The Being

"The Being" is a schlocky creature feature made by female director Jackie Kong.I remember seeing her horror comedy "Blood Diner" many years ago and I didn't like it one bit."The Being" is a better horror film which has its share of flaws.A hideous mutant is running rampant in the small town of Pottsville,Idaho.It seems there has been some disposing of nuclear waste in the town dump,thus spawning the bloodthirsty being.There are some neat gore effects in "The Being" including a juicy decapitation and ripped out heart.The monster looks cheesy and the acting is atrocious.Overall,Jackie Kong's debut is a harmless piece of trash that provides some laughts.5 out of 10.

The first thing that struck me when watching this was how on earth the lead actor got the job. He has to be one of the worst I've seen, honestly, he delivers his lines like he's in a school play. Then I found out he's married to the director, who is also the writer. Aside from all that this very much wears its influences on its sleeve, it's mostly 50's style B-movie horror. A monster movie that begs and borrows ideas from its predecessors. It's not very good to be honest, it's badly edited, poorly lit, wastes its location, has weak monster design, and of course the terrible wooden acting from the main character. There's also out of place voice-over moments early one where we hear the lead characters inner thoughts, really odd. Also, we hear a radio broadcast every now and then telling us about a storm that is never actually in the movie, completely pointless. Landau, Ferrer, and Buzzi are actually ok in their supporting roles and ultimately carry the movie. Not surprisingly the director didn't go on to have much of a career, a case of too much imitating over innovating it seems.

This movie tries very hard but reeks of a production that didn't really know what it was doing.

Many times I got the impression something was missing too, whether because of production errors, the poor night lighting or editing, who knows, but narration often has to step in to tell us what's going on, which is always a red flag.

Add to that some giggle inducing deaths plus the final monster reveal being more comedic than scary and you've got the makings of a cult classic.

With some beer and friends it's not your worst choice, certainly it can't be described as boring as the pacing is good.

Worth a look, if you're into that sort of thing.

Okay, "The Being" is probably one of the absolute crappiest and cheesiest low-budget horror productions the 80's decade ever spawned (and that is saying a lot), but who can honestly bring him/herself to slamming it so harshly and even discourage other people to watch it? If nothing else, this film guarantees tremendous fun and it's never boring; not even for half a second. Surely the basic concept is unoriginal, the script is unimaginably incoherent and the acting performances rank among the absolute hammiest we have ever witnessed, but you could pretty much derive all that from one short peek at the DVD-cover, so don't come complaining afterwards! "The Being" is (unintentionally?) hilarious, with insane and totally irrelevant sub plots, unnecessary narrative voice-overs, stereotypical small-town USA rednecks, and grotesque splatter effects. The small town of Pottsville, Idaho (self-acclaimed potato capital of the world, mind you) has an unwelcome new arrival in the shape of a gooey & bloodthirsty mutated monster. He clearly likes cars, as he always hides in them, and he's undeniably the result of years of pollution even though the local scientist openly claims that it's safe to dump toxic waste in the water reservoirs. But Pottsville is dealing with more issues than just the slimy monster. The mayor's wife is on a sole mission to banish all pornography, the potato export business may under no circumstances get in danger, there's a lonely woman wandering around the streets without apparent motives, the deputy is too busy arresting Mexican immigrants who're fishing without a license and the local radio DJ blames all the missing person files on the tornadoes even though I didn't notice the slightest sign of bad whether. At one point, I was even suspecting the DJ to be the monster in disguise, because he seems to know who vanished before they're even reported as missing persons. In case cheesy gore and bad dialogs is what you crave, "The Being" certainly won't disappoint! We're already treated to a fabulous decapitation moment during the first five minutes, and there are several more delightfully gross massacres to enjoy throughout the rest of the film. Martin Landau receives top billing but his role is rather small. Good call, because he clearly wasn't very interested in the lines he had to speak and I suspect he just signed up because he had nothing better to do. Rexx Coltrane – his name makes him sound like a porn actor – is probably the most wooden actor I ever saw and his lack of talent particularly becomes transparent when he tries to convince the mayor something stinks in Pottsville. Honestly, feel free to watch this demented sick puppy in case you're looking for a couple of laughs and a handful of undemanding smut effects. Please do avoid if you have low tolerance for poorly scripted and inane 80's trash movies. "The Being" anonymously remained lying on a shelf for three years before it got released and the same director was also responsible for "Blood Diner" … How's that for bad omens? I guess the term "guilty pleasure" was invented exactly for movies like this.

I actually enjoyed "The Being" for the most part. Obviously it's awful but isn't that the point? The basic plot is a small town in Idaho is victimized by a big, blubbering, wet and greasy, reddish-pink blob with one eye. He kills people at random and a determined detective is going to get to the bottom of it. Martin Landau plays a 'scientist' who is heading up a toxic waste dump research project who tries at first to stand in the detective's way, but then conceded that 'yes in fact, there is a problem in Pottsville...' Along the way we meet some awful actors and actresses and we are treated to many cheeseball performances and some lame killings. We get a nice view of the monster in the end and it actually is a little creepy. One thing we can say about this flick is that it is never really boring, no; it moves along pretty quickly with a decent amount of action.

All in all, I've seen worse, but I've definitely seen better within the genre. The genre of whence I speak being 80's drive-in trash, I mean what do you want?

5 out of 10, kids.