The Clonus Horror

"parts: the clonus horror" (the title uses only lower-case letters) stars Tim Donnelly as The Guy Who Played "Chet" in "Emergency", Dick Sargent as The Second Guy Who Played Darrin in "Bewitched", Paulette Breen as The Girl Who Kept Her Nose to the Grindstone, Kenan Wynn as The Grouchy Guy with the Really Really Big Scratchy Voice, and, of course, Peter "Biography" Graves.

With a cast like that, how can you fail?

Actually, although MST3K made this movie the butt of one of their funniest episodes (and make no mistake, their riffing on this movie was hilarious), I really can't say this film is that bad. The plot was interesting, with a fair number of twists and turns, and premise was fairly novel, and the acting was pretty good. (Could anyone look more completely bummed out than Emergency's Chet did throughout this movie?) The clones' vapid stupidity is consistent with the plotline, and Peter Graves projects just the right kind of blandness that you just know covers up a whole lot of evil underneath.

One thing bothers me, though; who was that really creepy looking guy with the eyepatch who appeared toward the end of the movie?

I have seen this movie a bunch of times. I like the idea of a movie about a colony of clones being used for spare parts. The cloning and what it was used for make this a good Science Fiction movie. The innocence of the clones in contrast to what they are being used for is tragic. The story of what one of the clones does when he finds out this terrible secret kept me interested until the conclusion. Some of the characters are silly and strange but it never really gets in the way of the story.

The beginning of this movie had me doubting that it would be little more than a typical B sci-fi flick. But, as it progressed I began to get interested and I saw the whole thing through. The premise is interesting, original, and has the makings of making a classic. Alas, it instead ended up a mediocre movie, done in by the usual factors which turn a potentially good movie into a bad movie (bad acting, low budget etc.). I'm interested to see how this would turn out if it were remade with good actors and a big hollywood budget.

All the young adults live in the sort of summer-camp existence that we have come to associate with the rich in 'evil future' movies. They seem naive and rather incurious, although there is talk about America. Then one of them finds an empty beer can in the river, and is sent to America, where he gradually comes to realize what the audience has known since it saw the title: he is a clone and all is not well.

It's a foolish and obvious sort of story, but I think the five guys, credited and uncredited, who produced this did a great job. It cost less than a million dollars to get in the can, and has some actual actors who charge actual money for their appearances in it: Peter Graves; Dick Sargent; and Keenan Wynn. True, none of them were hot commodities at the time, and I doubt any of them spent more than one day shooting their roles, but neither can I see any of them needing the work.

I'm sure it didn't put many extra patrons in the theater. I suspect the producers wanted these guys, talked them into it, and paid them their day rates, and everyone went home. The result is not particularly distinguished, but I didn't start watching this thinking it would be.

The average 2.1 rating tells me that most of the people who rated this movie have only seen the Mystery Science Theater version. True, it was a poorly executed low budget 70s horror film but it had a good plot; good enough to be remade as THE ISLAND (2005).

As a 70s horror flick it is obviously violent and cheesy, but the unique plot, involving a secret clone factory, by itself keeps one's interest. In better hands it could have been a good movie, and THE ISLAND is, in fact, a good uncredited remake of this one. Consequently, the movie has historical interest, particularly considering that cloning as a reality was still many decades off back then.

The directing is obviously mediocre. The violence was designed for shock (although it is still tame compared to a Tarantino movie or even a lot of mainstream action or horror flicks of this generation). I cannot openly recommend the movie but do deny that it belongs in the "so bad its good" category. It is, perhaps, more of a guilty pleasure inasmuch as no one wants to admit liking the movie, but I can think of many many movies (including a list of theatrical releases from this year) which are far worse.

It is not something you can expect to keep in your home video library but it is a unique 70s horror flick that was the "inspiration" for THE ISLAND. It give it 6 out of 10 because of the story and ingenuity, otherwise it would have gotten a 5 at best.