Fairy Tales

This 'erotic fairy tale' film rehashes similar plotlines from earlier films, most notably "Cinderella," with the premise of an impotent prince looking for a woman who can excite him. Since all of the 'good' material had been taken by earlier films, "Fairy Tales" pulls from many sources, from nursery rhymes like 'Little Bo Peep' and 'Jack and Jill,' to tales like "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves" and even a cameo by "Little Red Riding Hood."

By jumping around so much, this film keeps your interest. It's fairly humorous and the T&A is harmless. Tommy Tucker's brothel-barker character is the most successful as he beckons passersby to enter 'the big shoe,' assuring that what they do there is "nobody's business but your own."

Where this film loses steam is in the penultimate song sequence, identical to the one in "Cinderella," in which the cast sings the praises of Sleeping Beauty's virtues. Whereas in "Cinderella" the song refers to Cinderella's particular sexual expertise; here Sleeping Beauty's claim to fame is that she's a virgin. And comatose to boot. The prince, King Cole, and the Frog Prince (for whom i felt most sorry in that his plight could have been halted by a simple kiss from a virgin), despite the endless parade of literary babes, all desire Sleeping Beauty because she's never had sex. This sudden assertion of moral purity seems out of place and sort of disgusting in the light of the supposed sexual freedoms of this fantasy world. It brings a strangely didactic tone to this otherwise if-it-feels-good-do-it spectacle.

Harry Hurwitz, who also worked with Charles Band on porn documentary 'Auditions', creates a fun-filled version of favourite fairy tales. Though for adults the humour and sex is actually all quite innocent and kind of charming which makes this a watchable and entertaining movie. The songs are cleverly written and produced to a very high standard and also sung very well. Songstress Martha Reeves has a small role and performs one song (later in life Reeves claimed she was duped and did not know it was an adult film - to be fair her scene looks innocent and has her surrounded by cast, including the prince, in traditional dress). All of the acting is very good with Sy Richardson as a pimp (Richardson also worked on Band's soft porn version of 'Cinderella' before becoming famous). Angela Aames as Bo Peep is exceptionally pretty and proves what a shame her untimely death was. Co-writer Frank Ray Perilli worked alongside Albert Band for many years and later with Charles as he was starting out. Plot wise there is not much to add about the film, story is slight at best. This is a really credible film and even now among what would eventually become Full Moon Pictures best.

I am a big fan of Scream Queen Linnea Quigley. That's why I thought it would be fun to watch her in her first film ever. Boy was I wrong! Linnea's part is so small that she barely even appears at the end.

The rest of the movie is cheesy beyond belief. There are a few scenes that made me laugh, but nothing very memorable. What's even worse, the cast seems to be the ugliest cast I've ever seen in a movie! Linnea is sexy, but everyone else is disturbingly yucky! If you are going to make such a trashy flick, at least have the decency to hire some cute actors and actresses!

If you are a Linnea fan, then fast forward to the very end. Don't waste your time otherwise!

I fell in love with this "soft porn" turn at first viewing. It could have been just another slipshod "peepshow" as is the case of most T&A features. Instead, Hurwitz and Perilli decided that anything worth doing is worth doing well. The music is absolutely splendid and memorable and wickedly tongue-in-cheek (I am quite partial to "Beat Him Daddy A to the Bar" and "Little Bo Peep". All of the characters are well realized and fleshed out (so to speak) given the genre. Being an actor myself, I can tell when performers are having fun with their roles...a mainstay of successful comedy. They seem to have been having a blast. Anyone who can get through Tommy Tucker's (Robert Staats)scenes without a hearty belly-laugh (to say the least) is likely dead, humorless, or made of stone. Well done all around. I give it a "10". Highly recommended.

"My Venus lies five inches below my belly-button. But it's better there than in Uranus." I gave this film a 10 not because it's a great movie (it's not) but because it is so unique and weird that everyone really must watch it before they die to truly experience the world.

My friend Jason and I both watched this when we were twelve and fell in love with its absurdity. Now, thirteen years later Jason found it again on Netflix and we decided to bring back old memories. Oh, and it was as strange as we remembered if not stranger.

The story if of a prince who must have children in order to carry on his kingdom. But he can only be aroused by one woman, a princess he has never met and who may or may not exist. So he goes on a musical quest (yes, this is a musical) through fairy land to find her. Along the way, he encounters Little Bo Peep, Jack and Jill, Tommy Tucker, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and others. And they sing, and they're naked.

The songs are great and the excessive nudity is interesting. What is funny is that the nudity is not erotic and at no point does anything sexual ever happen. Yes, seven clothed midgets do lie on top of a naked Snow White, but no flesh touches flesh.

The only attractive woman in the film (besides maybe Jill) is none other than Linnea Quigley, known for her roles in numerous B-movies and fro ma few Cheech and Chong films. Among horror fans, she's best known as the goth chick from "Return of the Living Dead" (which, incidentally, might be one of the greatest zombie movies ever). While her part is very small, this also happens to be one of her first roles. So if you like a young Linnea, you really need to see this. (Although, as I said in the intro, if you really want to live you have to see this anyway.) Recommended beyond your wildest dreams. Just don't let two twelve year old boys watch it or they'll grow up to become addicted to the absurd... or worse yet, horse porn.