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Merci d'avoir été ma femme...

Original title: Starting Over
  • 1979
  • Tous publics
  • 1h 45m
IMDb RATING
6.4/10
3.5K
YOUR RATING
Merci d'avoir été ma femme... (1979)
Starting Over: Why Didn't You Throw These Away?
Play clip1:13
Watch Starting Over: Why Didn't You Throw These Away?
1 Video
38 Photos
Romantic ComedyComedyRomance

A divorced man falls in love, but somehow he can't get over his ex-wife. This affects his love life in comic ways. Based on Dan Wakefield's novel.A divorced man falls in love, but somehow he can't get over his ex-wife. This affects his love life in comic ways. Based on Dan Wakefield's novel.A divorced man falls in love, but somehow he can't get over his ex-wife. This affects his love life in comic ways. Based on Dan Wakefield's novel.

  • Director
    • Alan J. Pakula
  • Writers
    • Dan Wakefield
    • James L. Brooks
  • Stars
    • Burt Reynolds
    • Jill Clayburgh
    • Candice Bergen
  • See production info at IMDbPro
  • IMDb RATING
    6.4/10
    3.5K
    YOUR RATING
    • Director
      • Alan J. Pakula
    • Writers
      • Dan Wakefield
      • James L. Brooks
    • Stars
      • Burt Reynolds
      • Jill Clayburgh
      • Candice Bergen
    • 45User reviews
    • 28Critic reviews
    • 64Metascore
  • See production info at IMDbPro
    • Nominated for 2 Oscars
      • 7 nominations total

    Videos1

    Starting Over: Why Didn't You Throw These Away?
    Clip 1:13
    Starting Over: Why Didn't You Throw These Away?

    Photos38

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    Top cast54

    Edit
    Burt Reynolds
    Burt Reynolds
    • Phil Potter
    Jill Clayburgh
    Jill Clayburgh
    • Marilyn Holmberg
    Candice Bergen
    Candice Bergen
    • Jessica Potter
    Charles Durning
    Charles Durning
    • Michael (Mickey) Potter
    Frances Sternhagen
    Frances Sternhagen
    • Marva Potter
    Austin Pendleton
    Austin Pendleton
    • Paul
    Mary Kay Place
    Mary Kay Place
    • Marie
    MacIntyre Dixon
    MacIntyre Dixon
    • Dan Ryan
    Jay O. Sanders
    Jay O. Sanders
    • Larry
    • (as Jay Sanders)
    Charles Kimbrough
    Charles Kimbrough
    • Salesman
    Richard Whiting
    • Everett
    Alfie Wise
    Alfie Wise
    • Workshop Member
    Wallace Shawn
    Wallace Shawn
    • Workshop Member
    Sturgis Warner
    Sturgis Warner
    • John Morganson
    Mary Catherine Wright
    • Student 1
    • (as Mary C. Wright)
    Daniel Stern
    Daniel Stern
    • Student 2
    George Hirsch
    • Student 3
    Ian Martin
    Ian Martin
    • Doorman
    • Director
      • Alan J. Pakula
    • Writers
      • Dan Wakefield
      • James L. Brooks
    • All cast & crew
    • Production, box office & more at IMDbPro

    User reviews45

    6.43.4K
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    Featured reviews

    barbarella70

    Burt's best!

    Exceptionally funny and moving romantic comedy from Alan J. Pakula (Klute, All the President's Men) is a lost late '70's classic! Burt plays Phil Potter, a married every-man who's dumped by his self-consumed wife (Candice Bergen) only to stumble into love with an insecure school teacher (Jill Clayburgh).

