Zaat

Granted, I wasn't expecting much from this 1971 movie when I sat down to watch in here in 2020. But hey, I hadn't seen it before - nor even heard about it - and so I thought I would sit down to watch it, as it might actually be a good movie.

Well, turns out that the storyline in "Zaat" was rather generic and mundane, offering very little of great entertainment to the audience. The plot was fairly straight forward, for sure, but it just wasn't a particularly compelling or interesting storyline all together. It just amazes me that with four writers, that they couldn't come up with something more wholehearted than what this movie turned out to be.

The acting in the movie was adequate for most parts, aside from the dubious acting in the first part of the movie before the guy turned into the amphibious creature.

For a movie from 1971, then I will say that the special effects weren't all that impressive. Perhaps back in the day they were passable on the screen, but they have not withstood the test of time with grace. The creature design was fairly shoddy, and it was blatantly obvious that it was just a guy in a rubber suit walking and swimming about. And the design of the head for the amphibious creature was just abysmal, it looked horrible and distorted.

No wonder I had never heard about "Zaat" before I got the chance to sit down to watch it, and I hadn't been missing out on a particularly great or outstanding moment in cinema history.

I am rating "Zaat" a mere three out of ten stars, as the movie was watchable, albeit not entertaining. And "Zaat" is not a movie that warrants more than a single viewing, especially since just getting through the first viewing was something of an ordeal in itself.

Mad scientist Dr. Kurt Leopold (Marshall Grauer) uses his special formula, Zaat, to turn himself into a walking catfish (although he looks more like a mutant seahorse to me). After polluting a local pond with Zaat, the lumbering catfish man takes revenge on those who scoffed at his work, and then goes about trying to create a catfish woman to be his mate.

The first fifteen minutes of low budget Floridian monster movie Zaat (AKA The Blood Waters of Dr.Z) are enough to sort the men from the boys: anyone not seriously dedicated to Z-grade trash will surely soon fall by the wayside at the sheer banality of the opening scenes -- underwater wildlife footage with a monotonous voice-over, and tedious shots of scientist Dr. Leopold as he goes about his work. At the quarter-of-an-hour mark, things momentarily pick up when Leopold turns into catfish man (the creature played by Wade Popwell) and goes on the prowl, but it's still far from great, any amusement to be had at the shoddiness of the monster costume quickly wearing off.

The rest of the film is mostly long, drawn out scenes of badly lit and very boring 'action' as the monster roams the countryside and town while the authorities investigate, but, every so often, director Don Barton throws in something so bizarre that one can't help but sit up and take notice. A prime example is the hippie musical interlude in which a group of long-haired layabouts sit and sway while a man sings and plays guitar. The town's sheriff arrives and taps his hand appreciatively, before leading the hippies on a Pied Piper style procession to the town jail, where he locks up the youngsters for their own safety. It's a really weird scene that has zero bearing on the plot -- the hippies are never heard of or seen again.

Another head-scratching moment comes when the creature gets a headache and needs some aspirin (at least I think that is what happens): breaking into a pharmacy, it knocks back some meds (getting a little woozy in the process) and then trashes the place. Again, just a really incongruous scene that serves no real purpose other than to pad out the runtime (not that the film needed padding out, the finished mess clocking in at an excruciating 100 minutes).

Other bits that are notable for their eccentricity include the monster taking time out to draw a picture of sexy blonde INPIT Agent Martha Walsh (Sanna Ringhaver) -- he's actually not a bad artist for a fish -- and an unconvincing shot of a supposedly giant catfish destroying a miniature matchstick model of a fence, the only remnant of a Kaiju-catfish sequence cut from the final film on account of it looking so crap.

To be honest, I probably would have rated Zaat a rather generous 3/10 for chucking in these truly weird moments amid the deathly dull stuff, but the film commits a crime against trash cinema that is unforgivable: sexy Agent Walsh is about to undress when she is interrupted, zipping up her red jumpsuit just as things were getting interesting, and then she takes a shower without any nudity. Just what kind of cheap, exploitative, Z-grade monster movie is this? I'm left no other choice than to deduct a couple of points.

