Invasion from Inner Earth

The premise for this movie was interesting enough, and there are some very developed characters in it like the TV talk show host, and his two guests. Unfortunately they only have about five minutes of footage. The main characters are believable and the acting competent. So what went wrong? It's almost as if they started making this movie on an interesting idea, but quickly realized that they had no idea where it was going, because by the time the movie concludes, you feel like you were played for a fool, and wished you never wasted your time. It seems like they made up the plot as they were making the movie. I know it requires a certain amount of cognitive dissonance to watch a movie like this, but this one is so awful you can't even enjoy how lousy it is. Here are a group of people in a winter wilderness with nothing but a ham radio to communicate with the outside world, but they start having a debate about what is going on by reading newspaper articles? What the....? Where are they getting this information about a situation that just started?, and in such an isolated place? By the end, if you don't get disgusted enough to just shut it off before then, it has to be one of the most idiotic movie endings you will ever see. It's like it is for some other totally different movie. I won't disclose it, but believe me, you will want to throw the DVD in the trash.

I saw this film on TV about 20 years ago, and while the film was pretty bad, I could not help but notice that in its basic premise was potentially a very powerful idea. There is something about the idea that some huge conflagration is consuming the rest of the human race, but the people in the film are isolated from it, and watch as it happens from far away. Every now and then they make contact with the force that is destroying the rest of the world over their radio, but they are not important enough either to be singled out or to be meaningfully communicated with.

I remember thinking, that's a pretty cool idea. Someone could actually make a good movie out of it. And finally, someone has, the movie SIGNS.

Apparently, after a worldwide search for the perfect script writer, director Bill Rebane happened upon a little known writer named Barbara J. Rebane to pen his vision. Where he discovered her is unknown to me, but the two of them created magic together.

She took two bold steps in this film, one original and one copied later with a much higher budget.

First, she broke the survivor-typecast protocol that most writers would dare not violate. Rather than give longevity to the handsome brooding Native American or the outdoorsy Canadian, she gives the nod to the chunky, bearded, bespectacled cretin in the Sherlock Holmes hat. Under normal circumstances, this type of character would be lighting his own gas in the corner of the room while the others formulate a plan and then meet with an untimely, yet slightly humorous death. Rebane, on the other hand, even gives this guy the girl.

The other place where she unwittingly deserves credit is for utilizing the aliens-under-the-ground scenario for a lot less money than Tom Cruise probably paid for his "War of the Worlds" travesty. I'd be curious to know whether she got a "based on an idea by" or an "inspired by" credit in Cruise's film.

PS - despite the fact that I consider these two areas worthy of compliment, I am in no way recommending anyone actually watch this movie.

Want a movie with no action at all? Here it is, another Bill Rebane (Monster-a-go-go, Giant Spider Invasion), schlock-fest, boring beyond the limits of human tolerance. I'm a big fan of "so-bad-they're good" movies, since they are at least enjoyable on the level of invoking laughter from the unintentional humor; however, this one does not even achieve enjoyable camp status. It just annoys you.

Any "action" in this movie occurs off screen, and is conveyed through non-stop dialog throughout this tedious sleep-inducing dud. People blab on radios, aliens (with booming voices) chit-chat on radios, characters drone on endlessly to each other (without saying much), and on and on it goes. The most "exciting" sequence involved some colorful smoke bombs, with people screaming and running (away from the smoke?). Also, there's a plague (again, we only are told this through the babbling characters). Oh, and there's some irritating, synthesized noises in the soundtrack to tell you that something happens (since it doesn't happen on the screen, like it would in other movies).

There's plenty of ridiculous dialog; here's a sample: when a know-it-all guy theorizes (ready?) that Mars and the Earth were once closer to each other than the Earth and the moon are. The planets were aligned this way for over two thousand years, he lectures. How the five planetary bodies (Earth, its moon, Mars, and its two moons) did not crash into one another due to the immense, mutual gravitation, was not explained in the lecture.

That's about all there is to this, except a bizarre ending reminiscent of another Rebane fiasco, Monster-a-go-go. I don't know if MST3K ever slammed this one; they certainly should have. Even their best salvos might not have saved it, however. This mess deserves a negative rating, but, as you know, IMDb's rules prohibit that; which, in the case of this movie, is a pity.

A couple of people are trapped in a log cabin during an alien invasion of the Earth. They communicate with the unseen aliens and gradually make it back to civilization after much discussion. Every cliche in the book is used, and the low budget assures terrible special effects. Bad all around. Made in someone's back yard in Wisconsin.