Une défense canon

No amount of alcohol can render this film bearable. I saw Eddie Murphy on Letterman a few years after this dog was released, talking about why he has to be careful with which scripts he accepts. He said, "A few years back I made a film called Best Defense. And it was bad. [looks into camera] REAL bad!"

I actually had a bit part in this film. It was filmed in Israel around 1985 in the desert and I got to work with Eddie Murphy. In one scene I appear (for about 10 seconds)standing in a jeep behind Eddie Murphy's jeep. I only mention this because I told my parents to see the film in the theater. My biggest regret is that they had to pay FULL PRICE to sit through an awful experience. I would not recommend this film to anyone.

On a dull evening at home recently I saw this was showing on ITV2, and I settled down to enjoy what I thought would be a reasonably amusing comedy.

Oh dear.

Peter Cook and Dudley Moore were one of the greatest ever comedy acts. Peter Cook was a hilarious solo act. Dudley Moore was a brilliant musician...but NOT a good solo comedy player.

All Mr Moore's films seem to have him in an ill fitting three piece suit and horrible seventies hairstyle, running manically around hotel corridors and swearing a lot. This film is no exception.

It just didn't have any really funny moments. Mr Murphy (whose scenes were slotted in later) had one or two funny lines but that was about it.

If Saddam Hussein got the idea of invading Iraq from this film, that would be a good reason to ban it!

Even though this film was not entertaining, it is prophetic. This movie predicts that Iraq will invade Kuwait, and that the US will be involved, 7 years before it actually happens.

Perhaps Sadaam got the idea from this movie, and it convinced him that he could win. After all, he did watch CNN.

This is one of those few films from my childhood that made a strong impression on me, mainly for the Eddie Murphy's WAM joke. I remembered it had something to do with a faulty new tank in the Iraq war and US engineers at home desperately trying to make something work in it. Oh the good memories.

But now that I rewatched it, well… Eddie Murphy and the tank take up only 1/5 of the movie, while everything else is dedicated to a poor plot about a looser caught up in a spy novel, later dropped and substituted for poor planning by the ministry of defense.

Besides Murphy tank escapade, only the Russian spy was entertaining to watch, but he only appeared in a couple of scenes. Everything else was a chore to watch. The special effects aren't that impressive. The idiot boss is just intolerably dumb. The portrayal of foreigners were horrid. And I have no idea why the wife and child subplot was even necessary, because you could literally replace them with a sealing fan to resolve the main flaw. Oh… Guess I forgot those parts for a reason.

One of the main problems was the editing of events – the tank was developed after the main plots got resolved, but the movie was spliced like it all was happening simultaneously. Unfortunately that meant that the tank flaws were already resolved, or not, so there was really no suspense.

Let's just say the best parts of the movie were about 5-10 minutes long and I would not have missed anything rewatching it. At some points I even confused Dudley Moore's acting for a Rowan Atkinson impersonation. That confusion kept me more entertained then the actual movie.

At least some of it is good to riff over.