El carnaval de las bestias

Paul Naschy plays a cold, heartless man who thinks nothing of stabbing his close ties in the back, however sordid they may be. But when he wakes up in a countryside estate, rippled with bullets, being nursed back to health by a very unusual family, he begins to open up his heart and shed his evil ways. But can he escape the wrong doings of his past and his destiny? Be prepared for some crazy twists and turns in this original, entertaining thriller.

Naschy wrote, directed and starred in this very strange film. Departing from his regular Gothic tales, this movie mixes double-crossing, revenge, Oriental mobs, killer pigs and voodoo to create a very unusual but tasty tale. Some very offbeat characters, a slight touch of comedy, some racial political incorrectness and several splashes of gore add just the right flavor. Bon Appetite!

"Human Beasts" is an odd mix of crime drama, action film, and horror - in that order. Naschy plays a criminal hired by Japanese gangsters to steal some diamonds. One of the gangsters is his girlfriend who is in loe with him, but the movie doesn't do much with this. When he steals the diamonds he cold-bloodedly murders everyone involved in transporting them, which shocks his employers, making one wonder what they expected when they hired a hitman to carry out the job. Naschy double crosses them and escapes into the Spanish highlands, but is injured in the fracas, and awakes in a mansion where a rich man and his beautiful daughters care for him.

We see Naschy bandaged up lying in bed with a doting woman standing beside him, there is a cut to something else, and cut back, and - what do you know - that doting woman is naked in bed with Naschy! This has to be one of the most unintentionally hilarious edits I have seen in a movie. Who needs things like seduction, sexual tension, chemistry - this is Naschy we're talking about. You know the girls are going to get naked. Why not just show her in bed with him and be done with it?

The man who owns the mansion is inexplicably kind to Naschy, and his brutal criminality begins to soften. But right from the beginning we are shown that, surprise surprise, all is not as it seems in this spooky mansion. In one of the weirdest moments, we see the man whipping the panty-clad butt of his beautiful black maid, while she admonishes him, "harder! harder!"

Is she a maid, or a... slave?

The movie seriously stalls when Naschy starts living at the mansion. Considering how it skips the details of Naschy's apparent seduction of the daughters, this is strange: it's like it misses necessary scenes to replace them with filler. The movie cuts to the Japanese that Naschy has ripped off, but for no real reason I can tell, other than the fact that the movie is a Japanese co-production. There are also some dream sequences, and a ghostly apparition of a woman who serves no purpose other than reminding you you are watching a horror movie.

In one of the movie's more memorable scenes, a man is... meant to be eaten alive by some bloody-snouted pigs.

Finally, there is a crazy fancy dress party at the mansion, which is probably the movie's best moment. As the rich eccentrics eat, the pigs are cut back to, reminding us for the nth time that Eurohorror basically exists to show rich people behaving like swine.

This scene comes too late, though, and I'd be surprised if many who watch "Human Beasts" would still be paying attention by this point. The film has some good moments, but the structure is too weak to string them all together, unfortunately. I think all Naschy is worth watching for cult/horror fans, but this isn't one of his best.

Paul Naschy is Bruno, who double crosses his girlfriend Mieko (Eiko Nagashima) and an Asian gang to steal some diamonds. They are hot on his trail while he holes up with a kind doctor (Lautaro Murúa).

Of course, the doctor has two beautiful daughters (Silvia Aguilar & Azucena Hernández) and a hot maid (Roxana Dupre). It remains to be seen who ends up with Bruno.

Meanwhile, there are some very strange and gruesome things going on in the house. including an apparition (Julia Saly).

But, the real goings on don't come until the end. One suspects something, but you are not sure until the end.

A good Naschy film.

Human Beasts (1980)

BOMB (out of 4)

Bruno Rivera (Paul Naschy) is a hit-man working for the Yakuza. He sets up a major robbery but after stealing the jewels he decides to keep them. After being wounded he is discovered by a kind doctor and his daughters but soon he realizes this isn't a good thing.

I said "soon he realizes..." but let me change that. In the final seconds of the movie he realizes that they aren't what they seemed. When NIGHT OF THE WEREWOLF bombed at the box office, horror star Naschy had to travel to Japan for financing and that resulted in two movies. This one here and THE BEAST AND THE MAGIC SWORD would follow. I'm really not sure what they were trying to do with HUMAN BEASTS but there's no question that it's the worst film in Naschy's career and a truly torturous thing to try and get through.

What's so shocking about HUMAN BEASTS is how it really doesn't fit into any genre. It's partially horror but not really. It's partially a Yakuza movie but not really. It has some mystery elements but it's not really a mystery. This is a film that really doesn't belong to any genre and for the life of me I can't see what made anyone want to give money to this picture. I mean, if Naschy as a werewolf had just bombed were there really going to be anyone wanting to watch this thing?

I've read reviews from people calling this an unsettling nightmare and a creepy picture but I don't see it. In fact, the movie is downright boring right from the start and it just drags to the point where you wish you were the one being targeted. The performances aren't the worst that you'll ever see but they're still not great enough to keep you into the picture. The gore is minimum and in reality there's just nothing here. It's a flat, boring and drawn-out picture that just doesn't work at all.

Paul Naschy wrote and directed this Japanese/Spanish co-production, but instead of playing his regular hero or sympathetic monster, the Euro-horror star's character is a complete and utter git. Naschy plays Bruno Rivera, a ruthless mercenary hired by crime-boss Taro (Kogi Maritugu) to carry out a daring diamond robbery. As Bruno waits for the day of the heist, he romances Taro's sister Mieko (Eiko Nagashima), getting her pregnant, so it comes as a surprise when the mercenary double-crosses his employer and jilts his lover, running off with the sparklers. Taro and Mieko, naturally miffed, vow to hunt the scoundrel down.

During a shootout, Taro is killed and Bruno wounded, but Mieko's target gives her the slip. Eventually passing out from loss of blood, Bruno wakes to find himself in the home of doctor Don Simón (Lautaro Murúa) and his sexy daughters Alicia (the lovely Azucena Hernández) and Mónica (Silvia Aguilar), who nurse him back to health. Meanwhile, Mieko is closing in, determined to take revenge.

What follows is a fairly typical example of Euro sleaze, with both Mónica and Alicia lusting after Bruno, meaning that Naschy gets to roll around with both girls naked (remember, he wrote this, the sly old devil). There's also some naughtiness involving shapely servant girl Raquel, Don Simón giving her a flogging on her ass for disobedience (giving us a hint that the old guy isn't quite the saint that he at first appears to be). There's also some violence, a mysterious figure creeping about the house killing various visitors, allowing for a smattering of gore.

With the nudity and blood boxes well and truly ticked, Carnival of the Beasts should give most Naschy fans a reasonable time, but to be honest, the plot is pretty lousy, the acting not great (not helped by terrible dubbing on the version I watched), and the whole thing is rounded off with a very silly twist ending (all of which are probably plus points for many Euro-horror fans).

5/10, if only for this hilariously un-PC line of dialogue spoken about Asian women: 'They all look the same to me'.