Voltan le barbare

Similar to the reputation Showgirls has received in the "its so bad its good" category, upon repeated viewing of this film you can only just marvel on how crap this film is. The acting is diabolical, the story is terrible and the special effects were done by the local primary school.

It is because it suffers from almost every cinematic angel it becomes entertaining to watch.

Kids will love it and adults will laugh at the semi-serious attempt in making a fantasy film with elves, dwarfs, giants (or rather the very large man from the carry on films) and a witch whose special powers include fire balls that look remarkably like ping pong balls painted in luminous colours.

I am aware that this film has been badly received by most reviewers, but I cannot get myself to agree. It may be corny, cheesy, gimmicky, but for me, all the gimmicks worked. I loved the matte paintings, which most sfx connoisseurs scoff at. I loved the stiff acting, and melodramatic cornball dialogue, and the shallow Tolkienesque ambiance. I adored Jack Palance's ham acting as the villain. I loved the Elf, and the Dwarf, and the Giant, and the Witch. I loved the music (and did not notice anything particularly "70s" about it, but perhaps that was because I grew up in that era). What I loved most about it was an aspect that another commentator complained about: its incompleteness. That other commentator (from IMDb) complained that he felt like he was watching part 2 of a three-act play. Well, that's a good thing, isn't it? What is the point of immersing oneself in a fantasy world if it is going to be so small it can contain itself in a single film. The implication that I was watching a small part of a much greater story was what gave this film its charm. The cryptic references to things beyond its borders made the world created seem far vaster than it was, and helped the matte paintings seem to come to life.

-- NystulC

Voltan is a "bad man™" who has sold his soul to the dark forces in exchange for power. With Voltan having killed his father, the only one that may be able to stop him is his own brother – Hawk (aka "The Slayer"). The Dark Lord knows this and conspires to draw Hawk into a final battle and thus defeat him. To achieve this Voltan kidnaps a nun and demands a ransom – bringing Hawk out to her aid. On his way to his battle with Voltan, Hawk meets with a small, varied group of warriors to help him in his quest.

This film takes us back to a dark time, a time of evil and madness; a time where great changes were occurring as the 1970's turned into the 1980's. It is in this time of great evil that Hawk the Slayer was thrust upon cinema audiences who endured great suffering as a result. Or maybe they didn't – maybe audiences then were a lot less fussy and ate this up but somehow I doubt it. The plot is a simple quest with the usual stuff with a group of men being formed to fight the forces of evil. So far so dull and even those who love this sort of stuff will struggle to care about the very basic plot. Attempts to create relationships and character tensions fall flat at every turn and what should have driven the bigger story just doesn't work.

Of course it doesn't help that the delivery is so very tacky. The synthesised music doesn't help as disco isn't really the music one imagines hearing when watching a swords & sorcery film; it is funny rather than atmospheric. The costumes are OK but the sets are basic and the crew are always on hand with lots of dry ice to help make it look like the forest sets have been recently hosting a rock concert. The cats are rubbish and generally wooden, although my pick of the crap goes to Palance's cry of remorse at the death of his son – it is the least emotional cry I think I've ever heard. Of course John Terry is just as bad, with his wooden delivery and regular slow motion horse riding. Bresslaw, Charleson, O'Farrell are all just as poor and it is hard at times to see the actors for the trees. Marcel directs without an idea of what he is trying to achieve – at times he is making a serious epic, others a disco adventure and then others a TV serial. The limits of the budget are obvious but not even that excuses the use of party silly string as a weapon and various other poor effect choices.

Overall then this is best summed up by the old cliché "so bad it is good" although that actually isn't really true in this case for the majority of viewers. The plot is obvious and lacking much in the way of effort or imagination. The acting is wooden and the effects are cheap while director Marcel shows us why the majority of his career since has been in UK television rather than cinema.

