Le Monstre de l'océan rouge

The monstrous star of 2010 CGI creature-feature Sharktopus is (rather obviously) half-shark-half-octopus, which probably sounds like a fairly unique concept unless you've been unfortunate enough to experience Monster Shark, Lamberto Bava's god-awful movie from 1984, which also features this particular genetic mash-up. Italian horror film-makers are renowned for following US trends, but for once it seems like they actually got there first (and by a whole 26 years).

Don't expect much else in the way of originality from Bava, though: strip away a poorly developed subplot about a shady geneticist out to protect the vicious sea-creature and what you have is just another in a long line of uninspired low-budget Jaws rip-offs, terribly acted, poorly directed, and much more likely to bore than to horrify.

Admittedly, the incredibly bad monster does provide some unintentional giggles, and supplies the film with a few moments of shoddy gore as it chomps down on its prey, and Bava throws in a couple of enjoyably exploitative scenes in which a murderous hired thug (played with gleeful menace by Paul Branco) bumps off a few defenceless victims, but these 'high' points are few and far between; for the majority of the time, Monster Shark is a dull, derivative mess.

I'm still trying to decide which is the worst "monster in the water movie," this or Jaws 4. If you like having your head squeezed in a vice, this movie is for you. This movie is the Italians entry into the already crowded Jaws rip-off market. Their spin: the creature is an artificially created being that combines the deadly qualities of both a shark and an octopus. It was created by a mad scientist played by an actor who never really got the mad part or the scientist part down. Please notice the super-beefy sheriff deputy try to say his lines with one brain cell working overtime. Also notice the supposed "medical doctor" who looks either like a serial kidnapper or cult leader. After the first ten minutes you won't care how they catch the monster.

Moderate Italian killer-fish saga concerning a genetically created shark-squid thing munching on various extras and the marine biologists who go after it. Not enough excitement to keep things afloat plus some bad continuity (watch for the scene where a fleeing woman is tripped by the creature and her handy axe flies overboard, in the next shot it's a couple of inches away from her...) Not the horrible mess it's been made out to be, but simply boring.

Marine biologists in Florida discover that a monstrous shark-like creature has been behind some recent deaths and seek to solve the problem.

Best known as 'Devil Fish' in America (this film has numerous titles) this rather cheap-looking Jaws take from Italy was directed by none other than Mario Bava Jr and believe me, it's far from his best work! Having said that, Devil Fish is mainly a movie for the schlock or trash horror lovers out there. After all our hero's balls do pop out of his shorts in one low-angle shot!! The film is a bit on the sloppy side as far as story and direction goes. The creature FX aren't bad at times (there's some fairly gory scenes to be had) but over all they are uneven. A decent enough cast and music score does help to redeem the film, even if the cast is dubbed something awful.

For those looking for a good Bava Jr film check out Macabrae (1980) or A Blade in the Dark (1983), but those that enjoy trashy Euro-horror might just like this one.

** out of ****

I actually saw Devil Fish long before its infamous MST3K showing. The majority of the horrible editing and pacing were actually from some kind of strange censoring in the print that MST used. There's a lot more gore and violence in th eoriginal cut. Now, don't misinterpret that as praise...Devil Fish is crap and I'm utterly blown away that Lamberto Bava ghost-directed this. Mario Bava must've spun in his grave. Granted, Lamberto has done some dumb movies, but Devil Fish is practically not even a movie...just random crap strung together with a bad storyline. The gore of the uncut version made it BARELY watchable, but not by much. It's still a hilarious movie, though, and MST did it right.