Confessions d'un laveur de carreaux

Most Brits will tell you that the "Confessions of" series of the 1970's sex comedies was not nearly as good as the more famous "Carry on" series, but if you're non-British and are more interested in sex and nudity than British humor (which might be an oxymoron) and seeing a lot of middle-aged Ealing Street comedians who you probably won't recognize anyway, the "Confessions of" series is the way to go. The main star here is Robin Askwith who was a dead ringer for Mick Jagger, and who probably logged more on-screen nudity than any male actor in the history of cinema. Here Askwith plays a young man, "Timmy Lea" (his character unfortunately has his own theme song), who lives with his larcenous father, his oblivious mother, his very pregnant older sister, and his philandering brother-in-law. He goes to work for the brother-in-law as a window cleaner, and. . .well, that's basically the plot.

I once worked briefly as a window cleaner, and although I don't really look too much like Mick Jagger, the experience was NOTHING like this. Apparently, a lot of beautiful women in England just wait around all day for the window cleaner to show up, so they can exhibit themselves to him and/or take him to bed. (Of course, it's also possible this movie isn't entirely realistic--hmmmm). Whatever the case, this makes for plenty of opportunity to see a number of naked "dolly birds" including, most notably, Linda Hayden and Katya Wyeth, both of whom appeared in Hammer films and other British movies much better than this one. But be warned also--all of these women put together don't spend as much screen time naked as Askwith himself does.

What I liked about this movie especially though was the end. American sex comedies always have the male protagonist acting irresponsibly promiscuous throughout most of the movie, but then falling in love with the girl of his dreams at the end (this might be called "eating your cake and having it to"). This movie does have a "dream girl" in the form of Linda Hayden (OK, she's more of a "wet dream girl"), but it takes a different turn at the end, which some would call cynical, but I personally found pretty realistic, and sweet as opposed to saccharine. The movie is also genuinely funny in places, not so much in the silly sex scenes, but in the scenes at home with the protagonist's oddball family.

You're probably unlikely to find this movie outside of the UK or Ireland, but it does have some appeal even for non-Brits like myself.

I think this genre of Saucy 70's British film is forever being slated by critics, Yes they are dumb, but they are harmless, the makers of these films did not intend to make groundbreaking cinema, but a funny and saucy alternative to the rest of the films tha country was producing from that era. I say these films are a cult, along with the On the Buses films, and the far more mainstreem Carry On's. I like to watch these films last thing at night, I call them 'bedtime films' you can just switch on after a hard day's graft, and perhaps even switch your brain off to watch them, there is just a fun, cheap thrill element to them, the films have an 18 certificate, due to nudity, but take that away they'd probably be a 'U' due to almost childish humore and very slapstick stuff! When they came out they were probably intended to be sexy, now the hairstyles, the fashions and the women are very funny, although not initially intended to be, these films have got better with age, and hey, I should probably not admit this but I really enjoyed the start of this film with Robin Askwith riding on his bike to a cheesy theme song!

This is the first of the Confessions films based on Timothy Lea's novels and starring Robin Askwith as Timmy. He becomes a window cleaner for his brother in law Sid (Anthony Booth). It seems every job involves some kind of sexual encounter. So, there is a lot of nudity in this film. That being said, it would have been better if it wasn't so infantile. The only character that is worth watching is Timmy's love interest, played by the very pretty Linda Hayden. Considering what came after it (there were even copycat films, as this one was very successful), this film is fairly tame. To me, its the weakest of the Confessions films.

From first fumblings to almost wedded bliss, Confessions of a Window Cleaner follows the sexual exploits of lovable, accident prone youth Timmy Lea (Robin Askwith), who finds there's much more to window cleaning than just being a dab hand with a squeegee.

During the movie's opening credits, a frustrated, virginal Timmy is seen spying on a naked woman in her flat, and on schoolgirls taking a shower (behaviour that would probably secure him a place on the sex offenders register these days). However, it's not long before the cheeky chappie gets some actual hands on experience with the opposite sex (courtesy of a stripper and a randy housewife), and then there's no stopping the bloke: anything in a skirt seems to find him sexually irresistible and, being a considerate fellow, he's only too keen to oblige.

Although frequent casual sex with busty nymphomaniacs is undoubtedly fun, Timmy actually yearns for the one woman who doesn't drop her knickers the instant she claps eyes on him: pretty policewoman Elizabeth Radlett (the lovely Linda Hayden). After doing almost everything to loosen Liz's knicker elastic, our denim-clad hero tries the only trick left in the book: he proposes marriage!

With most of its humour derived from moments of dubious morality—a large percentage of the film's comedy revolves around infidelity and promiscuity—Confessions of a Window Cleaner is not one for the 'politically correct brigade'; on the other hand, those who enjoy bawdy comedy littered with softcore sex and innuendo should love this film to bits. There are loads of good looking dolly birds all too willing to flash the goods, some genuinely witty lines of dialogue ("I won't say 'au revoir', 'cos i'll see you again later", says Shiela White as Rosie Nogget), and plenty of faces that should be familiar to fans of British TV: it's all so very silly and so very 70s that it's hard not to enjoy.

Despite preconceptions, it's not vulgar, coarse or offensive. If you can accept the fact that it's actually meant to be cheap tacky rubbish you might find this mildly entertaining.

Robin Askwith gave hope to every clueless, ugly spotty teenager that had no idea whatsoever about girls. He showed that even the most hopeless case could have countless sexual adventures.....just by becoming a window cleaner. George Formby never extolled the perks of this career like this!

You know that as soon as each sexy girl first makes her appearance, within three to four minutes she'll have lost her clothes and a minute later will be getting physical with young Mr Askwith. Yes, it is super-tacky but since it's all done for laughs it's not what you could call dirty or smutty. You wouldn't call it tasteful but it's a lot more innocent than you think.

Another thing this isn't is funny. Even if you were a 17 lad in 1974 you probably wouldn't have laughed either but it is watchable and once you've started watching it, you'll want to stick with it until the end....and not just because of the promise of more naked ladies!