    Basically it sounds like An Unmarried Woman for men but Starting Over is its own film made with a gentle touch courtesy of Pakula and writer James L. Brooks and features some outstanding performances: Burt Reynolds -displaying vast amounts of charm and sex appeal- can be so beautifully restrained and sensitive (Deliverance, Boogie Nights) but then quickly turn and flash that devil's grin and deliver a line with a comic timing that's pure genius. He's amazing here and Phil is his best creation. Candice Bergen was sensational in Carnal Knowledge but her shallow Jessica is invested with a played-to-the-hilt quality and she shows a hilarious narcissiscm that wouldn't be seen again until Murphy Brown. (See if you can get her delightfully out-of-tune vocal rendition of Better than Evah out of your head after you've watched this!) Jill Clayburgh never found another part like Erica in An Unmarried Woman but then again she really didn't need to and her Marilyn is a slightly high-strung but charmingly shy wallflower and she plays off Reynolds perfectly; the two of them carry Starting Over to its finish with great style.

    Starting Over is one of those movies that people vaguely remember and you almost never come across while channel surfing. (It's not even available on DVD and most video stores don't even have a copy of the VHS tape!) It's a shame it's not more available because it has an honest, acutely observational intelligence going for it and feels like a romantic comedy made for people who don't like romantic comedies. It's a great movie!
    XRANDY

    Now this is what a "romantic comedy" should be like

    Man, what a difference 20 years or so makes! I'm not sure when I saw this movie, but since it came out in 1979, and I saw it on TV (probably cable at my brother's house)-it was surely in the early 80s. I couldn't remember the movie very well (though I do distinctly remember Burt Reynolds taking the polaroids of Jill Clayburgh in the shower, and her laughing at the tall basketball player) but I knew that I thought it was funny. In fact it was funny enough to go on my short list of movies to watch again soon (you know that one that you never seem to get to). Well imagine my surprise when I saw this video in the bargain-bin of the video store here on the U.S. Army base in Yongsan Korea for two bucks!

    Well I liked the movie back then, but I watched it with totally different eyes as a 37 year-old man. It was still funny, but in a much more relative way. Back then I thought Reynold's antics were charming, now I see them as irrepressible. I'm sure I thought Clayburgh's character was a little strange back then, now I see her as vulnerable and true.

    This is a very good movie with numerous scenes that are funny and touching. In an industry flooded with banal romantic-comedies this should set the mark.
    8shark-43

    Well Made Comedy

    This well made adaptation of Dan Wakefield's novel has wonderful comic moments and full-bodied performances. Burt Reynolds underplays his role and does some of the finest work of his roller-coaster career (it's up there with "Boogie Nights" and "Deliverance"). Candice Bergen is hysterical in the role of the wife who wants freedom and a singing career. (Little did we know in 1979 that Bergen would go onto great comedic success as Murphy Brown)James L. Brooks does a terrific job with the screenplay - the divorced men's group scenes really ring true and the moment when they have to leave their community center space so the women's divorce group can then use the room is uncomfortable and very funny. In my opinion, Clayburgh gives an up and down performance, sometimes really connecting with Reynolds and other times she just seems to be impersonating Diane Keaton. Fine supporting work by the always reliable Charles Durning and Austin Pendleton. This film is very hard to find in video stores for some reason. I just happned to catch it again on cable and was pleasantly surprised with how well it holds up.
    8chconnol

    Adult Romantic Comedy

    "Starting Over" works very well because it's a film made for and by adults. And it's got some very funny moments.

    Yes, it's got all the trappings of a typical "ROMCOM" but back in 1979, the ROMCOM formula had not developed into the hackneyed, tiresome concept that it became. By the late 90's, the style that "Starting Over" began seems to have expired (it arguably reached it's zenith circa 1994 with "Sleeping in Seattle". Whether one liked that movie or not, all the trappings of the stylized ROMCOM formula were firmly and grossly used in that one.) But I digress.

