Kaine le mercenaire

So, it's not the latest Merchant-Ivory production. Let's face it, those blokes could certainly learn a thing or two from the Roger Corman school of filmmaking.

"THE WARRIOR AND THE SORCERESS" has a lot going for it, and bears the distinction of being the only film in motion picture history to ever combine all of the following elements* into a neat 77 minute package AND still manage to pack the kids' lunches, run for Governor of Illinois and pick up last week's dry cleaning all at the same time. What a trooper!

*"The following elements"... -- David Carradine -- Tons of naked women -- Sword fights (inept and otherwise) -- Maria Socas running around topless eighty percent of the time -- Cues from James Horner's "HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP" score -- Tons of breasts... the friendly kind -- A fat man and his angry lizard (that astounds like no other animatronic, yet immobile angry lizard ever could!) -- A chick with four... count 'em... four tits (beat that Verhoeven!) -- And, of course... David Carradine.

What more could you ask for? A blender? This film deserves it's own category. Peplum Film Noir.

If you want to send love this Christmas, give 'em "THE WARRIOR AND THE SORCERESS". They'll devour it in 77 minutes flat... and, love you for it, if time permits.

David Carradine can be entertaining if he has any chance at all, and this film provides him with the opportunity. He plays the disillusioned, violent, seemingly corrupt "Dark Warrior" to the hilt.

Maria Socas plays the entire film nearly naked. This has surely limited its "exposure" to the general media, including of course television. However, her natural state enhances the visual imagery of the film and she seems almost sacred in her devotion to her office of priestess. What a state we are in, when we so readily accept tremendous, gory violence in film, yet eschew nudity as something taboo and dirty.

This is, of course, a "cheapie B movie", but it isn't so badly done. I find it compelling, entertaining escapism. Its a good "guy" film, so just lean back and imagine.

Well, first off you can't expect much from the man who produced the Deathstalker Series.. =) But this film I think is the better of the whole sword and sorcery films he's released.

The story is set in a slave town where two clans are at swords with each other to control the well and the people in this desert wasteland. The film circles the adventures of the Dark One(according to the box and creds, Carridine's character's name is Kain, which I don't want to call him. Its just stupid to name him the same thing from Kung Fu. He's only called the Dark One in the movie), who has stumbled into this town, and begins selling his skills as a swordsman to the higher pay.

The film is pretty decent, but don't expect Conan the Barbarian, or Beastmaster. The only two questions I have are:

Why doesn't Naja(Maria Socas) EVER put on a bra or a shirt? The whole entire film she is topless. At first I thought it was because she was a slave wench to one of the clans, but even when she was free, she still didn't put anything on.

If the Sword of Ura can cut through an anvil, why doesn't it chop through everyone's swords like a hot knife through butter?

Eh, oh well. Watch the film if you have nothing better to do.

Its the 80's and Sword and Sorcery without CGI is the game. David Carradine wanders into town with a massive sword and runs through the script of Yojimbo, then he runs through a series of henchman in some poorly executed fight scenes.

There is a town and a well that provides all the water. Two hopeless chieftains battle for control until Carradine plays both sides.

Budget must have been very tight, most of the savings made in the Women's clothing budgets - nudity a standard.

The film is just lacking in almost all areas, but at least it gets on with it in a breezy 80 minutes and therefore carries enough dumb fun to completely outweigh its welcome.

Would you believe it, a sword and sorcery adaption of Akira Kurosawa's classic, Yojimbo?! Yes indeed and it's actually rather entertaining stuff to boot in fact.

David Carradine stars as a mysterious, monosyllabic, sword wielding wanderer (try repeating that when you're drunk!) who arrives in a town run by two warring factions and who subsequently proceeds to counter sell his fighting prowess to each side in turn, whilst simultaneously playing them both off against one another.

Containing some nicely implemented sword play (choreographed by fellow star in this and always fun to watch, Anthony De Longis), a fair quota of breasts including one woman who bears four, yes FOUR of them(!) and even a rubbery tentacled monster, this proves to be a highly satisfying watch if your in the mood for the like.