A la poursuite du soleil d'or

Despite the distinctive title, YELLOW HAIR AND THE FORTRESS OF GOLD turns out to be an absolute dog of a movie, and that's from somebody with a penchant for early '80s fare. This is some kind of shambolic comedy adventure in which a feisty heroine and her sidekick roam around a barren landscape, fighting off warriors and gunslingers in a hunt for mystical treasure.

The plotting's okay, I suppose, but it's the execution where this film really fails: it's treated as a dumb-as-nails comedy, with awful dialogue that sounds like it's been dubbed in, and execrable performances. It says something when the statuesque but wooden Laurene Landon (HUNDRA) gives the best performance in a film otherwise chock full of actors gurning, hamming it up, performing tired slapstick routines, and the like.

The running time is overlong and the exaggerated direction, with its repeated use of slow motion, soon wears on the viewer. If they had taken things seriously then this might have been halfway enjoyable, but the repeated (and repetitive) attempts at dumb humour absolutely sink it. Yeah, I hated it.

YELLOW HAIR AND THE FORTRESS OF GOLD is a Crown International release, which we all know what that means: acting, production values, dialogue are all questionable. Seriously, this movie looks like one of the bigger budgeted CI flicks but that doesn't mean the movie itself is better than the average CI release. While watching it, the film reminded me more of Spaghetti Westerns than the Indiana Jones type of movies it's being advertised as. The title and the video's cover box are very deceptive. YELLOW HAIR AND THE PECOS KID is a more apt title. Though there are some moments about a lost civilization and treasures, the whole stale flick is nowhere near the type of action seen in RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, even if both movies use old time serials as their source of inspiration.

The film itself was dull and creaky. Lotsa slow motion gun action, typical in Westerns made in the 1960s. Seeing that this movie was made in the 1980s, YELLOW HAIR has a very outdated feel to it. Spaghetti Westerns weren't being made in the 1980s anymore. It's seems the producers of this stillborn action/western weren't aware of this. The acting was mostly bad. The ineffectual heroine, Yellow Hair, is unfortunately nicknamed "Yella" throughout the movie. The whole film is politically incorrect but not in a fun P.I. way. Some of the stunts involving horses were obviously harmful to the animals. All in all, a pretty forgettable and pointless Spaghetti Western film, deceptively advertised as an action movie.

I'm only reviewing this because so few people have. It's not worth seeking out but could help pass an empty 90 minutes without too much pain.

Laurene Landon is a big, strong, beautiful woman who started getting cast in Amazon roles following the success of 'All the Marbles', where she played a wrestler and mostly left the acting to Peter Falk. A good thing, that, because LL is not the greatest actress and no-one in this movie is much better. The story is derivative spaghetti-western, sort of merged with Flash-Gordon-style serial and Indiana-Jones-style temples, gold etc. Nothing original apart from the female tough-guy but nothing too stupid either.

Direction, script, etc are reasonably competent and the budget must have been fairly high given the scale, effects quality, etc. The cast seem to be enjoying themselves, it's actually funny for the viewer in places and some of the ideas, like the brushwood snakes, weren't bad at all. Why they didn't use some of that budget to hire real actors is anyone's guess.

LL delivers as usual with lots of enthusiasm, but if you want to watch her doing this kind of tough-girl stuff, Hundra is a better movie in most respects.

There are some reviews on this site that give Yellow Hair one star. That's uncalled for as this is not a bad movie. It's no Seven Samurai, but let's be honest with our expectations on a movie called 'Yellow Hair and the Fortress of Gold'. This movie doesn't deliver Oscars, but it does deliver a funny script with plenty of gun-play and Spaghetti Western caricatures of good and bad guys (or gals!).

It promotes itself as a 'Lost Ark' style adventure movie, and that is more than a little misleading, as this could have just as easily been a Corbucci or Tessari film. I would let that go, however, and just enjoy a goofy throwback with a high entertainment value.

Rating: 26/40

Director Matt Cimber kicks off Yellow Hair and the Fortress of Gold in the style of a Saturday morning serial adventure, introducing the viewer to his characters (to the cheers of an appreciative audience) before plonking the viewer in the middle of an ongoing story. It's a lively way to start proceedings, but that's where the fun ends, the exploits of half-breed Yellow Hair (statuesque blonde Laurene Landon) and lovable rogue The Pecos Kid (Ken Roberson) proving stupefyingly tedious despite plenty of noisy action—shooting, explosions, fights and chases, including the obligatory classic stagecoach stunt that sees our heroes falling between the horses.

One can't fault Cimber for trying, I suppose, but his terrible script, lacklustre direction and unengaging characters make for a virtually joyless experience. The shambolic plot meanders aimlessly throughout, there's way too much boring conversation, the comedy is exceptionally weak, and star Landon displays little in the way of acting ability. About the only aspect I enjoyed was the occasional spot of mean spirited violence: a commanchero is thrown off his horse over the edge of a cliff, another is slowly lynched, and one poor guy has his head dipped in molten gold before being decapitated.

In the tradition of the serials it seeks to emulate, the film ends on a cliffhanger, suggesting that a sequel was planned: thankfully, it never materialised.