Metalstorm - La tempête d'acier

I, too saw this movie at the theater...this was the week it came out (as well as the week it was pulled off). While visiting relatives in Richmond, VA, of all places, we all went to see this horrible futuristic charade, just so that we can view the closing credits and watch MY name scrolling down on that long list...Yes, I admit to have worked on the special effects with Charly Band (who most probably still owes me the $10.00 I've never received). Regarding this "masterpiece" I agree with the rest of you guys, and as far as the thought of this movie having been made as a spoof, well, it wasn't ! And what about Kelly... Love to work with those Hollywood stars ! In contrast, both Richard and Tim were actually fun to be around, actually. By the way, the film did become a cult item. I would love to see it coming out on DVD, though, as I already own the VHS, too-shrunk-to-wear-cut-off T-shirt, a lovely crew satin jacket and a poster. Gideon.

Dogen (Jeffrey Byron) is a Ranger out to take down Jared-Syn who is breaking the peace and recruiting mutants for his holy war. Dhyana (Kelly Preston) and her father are prospectors. They strike the motherlode but Jared-Syn's son Baal kills her father. Dogen finds Dhyana and they discover the crystals could store lifeforce. They are attacked by Baal. Dhyana is transported and taken prisoner. Jared-Syn is storing lifeforce in his giant crystal. Dogen recruits tired old-timer Rhodes (Tim Thomerson) to find Jared-Syn. They impress Hurok (Richard Moll) and his mutant warriors along the way.

This is pretty bad. Byron has as much charisma as a rock with as much usefulness for the lead actor. Tim Thomerson does a couple of good turns before he gets out of there. It's following Mad Max style in its desert car-chase action B-movie. However it doesn't have the kinetic energy and relies too much on slow motion. The special effects aren't that special. It's also part of the 80s 3D revival which only adds to the cheese factor. This is not good and not bad enough to be fun. The only good part is the memorable look of Baal.

...And I was in it! A friend was a prop person on this steaming pile, and I went out when they were shooting in the desert. It was a night shoot, and I spent a lot of time standing around watching setup and teardown. Then came the Epic Speech Of Jared Syn To His Troops. The director suddenly decides that there are not enough troops, and some flunky comes up and asks me if I want to be in the film. I tell him sure, and soon I'm standing in the back of a crowd with a piece of brown cloth over my shoulders like a poncho and a helmet on my head. And I stood there, and stood there and stood there. Being in the movie was as dull as watching it being made.

Then it came out!!! I had waited for months for "My" movie to come out. Was I ever disappointed! I knew it wasn't "Citizen Kane". But this wasn't even "Warlords of Atlantis"! All of my friends went from "you were in a movie???" to "You were in THAT???????"

Even though I was in it, it is still one of the lowest-rated films on my list. I do admit, however, that I have a warm spot in my heart for this piece of tripe.

Any time you want to just stare in mute amazement at what can be called a film, check it out.

This is another one of those very first movies I ever rented as a kid. It was childish love at first site. Watched it numerous times back then. Is it actually a good movie? I think I'll just plead the 5th on that one.

Having just re-watched it, I'll just say right away: METALSTORM: THE DESTRUCTION OF JARED-SYN is a blast and offers lots of (unintentional) laughs. Just throw the following elements into a blender: Post-Apocalyptic (vehicles & mutants), STAR WARS: RETURN OF THE JEDI (speed-bikers), western (showdown), Swords & Sorcery (quest, fights, and sock-puppet sand-creatures), fantasy (magical crystals and other nonsense), cyborg (or a dude basically enhanced by various metal-parts, including an extendable metal grab-claw arm that spits toxic LSD) and psychedelia (warped gateways into other dimensions). Plus, Tim Thomerson and Richard Moll are in it. This simply is a wonderful film.

Well yes, I'm biased when it comes to early Charles Band outings. This isn't really a good movie (Damn, I did say it, didn't I?), but it's very enjoyable, cheesy & nonsensical stuff. All things I listed up here really are featured in this film, albeit not exactly in quality incarnations, if you know what I mean. And the special effects are dated and look silly sometimes, but there's enough of those in the film to keep you amused. Compared to other early Charles Band films, METALSTORM definitely is a bit crazier and more action-packed than PARASITE (the "good" film) and THE ALCHEMIST (the "lesser" film) and would - in my humble opinion - make a perfect double feature with THE DUNGEONMASTER (aka RAGEWAR), together making up for a super-duper special effects extravaganza night fest. And if you can't get with that, you're a bit of a sourpuss, I'm afraid.

Good, bad, stupid, fun? Who cares! These films were made with enthusiasm. The kind that rubs off. At least on me it does. Blame my rating on nostalgia.

Don't know why, but in the '80s, I watched this film around 17 times, and when in Hollywood, went to the Band brothers' office to tell them they had made a cult masterpiece. They seemed really surprised that anyone liked it. After watching it several times (which you feel compelled to do for some strange reason), you start to get sucked into believing that somehow the film contains some kind of secret. The problem is that I think I needed to watch it at least 17 more times to 'get' the secret, but I could no longer find the film anywhere. Now I'm an adult, with kids, and they have carefully explained to me that I know nothing about films or hidden realities. So, either I'm an idiot for having wasted so much time watching Metal Storm so many times, or my kids should be forced to watch it 17 times so that they can reach the same level of knowledge as their mother.