable role and brings his character a ton of unexpected pathos even under pounds of prosthetics. It's a marvel of a performance.

The Unseen could have used a little more thought and detail put into the murder set pieces to make them scarier and a little more creative, but the rest of the package is so interesting that it's not that big of a deal.

The first scenes of this film feel more like an episode of Dallas, or a Columbo style prelude, than they do a horror film. The comparisons get worse... Murder She wrote, The A-Team... hell no, it's Charlie's Angels. And then the penny drops, three young women, with a mystery a-foot, it's really like Scooby Doo, without a male lead or any sort of canine activity. In fact, from the moment you meet the resident bad guy (Sydney Lassik), you can just imagine him saying "If it wasn't for you pesky kids!!", as someone pulls his mask off!

That said, this is not a totally bad film at all. The weakest character, unfortunately, is the one we see most of, Barbara Bach. Rarely does she provide any sort of emotional performance, and there is no need for her to be sexy in this film either. Well, I suppose she has quite big eyes, which work out well for the ending! All other roles are played well, and are for the most part believable. Equally believable is the scary situation, three girls in a remote hotel, and the mysterious menace that we know is there from early on.

Suspense builds up steadily towards the finale, but once all the ground is covered, and the secrets revealed, the film turns into more action than horror, more slasher-style than creepy. It loses both pace and purpose and leaves us with no more bitter taste than a family squabble. That is, someone else's family! But this was supposed to be horror! Several minutes of senseless screaming, towards the end also don't help. What I like to call "Goonies syndrome", noise that in fact irritates more than affects the atmosphere, or benefits the film.

OK, so it may make Saturday afternoon, regular TV-style horror these days... that is if you cut out the tasteful glimpse of nakedness. But outside of that, no there's not too much there. It's horrible, not horror. It's unpleasant not unbearable. It is entertaining, and quite well put together, so there's a "5" rating from me!