Les filles du KGB

One of the great thrills the medias film and DVD give me is the possibility to travel in time. B movies are often very rewarding in this aspect as they reflect the feel of a certain era in a certain place without the slightest pretenses and therefore all the purer. Secret Weapons is a perfect example to illustrate that.

In 1985 the Red Scare still was very real in the Western World. The Soviet Empire seemed to be an intact hostile machinery, its potential of committing evil actions boundless. There were reports of Western men who were put into uncomfortable situations by female „baits" and later subjected to blackmail (didn't the West reciprocate in kind?) The script for this movie draws from stories of that sort and basically tells about a „bait school" in which innocent Russian girls are turned into Communist femmes fatales in the name of the Motherland.

On the whole the story is not credible. No research at all seems to have been made either into any real case of seduction or into the behavior of people in Russia when they are amongst each other. The movie suggests that all Russian women are (or were then) prudes and had first to be corrupted by the System. I have my doubts about that. Anyway, the actors all come through as Americans who are dressed up as Russians, including a fake Russian accent – which in itself has some fascination and charm. The „bait school" seems to be fashioned after the FBI Academy in Quantico – as we know it from the movies, which is quite amusing.

Morals play quite an important role in Secret Weapons. The teachers of the girls, a married couple who once were on a kind of assignment in the US, have to explain American ethics to them. They tell them that America is a sex crazed nation, screening some innocent TV commercials to them as proof. Basically they learn that in America women are regarded primarily as sex objects which can be used as a secret weapon or a trade advantage. What I my opinion could be considered an arguable universal truth is reduced here to a US specialty – which tells more about the makers of the movie than about reality. The main character certainly becomes aware of the basically self demeaning character of her „job" and the doubtful results of her actions, but unfortunately these doubts (which are also expressed in a very American kind of way) are not really explored.

Back to the aspect of time travel. This movie is a joy to watch just for the set design, the wardrobe and the hairdos and the pasting of some Cyrillic posters on the walls of Quebec (where the location shots were done). Its great how the portraits of those two geezers look down on the youngster who just have been ordered to get acquainted and have (taped) sexual intercourse, while they are starting a kind of a disco in the Quantico like place – did you recognize them, the geezers? I did. It was Yuri Andropov and Konstantin Ustinovich Chernenko. Chernenko looks flushed even in the heavily doctored black and white Soviet icon, he ruled the Soviet Empire for circa 13 months in a state of half mummification – a sure sign that not all was well there, even then.

The first eighteen film I ever saw was Robocop. I thought. But Sexpionage (which is what this was called when I saw it) was a real eye opener for me in primary school. The premise is very similar to 'The Handmaids Tale' or 'Nikita'. But whereas that was a feminist pion, 'Secret Weapon' was very much on the side of titilation. Attractive woman is taught how to use her body for espionage.

This was the first time I saw Linda Hamilton (The Terminator some years off for me) all fuzzy hair and hurt look. I think it was a pretty awful film. I remember it being the talk of school the following day, although at that age, the main topic was probably whether anyone would want to go into the spy profession, and not the scene when all of the female students have to flash their breasts. Odd that.

This was a surprise for me. I did not know what to expect from this movie and found it very good. Linda Hamilton is the star and she is very good playing a simple Russian Girl who is recruited to join a sex school so she can be used to compromise US men. There is a scene with her being forced to strip down to just her bra and panties and its intense. Also in the movie, but a smaller part but well done is a young Gena Davis. This was a highly enjoyable movie, strongly recommended.

It was widely believed that these schools actually existed. Whether they did or not, I do not know.

During my first visit to the Soviet Union in 1977 I met a girl who fit this description almost perfectly. I met her in Yerevan, Armenia. She spoke English so perfectly that I could not imagine that she was not American. She knew everything about America. She was about 20 years old. She accompanied me everywhere I went for three or four days. She waited outside my hotel for me, which was the Hotel Armenia, every morning. She said that she was a graduate from the Foreign Language Institute in Moscow and her teachers had been American. This explained her perfect accent. She had never been outside of the Soviet Union.

I do not even remember her name, except that she was beautiful and she DID NOT play chess. During that same visit to Armenia I met two other girls who were strong chess players (but who did not speak much English) and I was much more interested in them.

Was this girl I met a budding KGB agent? I do not know. Probably she was not but it made me a bit nervous to be spending time with a girl in the Soviet Union who spoke English as well as I do. I never even tried to get her into bed.

Sam Sloan

This is a typical North American spy-romantic film about the USSR, based on a cliche from the 50s.

In the center of the story is a young woman from a rural part of Russia who for some reason was chosen by the KGB for its operations.

Most likely, this was done to make it easier for the viewer to believe in the purity of her motives, selfless love for "freedom" and religion.

In reality, a city dweller with a good background in English would be chosen for such a job.

But this movie is a fairy tale for housewives and lovers of inexpensive exotics.

The special school also looks very funny. It's a cross between a barracks and a church school, where instead of strict nuns and sergeants there are KGB officers.

Most likely, the film was shot in Canada, judging by the large number of Lada cars of the sixth model.

Acting is quite tolerable for such an inexpensive product. Franciscus is convincing in the role of a protective mentor, and Geena Davis and Linda Hamilton in the roles of naive girls. The final scene turned out to be very touching and elegant.

Otherwise, it is quite a cheap trinket in order to amuse the inhabitants of the "free world" and make them think that everyone dreams of their freedom, and not just about a high standard of living with affordable cars, affordable food, clothes and other really objective advantages.