Meatcleaver Massacre

With a movie called "Meatcleaver Massacre" (also known as "Hollywood Meatcleaver Massacre"), you don't expect great art or a film with Oscar nominations. In fact, you'd likely assume it is dreck...and even that's too kind for this bottom of the barrel picture.

Now, you might be tempted to think it won't be that bad. After all, it stars Christopher Lee and begins with him lecturing the audience about evil. But it turns out his speech was actually made for a different film and the production company sold it to another one. This way, Lee was acting in a movie he'd never heard of because they'd inserted him into another movie without his permission! So it's crap...but also SLEAZY crap! And, he really didn't star in any movie...just a brief lecture on evil.

Four college students brutally attack a professor and his family. The wife and kids are dead but the professor, from his coma, contacts the evil demon Morak...offering him his soul IF he allows the professor to see his revenge. What follows is about what you'd expect...gore, lousy production values, terrible acting, and lots of fake blood in this nasty little movie.

This Faux Prequel to Patrick, Old Chief Wood'nhead and Pumpkinhead, was just as you expect and little more. It got confusing at times, but I just kept reminding myself: This is just Patrick, Old Chief Wood'nhead and Pumpkinhead and it's probably not the first of its kind. Never heard about it until this morning and at only 85 minutes, I regret little.

Meatcleaver Massacre (1977)

1/2 (out of 4)

Four students break into the home of their professor with the plan on scaring him but one of them decides to take it a bit further. The professor ends up paralyzed and unable to speak but even worse is that his family were brutally murdered. Soon the four students begin to suffer strange deaths and it turns out the professor is communication with an occult through brain waves.

Also known as Hollywood MEATCLEAVER MASSACRE, this film is best remembered for "starring" Christopher Lee. Apparently Lee provided on screen narration for another film that never materialized so the producer sold the footage to these filmmaker who added it to the beginning and end of this picture. I guess you can understand Lee being upset over this but at the same time you have to wonder why he didn't ask to re-write the dialogue but what he has to speak is quite laughable and it really reminded me of the speech Bela Lugosi had to give in GLEN OR GLENDA? If you're going into this movie for Lee then be warned that he only has two brief scenes.

The rest of the movie is pretty bad as it's clear no one had any movie experience and were just trying to make a cheap horror movie that could hopefully get into theaters and make money. I'm not sure if they succeeded in making money but there's no question that they made a very bad movie on many levels. For starters, the film was shot without much light so the majority of the scenes are extremely dark and to the point where you can't see what's happening. The screenplay really doesn't contain any logic as it's never quite clear why the students would kill the professor and what they do in the aftermath is quite dumb as well.

The film contains some pretty bad performances throughout and if you're just hoping for cheap exploitation due to the title then you'll be disappointed as well. The murder sequences are rather bland and there's certainly not enough gore here to make it worth sitting through. There's really not too many good things that can be said about this picture but I am thankful that it only ran 79-minutes.

What kind of college curriculum involves lectures on the occult, the professor muttering Satanic incantations in the dark while projecting details from a gory 15th-century painting of the avenging demon Morak, destroyer of destroyers?

Amazingly, Professor Cantrell's rather irregular course on demonology seems to be popular with his students, apart from Mason Harrue (Larry Justin), who isn't happy about being pressured to turn in a term paper on the subject. To teach Cantrell a lesson, Mason and his gang break into the professor's home and slaughter his family, leaving the teacher in a semi-vegetative state, unable to speak.

Mason and his thrill-kill pals think they have gotten away with murder, but they shouldn't have messed with an expert in the occult: even in his debilitated condition, Cantrell is able to summon Morak and send the demon to seek retribution.

Behind this film's sensational title lies a tedious piece of amateurish trash that doesn't even have the good grace to feature a meat cleaver. The opening mean-spirited murders promise something wonderfully gritty and grimy, but the remainder of the film is simply boring, the deaths of the gang members unimaginative and frustratingly lacking in gore. The direction by Keith Burns (going by the pseudonym of Evan Lee) is lifeless, and his actors are, without exception, wooden and unconvincing. According to Wikipedia. Burns was replaced by legendary craptastic director Ed D. Wood Jr, which speaks volumes about Burns' film-making skills.

For movie masochists who decide to give this one a whirl, there are two versions available: the original cut, which goes by the title Hollywood Meatcleaver Massacre, and a shorter, re-released version with the title Meatcleaver Massacre, which features a prologue and epilogue by Christopher Lee, shot for an entirely different movie! Either way, the film sucks.

1.5/10, rounded up to 2 for the hilarious ending in which Morak, depicted as a three-eyed monster with massive fangs in the painting, turns out to be a hairy man covered in green slime.

"Meatcleaver Massacre" follows a group of college students who kill their professor's entirely family (yes, you read that right) for kicks. The professor survives but is in a coma. Unfortunately, he is also an occult expert, and, from his unconscious state, he summons a Gaelic demon to dispatch them.

Infamously known for its prologue and epilogue featuring Christopher Lee as a narrator (note: this footage was actually recycled from a scrapped project and tacked on to give the film some "star power"), "Meatcleaver Massacre" is not exactly the "Texas Chain Saw Massacre" rip-off its title may lead you to believe. Rather, the film plays like a psychedelic, borderline-Lovecraftian affair wrapped up in cheap '70s finishings.

The film at times feels like a TV movie from its era, though it is much bloodier. The premise itself is fairly unique, and in some ways reminded me of 1972's "Tragic Ceremony", where a group of young people bear witness to something horrible and are haunted (and killed) by an unseen force. In "Meatcleaver Massacre", however, the characters engage in a Manson Family-style crime and, despite each of their expressions of guilt (aside from the cold, nihilistic ringleader), none of them are exactly likable.

The low budget shines through here in some of the choppy editing and overwrought dialogue, but there are moments in the film that are quite elegant and scary. A sepia-toned dream sequence in the first half of the film is spectacular and ominous, as is a number of other LSD-esque visual montages. These elevated moments outweigh some of the cheaper working parts.

All in all, I found "Meatcleaver Massacre" to be a decent low-budget horror flick. It manages to combine elements of the supernatural with the slasher film (similarly to 1980's "Night of the Demon", though I think that is a far superior film) and has a handful of great visuals. Despite the cheap raw working materials, there is an artiness about the film that most will not see coming. 6/10.