Cover Girl Models

For the most part, I do not like the movies of Cirio H. Santiago, even though they are exploitation movies. Though I love exploitation movies, I find Santiago's exploitation movies to be cheap and dull. To be fair, "Cover Girl Models" is a little slicker and more polished than what you usually get from Santiago. However, he was unable to pull off in the end fooling the audience to thinking the Filipino filming locations were actually Hong Kong locations. He does throw in some ample toplessness from the female cast, which is welcome. And the movie is well photographed, looking very nice on the DVD. But exploitation fans will probably fall asleep before the end because the movie, except for a couple of genuinely exciting kung fu sequences is extremely dull. If you want to see a good Santiago movie, watch "Eye Of The Eagle 3".

"They're fast. They're beautiful. They're deadly. They have to be....to survive". That's the tagline of "Cover Girl Models" on my VHS cover, and based on that and on the names of Cirio H. Santiago and Pat Anderson (who kicked a lot of butt the same year in the same director's "T.N.T Jackson"), I was expecting an action film with tough girls. Disappointingly, there is very little action in this movie and nearly all of it is done by men (yawn). In truth, nothing much happens throughout the film, there are endless filler sequences, the main plot is murky, the various subplots are introduced and then dropped, and even the shootout climax is weak. The girls are infectiously cute and occasionally nude, but neither them nor the exotic locations (Hong Kong and Singapore) can stop the 70-minute running time from feeling more like 2 hours! (*)

When the name of Cirio H. Santiago is listed, you know it'll be bad exploitation trash. If you're lucky it's action-packed and entertaining bad exploitation ("Death Force", Equalizer 2000", "Stryker"), but most of the time - alas - it's just plain bad exploitation; - period ("Demon of Paradise", "Future Hunters", "Vampire Hookers"). Based on my 2/10 rating, it's needless to say "Cover Girl Models" belongs in the plain bad category. There's absolutely nothing remarkable about this dull flick. A photographer takes three beautiful models to Hong Kong for a series of nudie shoots (and that's exactly the footage Santiago uses as filler for about ¾ of the film) and they accidentally become involved in a criminal espionage network. Mary Woronov has a sexy cameo at the beginning and Vic Diaz appears as one of the bad guys, like in every flick ever shot in The Philippines, but nothing helps to make it even remotely interesting. Maybe it was a must-see in the late 70s, because our leading ladies Pat Anderson, Lindsay Bloom, and Tara Strohmeier have luscious curves and show plenty of bare skin, but you can find that all around the internet nowadays.

Though it's competently-made (for the most part), this otherwise tacky action-comedy from producer Roger Corman and New World Pictures is meant to be a sexy T&A spy flick--but neither the T nor the A is very enticing. In a cameo as the leggy editor of Ultra magazine, Corman-mainstay Mary Woronov gives the picture its best five minutes. She sends her photographer to Hong Kong to shoot three girls for the next cover; he's assigned two professional models and another girl of his choosing--a naïve, clumsy fashion assistant with a bad perm. The movie cobbles together stray ingredients--a roll of secret microfilm, a travel agent trained in karate--with fashion shoot montages (in slow-motion!), as well as the three ladies in and out of their clothes. Frankly, I kept waiting for Woronov to fly to Hong Kong to give this turkey a kick in the A. NO STARS from ****

This movie is quite simply horrible.

I only watched it because Mary Woronov was in it. Barely in it.

It's mostly shot overseas -- Singapore. No on can act and the story is just too silly to keep your interest.

Besides Mary, there is another woman, whose name I can't place but whose face is familiar from Grind house flicks of the 70's.

Unfortunately this movie isnt really grindhouse by any standard. It's just a dull exercise in bad acting, bad directing and bad writing.

I'm not familiar with the director but apparently, based on some other reviews, he has a history of making slow tiresome movies.