Ongles rouges et cuisses d'acier

I stumbled upon the 1973 movie "Wonder Women" by random chance here in 2024. Even with it being a movie that is two years older than me, then I didn't hesitate to sit down and watch the movie. I had never heard about it, nor did I know about it existing, so I had no idea what I was in for here.

In that sense, then writers Lou Whitehill and Robert Vincent O'Neil, with the latter also directing the movie, had every opportunity to entertain me with their 1973 movie. I had zero expectations to the movie when I sat down to watch it.

The movie started out with a hilarious death scene of a security guard, where the actor just over-did the dying. It had me laughing so hard. And with that we were off to a glorious early 1970s foray of crime action.

The script was adequate, though a bit on the cheesy and campy side. I suppose it was that particular 1970s flavor to the movie. That being said, I am not saying that "Wonder Women" is a bad movie, because it definitely was a watchable movie, and entertaining enough for what it turned out to be. Though you must have a certain degree of interest in movies of this particular genre and era to fully enjoy the movie from director Robert Vincent O'Neil.

I was surprised to find the likes of Ross Hagen and Sid Haig on the cast list. They were, in fact, the only two performers that I were familiar with on the cast list. The acting performances in the movie were good, taking everything into consideration.

All in all, a fair enough movie that proved entertaining for a single viewing.

My rating of "Wonder Women" lands on a five out of ten stars.

American insurance agent Mike Harber (Ross Hagen) is hot on the trail of missing athletes and musicians, and finds the answer in the Phillipine jungle lair of the cold but brilliant Dr Su (Nancy Kwan). With her squad of multi-racial superchicks, she sells the body parts to aging millionaires, but all hell breaks loose when her failed mutation experiments escape from the dungeons. Whacko Filipino actioner is more over-the- top than most of its breed, an insane mix of Doll Squad and Island Of Dr Moreau, which opens with a cheesy montage of the five superchicks in action, complete with big afros and fur bikinis. All your favourite Filipino comedy-relief regulars are here - chubby Vic Diaz plays the cycle-cab driver, and Sid Haig (with hair!) is Dr Su's accountant. Hagen was also producer, and in recent years appeared in Fred Olen Ray films with his other skidrow contemporaries. Once-popular Chinese-American actress Kwan had faded into obscurity by the late 60s, and was last seen on Australian TV advertising pearl cream.

Dr. Tsu (Nancy Kwan) has set up a secret research facility on an island where she has mastered various transplant techniques. She boasts she can transplant any part of the body - yes, that's right, ANY part. For a hefty sum of money, she offers the wealthy a chance for immortality by placing their brains into the body of a young, virile athlete. Her island fortress is guarded by an army of beautiful, but deadly women who also work to procure the doctor her healthy subjects. Her latest acquisition, a local jai-alai player, unwittingly draws the interest of an insurance investigator from Lloyd's of London who had a policy on the young man. In turn, he hires former CIA agent Mike Harber (Ross Hagen) to investigate. Before you can say "Ross Hagen produced this thing so you know he's going to come out looking good in the end", Harber is taken prisoner by Dr. Tsu and given the long, overly drawn out explanation of her work and her plans. In the end, Harber's powers of seduction have been enough to turn one of the women against Dr. Tsu and he escapes with the jai-alai player. The end.

What a wild piece of 70s trash! While not good in any traditional sense, that's never stopped me from enjoying a movie. There are, however, three things you ought to know before watching The Deadly and the Beautiful (or Wonder Women as it's sometimes known): it's a cheaply made Filipino film, it's got a gaggle of scantily clad beauties, and it was produced by and stars Ross Hagen. The cheap/Filipino thing doesn't really bother me. It's probably part of what makes the movie so unique. And you've just got to love the 70s porn-inspired soundtrack. Too funny. The gaggle of scantily clad beauties - I'm not going to complain about that either. Though I must admit I did laugh out loud watching the army of women with every weapon imaginable set out into the jungle wearing what amounted to the most inappropriately imaginable short chiffon mini-nightgowns. I don't think nighties are standard issue for any other army in the world. And their style of hand-to-hand combat must be seen to be believed. I've heard of all sorts of styles or martial arts fighting, but nothing quite describes the gyrations performed by Roberta Collins. Finally, I'm left with Ross Hagen. The man just has a way of turning my stomach. He reminds me a bit of a B-movie version of Chad Everett with none of the acting ability. He spends the entire movie either looking half-asleep and disinterested or ogling the women he's supposed to be fighting. There is one brief scene with Hagen that's an absolute scream. He's following the Dr. Tsu down a staircase in what can only be described as full-on flounce mode. You know, ridiculous expression on his face, arms bent at the elbow and wrist, and legs doing sort of a trot - looks a bit like he's auditioning for a part in the Village People. Too funny. And then there's the scene where Ross gets to do something called "brain sex" with Nancy Kwan. Just about lost my lunch watching Ross' faux-orgasmic squirm on that vinyl seat. Yuck!

Oh yes, as for the movie - it is what it is - a cheap piece of 70s exploitation junk that's worth a watch if you're into that sort of thing. For me, I had a great time with it. It was also cool to see Sid Haig in a different sort of role (I just realized that I have no idea what happened to his character). For all the wrong reasons, I'll give The Deadly and the Beautiful a 7/10.

A multi-racial gang of ladies with skimpy clothes, big hair and bigger guns is running amok in Manila - kidnapping athletes and skinny-dippers left, right and centre. When they nick a Jai Alai player, hero Mike Harber (Hagen) is called in. Hooked up with a sidekick jeepney driver (denim-clad Vic Diaz), Harber winds up on the island lair of transplant artiste Dr Tsu (Nancy Kwan). "Her genius and her talent transcends the question of human morality," says her debonair sales manager (Sid Haig) and Tsu's brain transplant techniques and stock of body parts are the key to longevity. With a labload of flashing, bipping and swirling things, brain sex, a high-speed downtown jeepney chase and an army of Filipino warrior gals enthusiastically belting the crap out of people, Wonder Women is a load of fun. And that's before Dr Tsu's mutant test subjects escape their cells! The ending - Harber, a blonde and another all-female hit squad - is a reminder that Ross Hagen was the producer of this manic actioner.

This spy satire, in which a nasty female "Dr. No" (Nancy Kwan) trains a number of women assassins to go out and win the world for her, is rather inane entertainment. However, having seen dozens like it, with better heroes than Ross Hagen, there are so many vivid scenes in my mind that it must be better than most! Cinematography and direction were certainly above medium, and Marilyn Joi and Maria de Aragon are wonderful bad girls.