    "Starting Over" works so well because of Pakula's typical very low keyed direction which allows James L. Brooks' screenplay to shine. But this film would be nothing without the cast. Clayburgh is fine but of the three leads, she's the least appealing. Don't get me wrong. She's an engaging presence in the film and it's quite understandable why Reynolds is attracted to her (except for a shower scene in which, to me, she over reacts). The hands down winners in this film are Reynolds and especially Bergen. Bergen tapped into a completely unexpected flair for comedy as a royally flaky song writing ex-wife of Reynolds. She's a gas especially in an hysterical scene when she begins singing a disco ditty ("Better Than Ever") in a hotel room while trying to reconcile with Reynolds.

    Reynolds is a complete revelation. Gone is his trademark mustache and cockiness and it works to marvelous effect. He's mature, low key and completely likable. It would've been so easy for Reynolds to play down the part to the point where he appears to be sleepwalking (ala William Hurt in "The Accidental Tourist"). But here, though he's depressed, he's also alive. He's just a guy going through something that he wishes he didn't have to. He loves/likes his ex-wife and can't understand why he's the odd man out.

    From a plot and structural standpoint, "Starting Over" isn't much. It's setup and resolution are standard and completely unremarkable. Aside from the wonderful cast and good writing, the film is photographed beautifully by Sven Nyquist. This Swede (who was Ingmar Bergman's chief Director of Photography) knows how to film chilly northern environments and he gives Boston in winter an appealing glow.
    7tomodell

    Nice realistic comedy

    This is a nice movie, that depicts a man's difficult time coping with a divorce from a woman he still cares about and falling in love with another woman at the same time. Most critics have said this is Burt Reynolds finest performance. It has some very touching moments that we could all relate to, and there are some very funny moments as well.

    Jill Clayburgh is perfect as a normal, not so young, woman that you could run across anywhere. If this movie was made today, they would have cast a gorgeous 18 year old, with big lips that couldn't act.

    Candice Bergen, who is gorgeous, steals the show, with a hilarious scene involving her singing. The movie has aged some, and as a previous writer said, "would never be made today." But for me, that statement is complimentary to this movie.

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    Related interests

    Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal in Quand Harry rencontre Sally... (1989)
    Romantic Comedy
    Will Ferrell in Présentateur vedette: La légende de Ron Burgundy (2004)
    Comedy
    Ingrid Bergman and Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca (1942)
    Romance

    Storyline

    Edit

    Did you know

    Edit
    • Trivia
      Originally director Alan J. Pakula did not want Burt Reynolds for the Phil Potter part, feeling he was not the right type: he wanted a New York-trained actor along the lines of Al Pacino or Dustin Hoffman. But Reynolds lobbied hard for the role, and Pakula finally let him audition. After two auditions, Reynolds had the role, and Pakula subsequently has praised his work in the film.
    • Goofs
      During an outdoor grade school carnival, bathing suit-clad Marilyn participates in a dunk tank concession in the dead of a Boston winter. In reality, she would freeze.
    • Quotes

      Michael Potter: [to crowd observing Phil's anxiety attack] Anybody have a Valium?

      [everyone in crowd reaches into purses and pockets]

    • Connections
      Featured in Sneak Previews: 10/When a Stranger Calls/Starting Over/Apocalypse Now (1979)
    • Soundtracks
      Better Than Ever
      Music by Marvin Hamlisch

      Lyrics by Carole Bayer Sager

      Sung by Candice Bergen

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    FAQ18

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    Details

    Edit
    • Release date
      • May 7, 1980 (France)
    • Country of origin
      • United States
    • Language
      • English
    • Also known as
      • Starting Over
    • Filming locations
      • Boston, Massachusetts, USA
    • Production companies
      • Paramount Pictures
      • Century Associates
    • See more company credits at IMDbPro

    Box office

    Edit
    • Gross US & Canada
      • $35,649,012
    • Gross worldwide
      • $35,649,012
    See detailed box office info on IMDbPro

    Tech specs

    Edit
    • Runtime
      • 1h 45m(105 min)
    • Color
      • Color
    • Sound mix
      • Mono
    • Aspect ratio
      • 1.85 : 1

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