Sargassum, the weed of deceit. Sargassum fish -- mighty hunter of the deep! What an inspiration you have been in my plot! Your life of hiding, waiting... stalking your prey. At just the right moment... ATTACK! [chuckles] I love you. I hope I'll be a good imitator. And my friend, the shark. Cunning, swift... wretched humans, they're afraid of you! I admire you. Soon, I'll swim with you! They'll be afraid! [chuckles] Oh, mighty scorpion, dangerous beast of the ocean with your powerful daggers, and your camouflage... you have little to fear from other fish. [laughs] They think I'm insane! THEY'RE the ones who are insane! Oh, my friends of the deep! This day, this very day, I'll become one of YOU! My family! And together we'll conquer the universe!

Even though I watch a lot of bad movies, it's been awhile since I've seen a plot that made less sense than the one found in Blood Waters of Dr. Z. For reasons known only to him, Dr. Kurt Leopold decides the planet would be a better place if fish were to take over. After a rather lengthy voice-over soliloquy on the subject, he dunks himself into a tank and comes out transformed into some sort of poorly designed would-be fish-creature. With his handy spray bottle filled with I'm not sure what, he sets out on his mission to lead the catfish in a takeover of the Earth. Before you can say "carp", Dr. Leopold's plan seems to be forgotten in favor of finding a mate he can transform into a would-be fish-creature. (Actually, I'm of the opinion that getting laid was Dr. Leopold's goal the whole time. Forget about the nonsense of a master race of fish.) As the bodies start to pile up, old fish-boy soon has some scientists and the local sheriff on his tail. Can they put a stop to Dr. Leopold and his plans for world domination?

Whether you call the movie Blood Waters of Dr. Z or Zaat or ZaAt or Attack of the Swamp Creatures, it really doesn't matter. Crap by any name is still crap. The movie is Grade A bottom-of-the-barrel film-making. As I pointed out, the plot is ridiculous. The technical aspects of the films like lighting, sound, special effects, editing, etc. are beyond bad. The direction is amateurish at best. And as for the acting, I'm not in the least surprised to discover that no one involved ever did anything other than appear in this monstrosity (okay, one guy does have one other credit, but that's it). Quite honestly, my rating of a 2/10 is incredibly generous. I'm sure there's a reason I didn't give Blood Waters of Dr. Z the dreaded 1/10, but sitting here 12 hours after watching the movie, I can't come up with a valid explanation.

One of the comments on IMDb bemoans the fact that the majority of people rating and reviewing Blood Waters of Dr. Z have only seen the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version (that's how I saw it also). The comment states that the real movie has 30 or so minutes edited out by the MST3K crew and the movie shouldn't be judged unless someone has seen the whole thing. Well why in God's name would I want to see 30 more minutes of this trash! The time I've already devoted to Blood Waters of Dr. Z is above and beyond what it deserves. Just be glad more people haven't seen that additional footage as I'm guessing the rating would be even lower if they had.

Crazy scientist living in the Florida swamps turns himself into a monstrous walking fish-man and proceeds to terrorize.

Another drive in low-budgeter that probably would have been more at home in the 1950's rather than the early 70's. It's weird and cheap schlock all the way! The big rubber monster of the film is quite cheesy looking as it teeters around the swamps and struggles to swim in underwater scenes. The zippers of the monster suit are "hidden" by patches of fur. Zaat seems to have all of the hokey B flick trappings - a silly storyline, lackluster acting, crude editing, and a folksy theme song. Also there's a bikini-wearing girl who gets kidnapped by the monster to cap it off.

Now ordinarily such campy qualities might be downright charming to a B horror fan such as myself, unfortunately Zaat is just too roughly-made and ultimately ridiculous for its own good. Not the worst of its kind, it certainly beats the similarly themed 1966 movie Curse of the Swamp Creature, but Zaat leaves much to be desired.

Then again, what other horror film is there where the monster robs a drugstore?

* 1/2 out of ****