Back when this was released, when I was 9 years old and into Star Wars and Clash of the Titans and Beastmaster, a movie like this would have been right up my alley. I just saw it a couple days ago, as I am now proud owner of it on video, and let me say even now I was pretty impressed. Hawk was a very cool hero and his cohorts were all equally as unique, especially Crow the bowsman. Jack Palance puts in an over-the-top performance as Voltan (great name) the villain. I was also proud that I recognized Patricia Quinn (Magenta from Rocky Horror!) as the witch and Patrick Magee (from Clockwork Orange) as a fanatical priest who has a great little scene in the middle. The highlights: the cool rapid fire bow effects, the uzi crossbow (needs to be seen to believed), everything with Crow, the glowing elfstone sword, the hilarious disco music that swelled up whenever Hawk rides through the forest (its like Vangelis meets KC and the Sunshine Band, not kidding) and the interaction of Hawk and his friends. The lowlights: the bad acting, the crappy editing, the obvious painted matte of the abbott's castle, the slow sword fights, and the whiny nun who is way too trusting of Voltan and not of Hawk. Duh! He's saving you! Idiot.

I should say i would have overlooked all the bad points if I were a kid, anyone 7-12 would dig this flick. Overall, if you have a chance to see this, and its hard to find I understand, enjoy it for what it is and nothing more. You'll definitely get some laughs out of it at least. 8 out of 10.

Mediaval romp about two brothers locked in deadly combat till the end of time . This is an atmospheric sliced chunk of swords , fights , sandals and witchery . It is set in a strange land of swirling fog , somewhere in the mists of time , there a misfit crew of rebels rides through orange-skied outdoors . There a good warrior , Hawk the Slayer (John Terry) , struggles against his malevolant brother (Jack Palance) , to possess a magic sword with incredible powers . After seeing both , his dad (Ferdy Mayne) and sweetheart (Catriona McColl) die at the hands of his ruthless sibling Voltan, then Hawk the Slayer sets out in pursuit him and the chance to live up to his title . As Hawk leads the battle against Voltan to free the land from the forces of evil and avenge his loved ones . The group is formed by an elf , a giant , a dwarf , an one-armed man with a machine-crossbow (Bernard Brasslaw) and a witch (Patricia Quinn) , who can turn an useful trick or to , all of them attempt to bring peace and order. These peculiar weird crew of reservists rides at the shoulder of the heroic warrior Hawk the Slayer . This valiant hero wielding a "mind-sword" has great opponents , the first : the big Brother , Jack Palance, along with his bunch of minions and guards under his stiff command. The object of the motley team , kill each other . As an Abbess (Annette Crosbie) is kidnapped and the brave outfit has to free her .

This is a comic-book fantasy with thrills , fierce fights , noisy action and necromancy .There is a vein of satire to all this and and references to legions of darkness . It is full of cardboard castles , painted backdrops , matte-painting , sorcery , and gauze-infested woods . It is all so incredibly tacky that it almost works . Here Palance makes a great villain , he steals the show , though giving overacting . A varied cast , it stars John Terry as Hawk the Slayer , tooling himself up with the magic sword and he sets out for vendetta , recruiting a motley band of warriors formed by an Elf interpreted by Ray Charleson , a dwarf played by Peter Farrell , a giant acted by Bernard Bresslaw , along with an Abbess perfomed by Annette Crosbie , and a nun performed by Cheryl Campbell , the wonder of it is that this cast can deliver their lines without cracking up , though packing unbelievably some anticlimatic , inappropriate and ridiculous scenes . And a notorious support cast formed by prestigious secondaries making brief appearances as Harry Andrews , Derrick O'Connor , Warren Clarke , Patrick McGee , Peter Benson , Roy Kinnear, Barry Stokes , Ferdy Mayne , Shane Briant and Graham Stark.

It delivers an unusual and inadequate musical score by synthesizer composed by Harry Robertson who also wrote and produced. Being well photographed in wonderful outdoors by Paul Beeson , Disney usual . Being shot on location in Buckinghamshire , Black Park , Mansfield , England and Pinewood Studios .The motion picture was original but regularly directed by Terry Marcel , a craftsman who has made some decent films such as : ¨Prisoner of the Lost Universe¨ , ¨Jane and the Lost City¨ , ¨The Last Seduction II¨ and several TV episodes of series as ¨Heartbeat¨ , ¨Trainer¨ ,¨Dark Night¨ , ¨Robin Hood¨ , among others .Rating 5.5/10 . Passable and acceptable in spite of some very silly scenes .