The Dark

The first smartest being Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Contrary to what other commenters say, this was not supposed to be a quasi sci-fi horror entry until AFTER initial screenings were sour. Then the producers decided to cash in on the ALIEN bonanza by adding prologue and epilogue and the laser-beam eye blasts. Devane was excited thinking he'd be working with Hooper, but with Hooper's leaving, he barely walks through the motions, Cathy Lee is only a little better. Wynn and Jaekal do well to hold things together, and John Bloom is perfectly cast once again as the lumbering creature. The best thing to be said about this is that it looks, sounds and feels like a 1970s ABC TV movie of the week, and why not? Just look at who wrote it and what else he has written. If you watch it thinking that it should have been made for TV, it's more enjoyable because your expectations might not be too high, and it comes off as fairly average. Actually, replace Devane with Darren McGavin, Wynn with Simon Oakland, make KFVI a newspaper, keep Richard Jaekal as Kolchak's nemesis, add a lot of Kolchak wit and cut it down to 50 minutes, and it's a good Night Stalker teleplay. Of course, don't forget the funky horns that announce Kolchak on the go.

An alien lands in Los Angeles and proceeds to decapitate humans using its laser-beam eyes.

A change of director mid-production (Tobe 'Texas Chain Saw Massacre' Hooper replaced by John 'Bud' Cardos) and a last-minute alteration to the plot (the original script's zombie replaced by a nasty extraterrestrial) undoubtedly contributed to The Dark's failure as an effective horror movie. But the worst thing about the film is the fact that it more than lives up to its title by being extremely dark, making it a real strain on the eyes throughout.

It's a shame, because there's a fun film in there trying to get out: Cardos isn't a 'great' director, but he's more than capable of delivering an entertaining B-movie as evidenced by his Kingdom of the Spiders and Mutant. The cast is also pretty good for this kind of fare, with William Devane and Cathy Lee Crosby making affable leads, and Richard Jaeckel suitably stoic as the beleaguered cop on the case Det. Dave Mooney. Also surprisingly good is Roger Kellaway's soundtrack, with dischordant music and eerie whispering voices providing plenty of atmosphere.

4.5 out of 10, rounded up to 5 for the pew pew alien eyeball police massacre at the end.

The Dark (1979)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

A former convict turned reporter (William Devane) sees that his daughter has been brutally mutilated so he sets out to try and find the killer as does a detective (Richard Jaeckel) working the case. It turns out that a space alien has landing on Earth and is doing the brutal murders.

THE DARK has an interesting production history that is actually a lot more interesting than the film itself. Originally Tobe Hooper was to direct this film and he got several days into the production when he either quite or got fired. The somewhat notorious John 'Bud' Cardos took over the production and the end result is a rather tame sci-fi picture that's biggest problem is the fact that it lives up to the title.

I say that because this film was shot way too dark and often times you can't even tell what's going on. I mean, I'm all for movies keeping the monster in shadows and what not but the problem here is that whenever the alien goes on the attack it's so dark that you can't see anything. Or, at least, you can't see anything too clear. The other big problem with the picture is the fact that it drags so slowly that the 90-minute running time seems double that. There are non-stop scenes of people talking and fighting yet none of it is very entertaining.

It's really too bad that the film is so lame and doesn't feature that good of an alien or gore effects because the cast is actually pretty good. Devane is always worth watching and he turns in a nice performance here. Jaeckel is also very good in his role as is Jacquelyn Hyde and Keenan Wynn in their small roles. You can also look quick for Casey Kasem and Vivian Blaine. Who knows what might have happened with the film had Hooper stayed on but as it stands, THE DARK isn't a very good movie and it's not nearly the best "alien run amok" movies from this period.

I was handed this 'golden garbage' DVD for my birthday (Moe!) and all I can say is paybacks are a bitch. The Dark definitely belongs in the "Plan 9 from outer space" category. If you seek serious horror then avoid this like a Chris Tucker 'movie'. However, if failed attempts of the past make you howl with laughter than look no further than this turkey. Failing test screenings as a zombie movie it was reworked into an alien menace movie with hilarious results.

It all starts with an apology (or prologue if you prefer) that attempts to convince the audience that if electric eels can shock than who knows what's out in space(!?) This amounts to freeze framing the 'zombie movie' and superimposing laser bolts from the creature's eyes and an explosion onto the victim. That's great but the characters solving the crimes keep describing horrible mutilations (!?) I would say the acting is terrible but the lines they are given to say are horrendous. We never actually see a spaceship so 'it' apparently fell to earth on it's own. I'm dying to know how and why it's dressed like a mailman (or a factory worker in his coat sans the lunch box). The addition of a mysterious psychic (?) that shows up at inexplicable times means you know your in beer-cinema country.

Take it or leave it. I'm already stuck with my copy.

There's a creature. It kills people. Then the film ends.

Yup.

This is one of those movies that makes absolutely no impression on the mind. People talk to each other, occasionally there's a killing of some sort, people talk some more, then it all wraps up without the slightest interesting event occurring. William Devane is wasted in his role, he's excellent at playing sinister characters in other contexts, but here he's squandered.

I'm honestly unsure why this movie exists. It might be the biggest "sci-fi horror" film that doesn't have a single reason to exist. It says nothing. Nothing happens. It accomplishes nothing. Nothing nothing nothing.

The end.