Mama Dracula

Embarassing vampire satire with Fletcher sucking the life out of her career.

When I initially heard about Mama Dracula and read the premise I immediately thought of the Carry On films. I expected a camp Carry On Screaming knock off set around Countess Elizabeth Bathory. Truth be told that's what it tries to be but sadly lacks the talented cast, the charm and the humour that was essential to the Carry On movies success.

Featuring a terrible generic story line, viciously annoying characters, jokes that fall flat and some dire dialogue this is everything I'd hoped it wouldn't be.

I get the impression the vampire twins were supposed to be the true stars who steal each scene but truth is the movie dropped in my opinion every time they appeared as they offered little beyond face palms & cringe inducing moments.

If you seek horror, keep looking. If you seek comedy, you won't find any here. If you seek something that quite frankly isn't far off deserving a place in IMDb's bottom list, you've found what you're looking for.

What a bomb! Another example of how trying too hard to be camp just doesn't work. If you can imagine a bunch of stoners trying to make "The Three Stooges meet Countess Dracula" and loading it with bare-breasted women you may get an idea of what this is like. Unfortunately the many pairs of boobs make it unfit for 5-10 year old boys who would otherwise be the best audience for this. One pair of boobs just right for the little boys would be the idiot twin sons of the Countess who do a rather intriguing mirroring-each-other pantomime, getting out of bed and starting their morning ablutions. But mostly they're just two stooges in black capes and bad "Transylwanian" accents.

Louise Fletcher manages to glide over this morass, ever elegant and charismatic. Watching her shine so magnificently over the ordure that is the rest of it is rather amazing to see, and the fashion show in the last 15 minutes has some fun costumes. Maria Schneider just looks like she's waiting to get paid. One hopes that she and Ms. Fletcher were getting plenty. Given the production values, either their pay ate up the entire budget, or they were blackmailed into this disaster.

This may rival "Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter" for worst vampflick ever, but at least "JC" was clearly an amateur production. There is no excuse for this abysmal waste of time.

And no, it is not even Ed-Wood-so-bad-it's-good. Ed Wood, bless his soul, took his work seriously enough to give it a quirky charm. Even "Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter" was compellingly weird in its gawd-awfulness. I like quirky bad movies, but this was just pointlessly vacuous.

Poor, poor Louise... I'm sure she's done her best to forget this trainwreck, and so shall I!

I was shocked to realize that the lead was Louise Fletcher. She must have been strapped for cash. Anyways: It was OK watching on a local weekend, hosted horror flick show. Primarily because of the outrageous filler between scenes. Definitely a movie you can chat online while it's playing. I always wonder what was going on on the movie shoots to films like this. I hope Lousise was having fun. It was 1980 and the free love, hippie, etc stuff was still happening. Very silly movie not to be gone into expecting a Hammer film. And whatever happened to those twins? This was their film debut. There is a lot of nudity but that was just par for the course in B or C films of the 70's & 80's. Nothing graphic. Just a lot of kidding around. Also, nothing scary or gross. Just lots of European slap stick. I wouldn't rent this video if I had to pay for it but like I said, check it out on free TV where you can change the channel if there is entertaining add on's like on a hosted horror show.

Mama Dracula (1980)

BOMB (out of 4)

Oscar winner Louise Fletcher (One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest) and Oscar nominee Maria Schneider (Last Tango in Paris) star in this Belgian horror/comedy that has to be one of the worst films ever made. In a mixture of the Dracula and Elizabeth Bathory stories, Fletcher plays a female Dracula who needs to take a bath in the blood of virgins in order to live. Her two gay sons own a clothing store that keeps them supplied but it's getting harder and harder to find virgins in today's times. Man, oh man what a horrible film this one turned out to be. This was a minor holy grail to me as I've been wanting to see it for ages just to see if it was really as bad as the reputation that goes with it. It's every bit as bad and I'd say it's even worse than any of the reviews I've read for it. I'm really not sure what the hell they were going for or how they got Fletcher to star in this but the movie is a complete misfire from the opening scenes to the very last. There's plenty of slapstick and silly situations but I didn't laugh a single time nor did I ever crack a smile. The story makes very little sense and it appears that the screenwriter was a drunk because the movie jumps all over the place so much that you can't help but wonder what they're trying to do. As for Fletcher, believe it or not she comes off fairly well and never embarrasses herself too much. She's seems to be playing everything straight as if the producer's didn't tell her this was a spoof. Maria Schneider, like the rest of the cast, comes off horrible. The "wirgins" gag from Blood for Dracula is ripped off here but that doesn't even get a laugh here. There's plenty of naked women but not even that can save this turkey.