Kaine le mercenaire

So, it's not the latest Merchant-Ivory production. Let's face it, those blokes could certainly learn a thing or two from the Roger Corman school of filmmaking.

"THE WARRIOR AND THE SORCERESS" has a lot going for it, and bears the distinction of being the only film in motion picture history to ever combine all of the following elements* into a neat 77 minute package AND still manage to pack the kids' lunches, run for Governor of Illinois and pick up last week's dry cleaning all at the same time. What a trooper!

*"The following elements"... -- David Carradine -- Tons of naked women -- Sword fights (inept and otherwise) -- Maria Socas running around topless eighty percent of the time -- Cues from James Horner's "HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP" score -- Tons of breasts... the friendly kind -- A fat man and his angry lizard (that astounds like no other animatronic, yet immobile angry lizard ever could!) -- A chick with four... count 'em... four tits (beat that Verhoeven!) -- And, of course... David Carradine.

What more could you ask for? A blender? This film deserves it's own category. Peplum Film Noir.

If you want to send love this Christmas, give 'em "THE WARRIOR AND THE SORCERESS". They'll devour it in 77 minutes flat... and, love you for it, if time permits.

Warrior and the Sorceress is a fantasy version of the classic Japanese film Yojimbo, which was later remade as A Fistful Of Dollars. Basically, a stranger with no name (David Carradine) comes into town amongst rival factions fighting over a well, the only source of water. He plays both sides of the fence, yada yada yada....you've all seen it a zillion times.

What makes this different, besides the setting, is the fantasy/medieval weirdness factor, including the sorceress (Maria Socas, looking fetching as she does the entire film sans a top), a telepathic (and incredibly phony) monitor lizard, and, to top it all off, a dance by a lady with four (count 'em, four!) honkers. And, I have to admit, her prosthetics seemed to me incredibly well done. Maybe that's just me.

The swordplay was quite good, and the acting (though not spectacular), was entirely adequate. It seems like everyone involved had a great time, and so did I.

For your rental (or purchase) dollar, you could do a whole lot worse...

This movie has all the classic elements of a standard fantasy movie - a few good ideas and loads of bad execution. Notable for the appearance of David Carradine who plays just about the most unsympathetic character I've seen him play. Check out the exotic dancer scene, good for a few laughs. The extras were obviously new to acting, since they could hardly have done a worse job. Nevertheless, the script has a decent plot to it.

David Carradine can be entertaining if he has any chance at all, and this film provides him with the opportunity. He plays the disillusioned, violent, seemingly corrupt "Dark Warrior" to the hilt.

Maria Socas plays the entire film nearly naked. This has surely limited its "exposure" to the general media, including of course television. However, her natural state enhances the visual imagery of the film and she seems almost sacred in her devotion to her office of priestess. What a state we are in, when we so readily accept tremendous, gory violence in film, yet eschew nudity as something taboo and dirty.

This is, of course, a "cheapie B movie", but it isn't so badly done. I find it compelling, entertaining escapism. Its a good "guy" film, so just lean back and imagine.

This movie was not great by any means. The plot was acceptable, and sometimes comical. The characters were fairly one-dimensional and relatively easy to predict. The movie was more for laughs than anything else, as there are quite a number of random things. If you ever watch the movie, be on the lookout for: a talking lizard, pointless nudity, and David Carradine pulling down his eye socket (which was completely bizarre). This movie was not the best 'worst' movie ever, but it was fairly decent for mindless entertainment. The swordplay was tolerable too, but the sets were awful. I enjoyed it though, as David Carradine is just so cool in his own right.