The Naked Monster

I thank Ted Newsom for having finished this 12-year effort. Many of us are grateful to him.

I believe that one must be familiar with vintage horror movies to really appreciate the jokes. Thanks to my guy (known as Tim Sullivan (V) to the IMDb crowd), I've been learning about vintage horror films for a couple of years, so I was primed.

From the first moment I started laughing. Here is Ted Newsom, playing 'William Castle' (qv) to the hilt, with all the warnings about what audiences might find under their seats ... and yet parodying that old Castle-y buncum to the hilt! Yay, Ted! I laughed and laughed ... and when you came back to escort us away from the film, I cried.

The dialogue (which I blame on Ted Newsom, though I don't know whether he wrote it with friends) is absolutely delightful. If you enjoyed the puns in "Batman," then you will find this script to be many times more, er, egregious. Since I love bad puns, I laughed out loud even when the delivery was not perfect: because I could see what the actors were *supposed* to carry off, even if they didn't, quite.

Brinke Stevens, who has acted in nearly a hundred movies, is purely delightful (and sexy, for those of you who will enjoy the gratuitous sex; you might even enjoy the discussions among the characters about what constitutes gratuitousness). Ted, that was just plan brilliant.

So many parodistic effects that I admired ... Let me mention the sexy, nearly-terrifying tryst of the young, deaf couple (I wish *I* had thought that one up!); the hilarious discussion between Doctors Howard, Fine, and Howard (breathes there a man, with soul so dead / Who never to himself hath said, / This is the type of movie to throw the 3 Stooges into!); and, of course, all of the veteran scientists recommending what would be best to do, based upon their own past movies! Ted Newsom, you have made me laugh until I cried, and I have seen it only twice. I need several more times to identify Every Single Movie being homaged here.

I loved every pun, both verbal and visual. This is a brilliant movie. I congratulate you, Ted, and I hope that the eggs point toward a sequel!

It's obvious from the opening credits through the cruddy stock shots that it's intended as a spoof of no-budget monster movies. Too bad some people don't have friends to watch it with, because with a group, it's a hoot. Having seen it at conventions, screenings, and living rooms, I've heard people laughing with the gags-- not AT the film, but with it. Ken Tobey is very dry and funny, sending up his roles in The Thing, Beast from 20,000 Fathoms, etc.... I think Brinke Stevens is probably at her best here (although she's fine in Teenage Exorcist-- which at least had a couple hundred thousand dollars' worth of budget, unlike this $1.98 miracle), and the cast I just love-- all the oldtimers as well as the young-timers. Yeah, I'm more than a little prejudiced, and believe me, I see and hear the flaws more than anyone else. But I know it works as a silly comedy.

(As cruddy as some people might think it is, it was good enough to get into the CascadiaCon Film Festival in Seattle, WA, the RiverRun Film Festival in Winston-Salem, NC, and the sci-fi fest in Modesto, CA. Yeah, but what do THEY know, anyway, huh? As opposed to some fnork in East Bombfook, Noo Joisey.)

A new lizard menace has arisen to terrify the world: the Monstersaurus Erectus. But a select few individuals have the courage and tenacity (if not the brains) to combat the monster: amiable Sheriff Boiler (R.G. Wilson), government agent Jeff Trouble Stewart (John Goodwin), take-charge scientist Nikki Carlton (Brinke Stevens), and the legendary monster killer Colonel Patrick Hendry (Kenneth Tobey, returning to one of his most famous roles in high style).

"The Naked Monster" is essentially both a loving tribute to, and sometimes downright hilarious spoof of, the memorable sci-fi / horror flicks of the 1950s and 1960s. And it name-drops a LOT. It may be a fan film (written with passion by producer Ted Newsom, who co-directed with Wayne Berwick), but it has a definite edge over a lot of fan films in that Newsom and Berwick were able to get a number of stars from those vintage genre films to make appearances. In addition to the great Tobey, the line-up consists of John Agar, Jeanne Carmen, Robert Clarke, Robert Cornthwaite, John Harmon, Paul Marco, Lori Nelson, Ann Robinson, Gloria Talbott, Robert Shayne, and Les Tremayne. If you adore those old genre pictures, it's a no-brainer to check this out just to see these familiar faces (even if some of their appearances are rather fleeting). It's especially fun for any Kenneth Tobey fan to see him once again in a top-billed role. And if you love the gorgeous Brinke, you'll delight in seeing her in a lead role. If you recognize Goodwin, it's because he had a small part in "Tremors", a modern classic also made in this vein.

"The Naked Monster" was largely shot in 1988, with reshoots done 16 years later; by that point, much of the veteran talent had all passed away. Brinke returned for the reshoots, and you'd hardly differentiate the new footage from the old. The whole movie is done in a cheap style that really attempts to emulate the feel of some of those old pictures. It comes complete with copious stock footage, and use of stock music cues.

The movie doesn't always have great gags, or great momentum, but when it DOES hit, it's a riot, and it keeps up the irreverence right through the closing credits. It's reminiscent of the kind of thing that the Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker boys did so well (except, of course, those guys probably would have gotten more of a budget). The special effects are hilariously, memorably, endearingly tacky. And I do want to stress the word TACKY.

A must see for people looking for humour and nostalgia; if you only approach it on the basis of its technical merits, of COURSE it's going to come up short.

Seven out of 10.

Forrest J. Ackerman, who plays "flustered man" shows up in a few films. "Forrie" is best known as the editor/publisher of the magazine "Famous Monsters of Filmland" He was doing this kind of cameo before Stan Lee ever thought of it.

Great spoof...it has a lot of gratuitous nudity and the violence is silly/goofy. Language is minimal. Overall very fun but yeah, not for the family to sit and watch.