Cérémonie Mortelle

Mortuary (aka Embalmed) is one of a number of American horror movies made around this time that feature places involved in the funeral business, Phantasm, One Dark Night and Mausoleum being a few other examples. It was made during the Golden Age of the Slasher Movie but sadly the only thing golden on offer here is Bill Paxton's enjoyable performance, he plays the son of a funeral director and he likes listening to Mozart, skipping through graveyards and has an unhealthy obsession with a girl called Christie. She is played by Mary Beth McDonough and I found her performance fairly wooden. The movie also stars Christopher George (in his final film role) and his real life wife, the very attractive Lynda Day George. Although primarily a slasher movie the plot does throw in a cult led by C George which appears to be a mix of black magic and seances, pretty pointless but fun to watch, especially the wobbly, moving table! We get the usual, cliche thunderstorms at night and the identity of the killer is so obvious though he does look very creepy, there was not a great deal of gore on show (could be that the Hokushin VHS release that I watched was possibly cut) but we do get some nudity. I liked the creepy musical score, and having some Mozart for the end credits was cool. As a slasher fan I found it to be reasonably enjoyable but it is only a rather minor entry.

(**1/2 out of *****) In spite of some mediocre acting and a somewhat rambling storyline, this tasteless sickie has enough suspenseful and shocking scenes here and there to at least make it interesting. Christopher George (who was in several of these kinds of movies around this time) runs the title establishment, where he holds seances with community mothers and yells at his son (Bill Paxton!) for taking too long to embalm the cadavers. Mary Beth McDonough (from "The Waltons") plays a sleepwalking teenager who witnesses her father's murder (although no one believes her), and George's real-life wife, Lynda Day (who was in the awful "Pieces" with her hubby in the same year), plays her mother. Oh, and there's a creepy, pale-faced killer in a hood and cape running around stabbing and draining people with a large embalming needle. There are gratuitously prolonged shots of needles piercing stomachs, but there are also some genuine scares and a pretty good climax. Plus, you get Bill Paxton (who deserves the credit for this movie's two and a half stars) in an early, over-the-top performance, before he toned down for big-budget blockbusters (and yawn fests) like "Twister" and "Titanic." David Wallace plays McDonough's blonde-haired, beef-cake boyfriend, and, supposedly, Michael Berryman (from "The Hills Have Eyes") is in this thing, but I'll be damned if I spotted him.

HIGHLIGHT: Paxton, with full manic glee, conducts an imaginary Mozart symphony with an audience of dead bodies slumped in chairs behind him (the climaxes of both "Happy Birthday To Me" and "Madhouse" -- also ‘81 slasher films -- are curiously similar. I guess homicidal maniacs love an audience, dead or alive.)

After her father's mysterious death Christy suffers from sleepwalking and night terrors.Making things worse,no one beliefs her claims of a ghoul faced killer lurking in the shadows.When she learns her mother is in a coven of witches,Christy begins to distrust everyone in her life.It's up to Christy's boyfriend to save her from the hands of crazed embalmer played by Bill Paxton,who looks like black metal musician.Fairly decent slasher flick with several jolts of suspense and gruesome deaths.Not a lot of blood and gore,but plenty of breasts both living and cadaver to enjoy.The ending is kind of quick after all the build up,but it is also pretty surprising.Fans of early 80's slasher flicks should give this one a try.

MORTUARY is about murder and occult conspiracy at the titular establishment. Christie and her boyfriend, Greg (Mary McDonough and David Wallace) become involved with the gruesome goings-on while looking for their missing friend. Christie is also being stalked by a cloaked madman!

Christopher George and wife, Lynda Day George (DAY OF THE ANIMALS, PIECES) also star, as the cantankerous mortician and Christie's mum, respectively.

EXTRA POINTS FOR: A young Bill Paxton, on hand as the mortician's weird son, Paul! He's a blast!

WARNING! THIS FILM CONTAINS: #1- Bloody violence with a rather novel weapon! #2- That "thump! thump!" heartbeat sound whenever the killer appears! #3- Pseudo-supernatural cheeeze that has nothing to do with the movie! #4- Inappropriate, after-death / very much alive nudity! On the embalming table! #5- 1980's "preppy" fashions! #6- Near-death by flying tire! #7- Intense "roller boogie" / impromptu disco dancing sequences! #8- An absolutely off-the-rails finale! Annnd, so much more!

Watch immediately!...

Okay so this isn't the greatest film in the world. It's not even the greatest horror film, but fans of Bill Paxton have got to check out this movie. Paxton puts his all into making every one of his characters entertaining and this film is no different. Bill really goes overboard with this character and it's a good thing because otherwise the movie would be pretty boring. My friends and I had to rewind one scene several times we were laughing so hard at Paxton antics. The film does contain a fair amount of suspense but it is "the great" Bill Paxton that makes the movie worth while.