Horror House on Highway Five

Some college kids head out to the woods to do some research on the V-2 rocket developed by the Nazis during WWII and run afoul of a couple of cultists and a killer running around wearing a Richard Nixon mask, who may or may not be a resurrected Nazi. This is just such an odd film that I was transfixed by it. I can't tell if the film's quirkiness is intentional or a result of ineptitude (most likely a combination of both). Director Richard Casey will definitely confuse the viewer as one scene will be poorly staged and the next surprisingly clever (the final shot from inside the van as it pulls away from the final girl on a highway is very well done). The soundtrack is filled with popular rock songs, which I'm sure they had absolutely no license to use. Some re-releases remove them entirely. Ronald Reagan gets credited as the killer Richard Nixon. Haha.

Um...wow. I don't think anything could have possibly prepared me for this one...it couldn't have been any weirder if the actors walked backwards and talked like Popeye.

A confounding amateur freak-out which sails straight through the roof of conventional exposition, HORROR HOUSE ON HIGHWAY FIVE involves two maniac brothers and their female captive, some kids stranded in the middle of nowhere with a broken-down van, and a vicious killer creeping about in a rubber Nixon mask. Additionally, the film get an injection of undefined supernatural hooey, with the matters at hand awkwardly italicized by inappropriate avant-gard musical sweeps.

When a movie turns out this strange, it becomes rather difficult to criticize. Regardless of your conclusive feelings toward HORROR HOUSE, there's no denying that it's an experience entirely unlike any other. When you consider lengths to which many recognized "great" directors have gone in hopes of achieving this very distinction, the oddly wavering characteristics of this film must be called into question.

...well...sort of.

4/10

This forgotten 80s slasher is truly one that has to be seen to be believed. Its got a killer in a Richard Nixon mask, a couple of Nazi brothers, a girl getting her chest ironed (!), invisible whipping weapons (think Phantasm but on a much lower budget), a teleporting disemboweled cat, brain-eating maggots, surf-rock music, and more! None of it makes any sense and by no means is it a good movie but its so bizarre you just cant take your eyes off it! Love the scene where a chick throws herself into a glass coffee table...to get away from the killer! The DVD is the quality of a VHS transfer but, in this case, it actually kinda helps the film by giving it the grainy picture effect that works well for a film of this "so bad it's almost good" caliber.

I only hope my VCR can recover. Lets rate the individual parts shall we:

Acting - BAD Story Line - BAD Dialoge - BAD Cinematography - BAD Effects - BAD

Well, you get the picture. No, don't get the picture. This movie was surprisingly made in 1985. It looks more like an early 70's movie. You would hope at least their would be some gratuitous nudity or some gory killing. But no. The killing scenes are comical and the women remain annoyingly unexposed. The Nixon mask thing could have been more comical if the directors and producers had any clue but alas, they do not.

What can I say? This is the absolute WORST movie EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER made. And that's a HUGE UNDERSTATEMENT! There is no plot, no acting, no direction, no anything! It's worse than "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" only it takes itself seriously! Now granted it is funny to see Richard Nixon killing people, the death scenes suck. I am also not surprised to see that EVERY actor/actress in this movie have this film as their only credit on the IMDb. Skip this trash unless you absolutely do not believe me. I will give it this: there is definitely nothing else remotely like it! And it had a cool tagline: "They were young and in love. He was crazy. She was dead." Funny stuff.