Kaine le mercenaire

The production values of this feature is at a minimun, the acting horrible, David Carradine I gotta laugh out loud at this character. The acting is in fact so bad that I appreciated Arnold's Conan enterpretation. The move sets a new standard for Bad bad bad B movies.

The sets are as cheesy as I've ever seen em... The plot is fair enough though. Special effects: laughable, cool talking lizard :P

If you dont have anything better to do, you could check it out but dont expect too much though.

This movie has all the classic elements of a standard fantasy movie - a few good ideas and loads of bad execution. Notable for the appearance of David Carradine who plays just about the most unsympathetic character I've seen him play. Check out the exotic dancer scene, good for a few laughs. The extras were obviously new to acting, since they could hardly have done a worse job. Nevertheless, the script has a decent plot to it.

Warrior and the Sorceress is a fantasy version of the classic Japanese film Yojimbo, which was later remade as A Fistful Of Dollars. Basically, a stranger with no name (David Carradine) comes into town amongst rival factions fighting over a well, the only source of water. He plays both sides of the fence, yada yada yada....you've all seen it a zillion times.

What makes this different, besides the setting, is the fantasy/medieval weirdness factor, including the sorceress (Maria Socas, looking fetching as she does the entire film sans a top), a telepathic (and incredibly phony) monitor lizard, and, to top it all off, a dance by a lady with four (count 'em, four!) honkers. And, I have to admit, her prosthetics seemed to me incredibly well done. Maybe that's just me.

The swordplay was quite good, and the acting (though not spectacular), was entirely adequate. It seems like everyone involved had a great time, and so did I.

For your rental (or purchase) dollar, you could do a whole lot worse...

Would you believe it, a sword and sorcery adaption of Akira Kurosawa's classic, Yojimbo?! Yes indeed and it's actually rather entertaining stuff to boot in fact.

David Carradine stars as a mysterious, monosyllabic, sword wielding wanderer (try repeating that when you're drunk!) who arrives in a town run by two warring factions and who subsequently proceeds to counter sell his fighting prowess to each side in turn, whilst simultaneously playing them both off against one another.

Containing some nicely implemented sword play (choreographed by fellow star in this and always fun to watch, Anthony De Longis), a fair quota of breasts including one woman who bears four, yes FOUR of them(!) and even a rubbery tentacled monster, this proves to be a highly satisfying watch if your in the mood for the like.

So, it's not the latest Merchant-Ivory production. Let's face it, those blokes could certainly learn a thing or two from the Roger Corman school of filmmaking.

"THE WARRIOR AND THE SORCERESS" has a lot going for it, and bears the distinction of being the only film in motion picture history to ever combine all of the following elements* into a neat 77 minute package AND still manage to pack the kids' lunches, run for Governor of Illinois and pick up last week's dry cleaning all at the same time. What a trooper!

*"The following elements"... -- David Carradine -- Tons of naked women -- Sword fights (inept and otherwise) -- Maria Socas running around topless eighty percent of the time -- Cues from James Horner's "HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP" score -- Tons of breasts... the friendly kind -- A fat man and his angry lizard (that astounds like no other animatronic, yet immobile angry lizard ever could!) -- A chick with four... count 'em... four tits (beat that Verhoeven!) -- And, of course... David Carradine.

What more could you ask for? A blender? This film deserves it's own category. Peplum Film Noir.

If you want to send love this Christmas, give 'em "THE WARRIOR AND THE SORCERESS". They'll devour it in 77 minutes flat... and, love you for it, if time permits.