Le monde oublié

Cave Girl is a humorous tongue in cheek romantic comedy that follows the romantic relationship of bumbling modern day Rex and beautiful and sexy pre-historic cave girl Eba. The movie follows the bumbling Rex through a series of slapstick pranks and mishaps that culminate in his transport 25,000 years back in time to meet and fall in love with the beautiful Eba. And, along the way, Rex becomes a man that saves Eba and the rest of the local clan from cannibals. Eventually, though, Rex and Eba must face reality. Will Rex return to his own time, where Eba cannot possible fit in, or will he stay and build a life with Eba and the rest of the tribe. This movie is a humorous, and at times poignant, look at the trials, tribulations, opportunities and decisions that young people often face as they come of age. Well worth a look.

There are some laughs to be had in this movie but the best thing going for it is the nudity. The best parts are at the beginning and the end but nudity is present throughout the movie mostly in the form of flashing breasts or bathing in a river.

This movie is now on DVD and I must say, the video quality is crisp and clear and is presented in widescreen format. Also included is the trailer.

In his first leading role, actor Daniel Roebuck ("River's Edge", "The Fugitive") plays Rex, a geeky high school student who's constantly being mocked and made a victim of pranks. He and his science class go on a field trip to visit caves and check out the primitive paintings. Due to some sort of miracle involving jet plane tests and a weird crystal inside the cave, Rex is magically transported back to caveman times. Here he meets the girl of his dreams, the sweet, bubbly and naive blonde Eba (Cynthia Thompson). He then makes it his mission to try to seduce this prehistoric babe.

"Cavegirl" isn't anything great. At its best, it's just sort of mildly funny and engaging. Sometimes it's also silly and tiresome. But there are decent lowbrow laughs to be had as the cave people have their misadventures. The actors give enthusiastic performances, and there is a certain degree of trash on hand to please fans of the 1980s Crown International catalogue. Specifically, there's a respectable amount of bare breasts, particularly during an early girls' locker room scene. Jon St. James's deliberately dopey music score is another source of amusement. Roebuck is good (and a good sport when it comes to being the butt of jokes), but it's the charming and absolutely lovely Ms. Thompson (who sadly died much too young) who is the main reason to watch. You won't be able to take your eyes off of her, and she's enormously appealing, to boot.

There is some well executed aerial photography to begin the movie, and unlike most Crown International productions, almost all of the credits are saved for the final few minutes. Writer / producer / director / cinematographer David Oliver looked like he was working with a pretty low budget, but his movie hits the ground running and clocks in at a fairly painless 82 minutes.

Six out of 10.

Yep you guessed it, it's bad movie night again.. and here is your host.. me!! Today's specimen under review is one of the many 'hilarious' teen sex comedies made during the 80's. Unfortunately, we have to keep it under lock and key because of fears that its utter crappiness could be contagious, but hopefully this review will be enough to convince you to avoid it with the same sort of fervour you'd usually reserve for the bubonic plague.

In a nutshell: A school nerd, publicly derided by everybody around him, gets accidentally sent back in time due to nuclear testing around an archaeological site. He finds himself in an era populated by long-haired Neanderthals wearing suspiciously modern looking clothing, and seems to be in a lot of trouble until he meets the only blonde blue-eyed virgin among them. Together they get involved in spectacularly boring encounters with wild bears and big cats (what, no dinosaurs?) while the nerd tries to teach his new primitive girlfriend English and have his way with her, but just failing every time. Eventually, things come to a head between our babe's clan and a rival tribe of cannibals. Can our weedy hero use his 20th century know-how to save the day and return to his own time, or is he doomed to a life of eating plants and sleeping on rocks?

The opening five minutes sets the tone of this soft-core sleaze-fest, with a bunch of topless busty beauties chasing the doofus out of their changing-room in super slow mo. The whole script seems geared towards him and this stone age chick getting it on, but when the scene eventually arrives, it is extremely underwhelming, and lasts for all of five seconds before cutting to yet another sappy pop song (of which there are plenty). The complete lack of attention to detail in history and the non-performances exhibited by the cast, are forgivable, after all this isn't exactly Shakespeare. What isn't so pardonable though, is the script, which is as boring as hell and make the film a real chore to sit through. Frankly, seeing a bunch of amateur actors in fake animal-skins grunting at each other for an hour and a half with occasional diversions to very mild nudity and unfunny slapstick comedy is not my cup of tea. Neither would be yours if you have any sense. A 1/10 from me, and next time you go back to 2 million B.C, take this video with you and bury it there, will you?

Although it had a horrible storyline, the one perk was the beautiful Cynthia Thompson. She stole my heart in this movie. I would watch it again just to see her. It is reminiscence of Ringo Starr's Caveman, all the campiness of an Ernest movie. Cyntia Thompson and Ringo should collaborate and make a really great prehistoric movie. If not for the nude scenes and and a few other things, children may have very well made this movie a hit. Kids love these type of movies. Too bad it ended up on the all time worst list. It is also too bad Cynthia Ann Thompson has not done a lot more in her career. I would love to see her do some fairy tale movies for the kids (and for me). She has such a beautiful face and smile.