Porno Paradise

The first few minutes of The Opening of Misty Beethoven really show what kind of film it is - an adult film with a hardened style, a strong sense of eroticism, and quick-witted dialog at every turn. Within the first five minutes of the film, director Radley Metzger gives us a deliciously cinematic shooting style, largely thanks to the cinematographical work by Robert Rochester, deviating from the low-budget, scuzziness of most of the pornography during this period, several rapid fire quips between actors Jamie Gillis and Constance Money involving the going rate for a handjob, and, finally, a looming sense of eroticism throughout every turn. Despite the very professional presentation, there is never a sex act or genitalia, male or female, far out of frame.

Metzger's renowned contribution to The Golden Age of Porn concerns the titular character (played by Constance Money), a low-rate prostitute, who attracts the attention of the sexologist Dr. Seymour Love (Jamie Gillis). Dr. Love's goal is to turn Misty into an incredible prostitute, training her in giving the best fellatios and sexual experiences so she can tear up the town in a bold new fashion. Dr. Love gives her a series of endurance tests to work with, such as practicing fellatios, equating them to "eating a ripe mango." her ultimate challenge, however, is to seduce a homosexual, which she winds up doing to a fault, as she begins to fall in love with the soul and desperately wants to make a relationship work despite the obvious divide.

The Opening of Misty Beethoven is a deceptively thoughtful pornographic film and one that really shows what the period of porno chic was really about. The production is uniformly attractive, never succumbing to a seediness that's as ostensibly low as its subject matter and consistently affirming the talent on display and the aesthetic values throughout. This is a very attractively shot film, with loads of attractive locations that add to the visual zest Metzger and Rochester deliver. This film is less a straight-forward pornographic film and more of a film that just so happens to include a great deal of sex.

The film, in addition, features a plethora of sex scenes; as stated, it's almost as if somebody's genitals or a couple engaged in intercourse are always lurking around the corner. Few frames of The Opening of Misty Beethoven lack some sort of nudity or sex, so Metzger never gets too wrapped up in the aesthetics of his production that he ultimately forgets to deliver what we came for. Money's Misty is an instantly likable character, basking in her own instance while she continues to desecrate it with nearly every move and decision she makes. Paired with Gillis, a likable screen presence, she shines through and her abilities to inspire arousal and recognition of talent are simultaneously in effect.

While the quick-wittedness of screenwriter Jake Barns' dialog is discernible, The Opening of Misty Beethoven does lack the kind of contagious humor of Deep Throat and Debbie Does Dallas, in addition to not being as consistently erotic as Taboo. Yet, there is also a discernible amount of subversiveness on display here with the way the film presents itself, affirming its classiness while including numerous sexual acts. This film proves, if nothing else, that a film from The Golden Age of Porn can be just as presentable and respectable as any film made by Hollywood during that same era. Behind the Green Door might have been more subversive, but the overall effect in terms of its content, at least on me, was lukewarm. The Opening of Misty Beethoven, however, is the real deal.

Starring: Constance Money and Jamie Gillis. Directed by: Radley MEtzger.

This film could only have been made in the 70's during a very brief period in porn and the general population of the US when it was possible to make an erotic film of more than fake moans and money shots because porn actually for a brief few years had a potentially wide outlet both in terms of who would go see them and where they could be shown.

I'm a woman and I first saw it at the University of Minnesota where they were going to show it in a 1000 seat theatre one time for one night. (Try getting any porn onto a campus now.) They added two more showing to that night and then kept it around for a month or so with 3 shows on Fri and Sat. All the major papers in Mpls and St. Paul accepted ads back then for porn and X rated movies in addition to all the weeklies and student paper. Believe it or not but the reception of Deep Throat (a lousy movie IMHO) being so wide and broad it was made this possible. (Most major papers won't even accept an advert for a NC-17 movie nowadays.)

It was wonderful, the audience was made of both sexes, young and old and probably 60% couples and the film was loved. Women walked out smiling and hot. What I liked about it was the women actually looked liked they were having fun, and the sex was shot with the men actually satisfying women. (Go see Showgirls for a movie which in the major sex scene the actress looked like she was having a epileptic fit.) Additionally, there was always a tenderness exhibited during all "major" scenes which was unheard of before and after this period. For instance bodies got played with, there was cuddling after a few hour stand?? Revolutionary, toss in the humour and ending and well -- what more could you ask for.

But what was really wonderful was that so many of us women finally had an erotic movie that we could thoroughly enjoy on all levels just like the men. For the last 30 years I been telling everyone this was the best, the ultimate porn flick for everyone. Such a shame it's not one of a large group.

When the filmmaker in Paul Thomas Anderson's BOOGIE NIGHTS waxes elegiac about what porn could have been--a porn movie that's a real movie--THE OPENING OF MISTY BEETHOVEN is what he's talking about. Directed by Radley Metzger under the nom de guerre Henry Paris, this remake of "Pygmalion" has some wit, stylish production design, a story, rhythm, characters, and, if you can believe it, some not at all bad acting. Nothing else--not even Metzger/Paris' big-selling BARBARA BROADCAST--ever equaled it. See it, laugh, and mourn for what could have been.

I must admit that I gave this movie a 10 partly because I was relatively young and was seeing my first 'porno flick'. In the many years since then, I have seen many of both good and bad quality.

But this particular one has always held a special place in my soul. The dialogue was actually decent, the visual effects were absolutely stunning and there was a good humor that came through from everyone involved.

I'd love to see it again!

Jack Horner, Burt Reynolds' character in Boogie Nights, was determined to make "a real movie." This is probably what it would have looked like, right down to the mid '70s production quality and costumes. No one should be ashamed to admit they've watched it. It is a witty, intelligent comedy that just happens to be a porn film. Watch the exchange between Jamie Gillis and the flight attendant for proof of this. It's just as funny as anything in an early Woody Allen film. And the "swindle singing" that was featured prominently in Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid and Allen's Everything You've Always Wanted to Know About Sex gets a real workout here. And dare I say that this is a really good "date flick," of course after you've been dating for a while. I remember this movie playing in Northern Virginia for 12 years, from 1976 or so to 1988. Had video stores not flourished in the late '80s, I would be willing to bet that it would still be playing. It definitely has staying power, and the dated quality of the film just adds to the appeal.