Starcrash : Le Choc des étoiles

This is probably one of the best/worse movies I've ever seen, and I've been so much looking forward to its official release on DVD... Well at last that's it! Starcrash is available on DVD Region 2 in France! I certainly pray for a French dub option, as it makes the movie even more cheesy than it is! I'm certainly looking forward to seeing it again, as my VHS copy is so used now that it's not correctly read by my VCR. I wonder if it's going to be released in other countries. However, Starcrash is still brilliant... Just to see Christopher Plummer wondering during the whole movie what he's doing and why he accepted the part, know about his fantastic power as the Emperor of the Universe, to stop time for five minutes only, and see David Hasselhoff in one of his first movies ever... Of course, seeing the wonderful Carolin Munroe in a Barbarella-like part is also great fun!

When "Star Crash" appeared in the U.S., my local newspaper's film critic noted: "...You have to be suspicious of a movie that literally sneaks into town...". That remark left me curious, but not curious enough; after just one week "Star Crash" had left town as quietly as it had come in. Why would any movie get so little push from its' distributor, I wondered? Could it really be that bad? It took me years to find out. Some dozen or so years later, a friend of mine told me he had a copy...well, I couldn't pass this up. After seeing it, I decided that the critics were right--and wrong. Such a hoot! Caroline Munro definitely set the mood in her almost-not-there "space-kini" and high-heeled boots, with Marjoe Gortner pulling backup as 2nd banana. Cheesy special FX, a painfully earnest performance by Christopher Plummer (you can practically see him wondering if his paycheck will clear the bank when he's finished), and a surprisingly good score ( hey, it's John Barry, what did you expect?)make this a pleasant surprise, as long as you're not expecting anything on par with E.E. "Doc" Smith, etc. A small note: I got to meet Ms. Munro at an SF convention back in '82, and I totally agree with Harlan Ellison...she was so gorgeous in person that "they had to ugly her down, so that the cameras wouldn't melt during filming!"....Though I forgot to ask her if it was true that only copy of the shooting script had been stolen by members of Italy's Red Brigade terrorists and held for ransom! Ah, rumors...anyway, try and catch it for free and you won't feel cheated.

Starcrash is a movie that gets its name from... the very last few minutes of the film, where the name is casually dropped in a conversation, never to be uttered again or its origin explained. The entire plot is Caroline Munro running around in a bathing suit and having completely inappropriate facial expressions. The rest is chaos: a villain taken straight from children's stories, a benevolent emperor played by Christopher Plummer and his son: David Hasselhoff, a mysterious companion who is basically the Deus ex Machina needed to resolve some scenes and a robot with an American South accent that gleefully declares his chauvinism, regardless of him not having a nation or a gender. The acting is so bad it's hilarious, the effects are so special that psychiatric wards come to mind. All in all, ridiculous at all levels.

Some people say it is a ripoff of Star Wars, but I don't see it. There is no story to talk of. The only commonality seems to be a lightsaber that ... just is, with no explanation. I would like to say that Caroline is so sexy that watching the movie is worth it, but really, if you are not drunk out of your mind you can't possibly enjoy this film at its true potential. Just saying.

This cheap "Star Wars" ripoff presents some of the worst and most ridiculous special effects ever made. It also delivers dumb dialogue that will make you laugh yourself into the next dimension. And, above all, the cast includes Marjoe Gortner, Caroline Munro (wearing a bikini on every planet), David Hasselhoff, Christopher Plummer and the great late Joe Spinell. Everybody is outrageously overacting (except for Plummer, who is outrageously underacting). But the movie never becomes boring, there is always happening something more or less stupid, so you'll always be entertained. "Starcrash" is a real party tape that can be enjoyed best with mates and enough beer, chips and popcorn. Don't miss this utterly cheesy movie: It's so dumb that you have to love it!

In the same vein as Jason of Star Command and Flesh Gordon, Starcrash is a campy, fun throwback to the old serials of the 30s and 40s. It looks, feels, and tastes like an old serial, minus the chapters. Yep, it is a cheesey attempt to cash in on the great sci-fi craze of the late 70s, fueled by the likes of syndicated Star Trek reruns, Logan's Run, Close Encounters, Space: 1999, and ESPECIALLY Star Wars, of course. It is guilty as charged. That said, it is an absoloute low-budget blast. For detractors, here's your first clue that this film is not to be taken seriously: A robot with a long, southern drawl. L the cowardly robot is a riot!

Starcrash shamelessly pilfers elements from Invaders from Mars (1953) (a brief appearance by an alien judicial judge), Ray Harryhausen films (a couple of model animated aliens & robots), and Star Wars (a lightsaber duel), not to mention the old serials.

The whole thing never stops to catch its breath, and neither does the viewer, overwhelmed by alternately cheesey and surprisingly good special fx and generally porn-level acting and dialogue. One minute Stella and L are battling Amazons, the next L is gunning it out with troglodytes, and the next Akton is having a lightsaber duel with those model-animated robots. There are psychadelic images and scenes, almost worthy of the equally bizarre Barbarella. And along the way are allusions to classic sf authors Edmond Hamilton, Murray Leinster, and Ray Bradbury.

For the b-movie or old time serial lover, or someone who doesn't mind some campy lightweight space opera, Starcrash really can't be topped.