Be Somebody... or Be Somebody's Fool!

"Hey you, you with the teeth"...any film beginning with the incomparable Mr. T addressing you in such a way can safely be deemed a classic. If you haven't yet had the privilege of seeing "Be Somebody", your life is sadly incomplete. "T" solves all of the social ills plaguing, not just the youth of the 80's, but all of mankind in only 52 minutes; can you think of anyone else who could do that? The mere suggestion is "absiludicrous".

Parents, there is no doubt that you want your children to grow up to be somebody. Do them the ultimate favor, show them that you truly love them, and watch this video together as a family. Remember, if you don't, they may wind up being someone's fool.

I have to say that because I am a real fan of this movie, I read through all the comments on it here, just because I am really curious to see what people think of it. Most of the people I've showed it to (and believe me, this tape saw some heavy action during college years at St. John's in Santa Fe; some of you out there may vaguely remember something like that) have really enjoyed it. A lot of people, like myself, seem to be drawn to it as if by some kind of strange drug, so that when it is showing somewhere we will manage to wander in and see it. After seeing it about 50 times, I have begun to wonder whether it has permanently altered my mind, and if that is for the better or worse.

Well, what can I say about it? It's a truly great cult movie with a very small cult -- mostly because it's very hard to find copies of this film on video at present. Someday there'll come along an 80s retro period strong enough to bring this film back into distribution, and on that day -- may the forces of the disrespecting, momma-hating, punks fear because Mr. T will be back to teach them how to behave.

I won't go through all the advice that Mr. T gives in this film -- suffice it to say that Mr. T shows us how to use our anger and imagination to our own advantage and how to make it look like we mean to do everything we do and are always in control, even when we're confused or making horrible mistakes. Reading his autobiography (which was obviously written by Mr. T himself; if you don't believe me pick it up) which came out about the same time as this film has convinced me that he is sincere. He truly lives his life by the words he says and by what he shows in this movie, and if you and I follow it we will all be powerful, independent, individuals and probably rich ones too. We'll ALL "BE SOMEBODY"

This is not a bad film. This is a film of genius.

For those of you who choose to forget, Mr. T was an icon of the 1980s--a tough guy who could act sensitive when he needed to, or when a paycheck depended on it. If you ever watched the A-Team, you'd see his character repeatedly clobbered in the head with lead pipes and he wouldn't flinch; but he also tried to branch out into a strange kind of motivational programming for children, even inspiring a tasteless breakfast cereal. "Be Somebody, or be Somebody's Fool" is one of Mr. T's bizarre efforts to teach little kids how to be better people. Either this show is incredibly bad, or it's just too deep for me to comprehend. The 80s answer to Huggy Bear leads the viewer through a long string of unrelated pearls of wisdom, the values of which are reinforced by small children who can't act. The philosophy of this show really is encapsulated in its title--the watchcries never stray beyond this level of simplicity. This show really is insane--you have to wonder who thought it would be a good idea. Mr. T is no Mr. Rogers; he presents his lessons to children without seeming to care at all. If you can find this tape, it's worth watching just to see how bad children's programming can get. Plus, the hilariously bad rap songs may inspire you to donate something to the "Blacks Without Soul" fund.

Mr. T's Be Somebody or Be Somebody's Foo! Teaches little kids that in order to be somebody, you have to learn how to break dance, wear absoludicrous clothing, make up stories about your hair, and above all respect your mother (all while avoiding peer pressure, and walking through the surf in all your clothes).

Mr. T did not make this movie to help little kids. He made it to prove to little kids that ex bouncers and television personalities are more socially inept than themselves. For example, Mr. T pretends to be a doctor, and forgets to put on pants. What does he do to stop himself from being embarrased? He strips down to red hot pants and works out.

Another example, Mr. T trys to play the cello. First try, he cannot stay in the chair, I repeat, MR. T CANNOT SIT IN A CHAIR.

Mr. T also offers kids advice, such as: Use anger, don't loose it! respect your mother, and if you trip while skipping down the street and you happen to be wearing a jumpsuit, just breakdance, you won't look like an idiot then....

The best part is the Styling part (pronounced stylin). Here the kids give a fashion show, but Mr. T tells them that Calvin Klein wouldn't wear clothes with your name on them so you shouldn't wear his name on your clothes, or something like that. So the kids all tape their own name over the designer label. Anyways, Mr. T. narrates, just like a regular fashion show announcer, who is reading from cue cards. He comes up with some great ones like "Xena and Zena are dressed up for that exciting walk to the grocery store" and "In her mustard socks and ketchup sash, she's a real hot dog" I am not making this up.

This segment single-handedly made 80's fashion so awful. The best part of the segment is Jeff who is about 25 years old, wearing a plaid shirt, suspenders, and pegged jeans who dances around like he's doing a cross between ballet and epilleptic seizures.

Anyways, what have we learned? That Mr. T wants you to be a better person, and you'd better be, or he'll beat you up, or at least throw tato salat at you, foo.

This piece gives us an in-depth look into the philosophy and psyche of this modern-day thinker and performer, Mr. T. The film demands our attention and with repeat viewing the metaphors in his performance become clear. We see Mr.T's struggle for attention and respect mirrored in his struggle with the cello. We see a man of great vunerability trying to gain acceptance with his gold. We see a man searching for his lost child-hood. This is more than a movie. It is a moving experience and one not easily forgotten.