Le convoi des casseurs

Cursed be you, Burt Reynolds.

Because of "Smokey and the Bandit", the movie-going public has been forced to slog through millions of pale imitations of the same product, all to make a buck.

Which brings us to "Smokey Bites the Dust"; which, I think, DID earn at least a buck.

Meaning it broke even with its budget.

From the beginning scene where we see the Smokey of the title drinking from a baby bottle with booze in it while waiting for speeders in Backwater, USA, I knew I was in for a slow downhill ride to nowhere. I was right.

If one county, let alone backwoods town actually had this many car crashes in the course of one day, they could very well become the scrap metal center of the known world. As it turns out, this entire movie IS the scrap (minus the "s") center of the known world all by itself.

Gale Ann Hurd produced this when she was young and foolish. We all gotta start somewhere, I suppose.

One star. Plus half a star for the dumb jock football player.

Producer Roger Corman had decided to recycle car chase footage from previous films he was involved in and edited them together in this romp from the latter days of New World Pictures. Jimmy McNichol and Janet Julian are likable enough as the cute young couple on the run from bumbling, but no-nonsense sheriff (Walter Barnes) and a slew of other characters. Even Dick Miller shows up as the angry owner of a car that the two steal right in front of him and spends the rest of his screen time chasing after them in a helicopter. The rest of the plot is rather flimsy, including three so-called Sheiks who try to trick a local moonshiner and various cars speeding, chasing, and crashing.

My childhood days of THE DUKES OF HAZZARD are long gone, which means it's time to dig up what was once grand: car chase movies. This one is special because it's another rip-off of SMOKEY & THE BANDIT, and also another with the name "Smokey" in the title (how many were there???). Every so often, a movie would thrill us living around 1980 over its display of automotive carnage, but haven't we seen enough? It's no better than GRAND THEFT AUTO, another Roger Corman production about high-speed pursuits. Not sounding politically correct in these modern times, kids would've probably liked this cartoonish flick that's been easy to please, as it shows off some over-the-top goofiness and kooky characters, including a "sheik" (!!!). The car crashes are fun to watch for 8-year olds, though. And, yes, no movie is complete without Dick Miller as comedy relief. Likewise, if you've seen one movie, you've seen it all. Diehard fans won't go wrong, but the movie offers absolutely nothing that's new and improved.

This movies' thin excuse for a story: shameless car thief / speed demon / obnoxious punk Roscoe Wilton (Jimmy McNichol, "Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker") kidnaps homecoming queen Peggy Sue Turner (Janet Julian, "Humongous") and spends the majority of the movie outwitting and out-driving her flustered sheriff father (Walter Barnes, "The Big Gundown"). Naturally, many others get involved in the chase, too.

The price paid for the success of "Smokey and the Bandit" was indeed a steep one, as we once again get a cartoon with frenetic over-acting and mostly lame comedy. (That said, there is an occasional inspired gag.) The action is definitely preferable to the comedy, although, even so, a lot of the highlights are actually *lifted* from earlier Roger Corman productions "Eat My Dust!", "Grand Theft Auto", "Thunder and Lightning", and "Moving Violation".

The movie is passable overall; if you're not too judgmental and just want to put your brain in neutral for an hour and a half, you may be adequately entertained. Certainly this is a lively affair, with a breakneck pace and a cheerful "everything but the kitchen sink" approach; this leads to an admittedly amusing finale with a donnybrook involving multiple parties.

Other familiar faces you'll see include the always welcome Dick Miller ("Gremlins"), Kedric Wolfe and Charles Howerton from the directors' previous monster movie "Up from the Depths", William Forsythe ("The Devils' Rejects"), in one of his earliest feature film appearances, Kari Lizer ("Private School"), Mel Welles ("The Little Shop of Horrors"), Michael Greene ("To Live and Die in L. A."), Beach Dickerson ("Creature from the Haunted Sea"), Rance Howard ("Chinatown"), Nancy Parsons ("Motel Hell"), Angelo Rossitto ("Freaks"), and Tony Cox ("Bad Santa"). Director Charles B. Griffith appears on screen as the "mellow rabbi".

This may play like a "greatest hits" package of New World vehicular mayhem, but doubtless that some viewers will have few complaints. At least it's all relatively harmless.

Gale Anne Hurd was the co-producer.

Five out of 10.

People who rated this down do not know the appeal of loony b-movies. "Smokey Bites The Dust" is for those who appreciate watching a wild escapade while drinking brews and relaxing after an intense week. Plenty of car chases, but what I dig the most are all the rules this movie breaks. You even have a young boy and girl smoking cigarettes by conning people, even police. I don't care what any do-gooder millennial says, it's pretty damn funny! Also, the perfectly laid-back 70's aura drew me in, especially since I'm a 70's junkie (I grew up in that decade). Oh, and because of the fact Jimmy McNichol (Kristy's brother) has the starring role as a car thief and "abductor". Let's just say it's almost as rad as "The Van" and more rad than "Used Cars", both of which are similar in theme. Again, this cult classic is for people who enjoy late-night carefree fun, not for people addicted to Judge Judy reruns.