Invasion U.S.A.

First off, let's just make it clear that my friend James is an idiot. Look at the cast credits... no credits for the President, let alone his daughter...

Anyhow, despite what James said, INVASION U.S.A. is yet another Chuck Norris epic of patriotism and action. Chuck Norris saves the day and kicks Richard Lynch's butt back to Russia in this 1980's classic. It's nothing spectacular that would be deemed a must see, yet I can't avoid sitting back and watching this movie when it is on TNT (they know drama alright).

Chuck Norris goes on to do WALKER, TEXAS RANGER and SIDEKICKS. Richard Lynch goes on to film WEREWOLF with veteran actor R.C. Bates, the best worst movie ever made.

Sit back and relax America, Chuck's got our back.

A large group of international terrorists led by Soviet agent Rostove invade America unexpectedly and go on to turn country against each other. However after turning down the job, ex-government agent Matt Hunter takes up the assignment, when they kill his friend in an attack that was aimed at him. Rostove and Hunter share a past, and now Hunter wants to seem him dead and Rostove fearful obsession of Hunter could disrupt their plans of turning America against each other.

Who you kidding? No one can take down Chuck. Not even an army of international mercenaries! Gee this is gold medal stuff from Norris (whose name appears in bold gold letters to head the credits) and he even co-wrote the insane screenplay. Touchdown! Get ready for something so stupendously outrageous and wonderfully dumb that you'll get an all out assault on your senses and plenty "bang" for your buck. While your funny bone will get a real tickle out of it! Director Joseph Zito and actor (or better put karate champ) Chuck Norris tackle this preposterous, but always riveting anarchy macho action camp that the 80s loved to heave up. Plenty of gunfire assured and Norris showing off with those eye-opening moves (no not that bare chest sticking out of his always half/or unbuttoned shirt), but the main weapon of choice seemed to be anything that caused numerous explosions. Meaning a high and random casualty rate! Zito's bravura style never lets up, as the crunching stunt-work holds up strongly and the perverse violence towards innocence amazes. Joao Fernandes' professionally shoots the film with the right scope to capture the mayhem and Jay Chattaway's roaring score fits ruggedly into the mix.

A denim wearing Norris is looking comfortably stiff and expressionless throughout as former CIA agent Matt Hunter. The excellent Richard Lynch goes monstrously hammy as the mastermind villain Soviet agent Rostov and Alexander Zale sticks to a rather icy and relaxed mode as his right-hand. Showing up in smaller parts is a bored looking Eddie Jones, the feisty and useless irritation that was Melissa Prophet and Billy Drago as a greasy drug dealer. Now that armadillo was a star. I thought Norris was going to have a buddy to work off, but it seem to get the boot.

The hysterical premise is corn, laughable and downright punishing in its look at the heart of America and Reagan-era that turns the country upside down. It done with serious faces, which only makes it more stupid and plot holes are that large due to probably all of those explosions. Norris character must've been so gifted in that he was the everywhere man with his pick-up truck. How does he do it? How does he know? Because he was at the right place at the right time to prevent what he could… well 99% of the time. However nothing beats how he manages to disappear then reappear to stump those villains. They didn't know what hit them! The juvenile script on the other-hand did, but these carefree one-liners were ridiculously fun and Norris always had a way with words. The less the better.

Loud and senseless gung-ho gusto. With security like Norris, America should never fear an invasion on their doorstep.

There's a 20-minute stretch in 'Invasion U.S.A.' where Chuck Norris' Matt Hunter character keeps showing up out of the blue to thwart various Commie terror attacks that his character would have had no clue were about to take place. We all know the real Chuck Norris is omniscient, but who knew that his characters were as well? 'Invasion U.S.A.' is high on dead bodies, and low on logic and common sense, but it's a fairly well made film from the technical side, and seeing Norris operate at the peak of his hairy-chested machismo is always a treat.

Best Chuckism; "If you come back in here, I'm gonna hit you with so many rights you're gonna be beggin' for a left.".

In 1985, when this film was out, it was a rocking thriller that any of Norris' fans would have given their thumbs to see.

It has NOT aged well.

The plot itself, about communists invading America, was a little far-fetched even for then. A good "what if" scenario at the most.

But when Chuck cuts loose, watch out.

A series of action scenes that make ol' Chuck out to be nothing less than a superhero. The bomb on the bus. The bomb in church. The truck chase. The supermarket shoot-out. The man had ESP and ice in his veins. As great as these scenes may have looked, reality was non-existent.

When Rostov firebombs the homes on Christmas eve however, it was sad to see. Seeing the little girl crying in her front yard while her home and family burn down will NOT be easy to see. Showing kids playing in the street and people getting Christmas shopping out of their cars before the carnage brought it home. This was the "This Rostov guy is SCUM" scene. Made you hate him even more.

Kudos to Richard Lynch. He does make a great villain.

Oh come on! This movie is hilarious!!

Chuck Norris is the funniest action hero since Charlie Sheen in "Hot Shots Part Deux"! Of course the plot (what there is of one) is completely ridiculous, and only exists to have an excuse to blow stuff up and for Chuck to beat people up. This only adds to the laughability! I highly recommend this to any person looking for the ultimate in exagerated action films. And those quotes! Classic!!

"If you come in here again, I'll hit you with so many rights..you'll beg for a left!"