Let My Puppets Come

Allegedly the only sex film (actually, there is nudity but no sex- on the part of the humans, anyway) ever made with live humans AND puppets. With a classic smut director at the helm, more weirdness than even Meet The Feebles and TWO cast members from Blood Sucking Freaks- how can you lose?? Well, OK, actually it sucks, but you know you still have to have it- if you can get it!

Gerard Damiano's Puppet porno Let My Puppets Come stops short of graphic human/puppet intercourse, but that doesn't mean that the film is suitable for the kids. Far from it... Damiano's movie goes much further than either Peter Jackson's outrageous Meet The Feebles (1989) or Brian Henson's more recent puppet crapfest The Happytime Murders (2018) by delivering all manner of XXX puppet-on-puppet action, including oral sex and puppet ejaculate (NOT silly string!). And with felt performers, Damiano is able to let his twisted mind run really wild, even depicting puppet bestiality!

The film is definitely something of a curiosity, unlikely to appeal to the dirty mac brigade, but not funny enough and a little too risqué to give it broader appeal. To make the movie even more niche, Damiano features several song and dance routines (some of which are actually pretty good), making this a puppet-porno-musical!

The film's totally bizarre mix of sex, music (some of which is by future two-time Oscar nominee Alan Silvestri) and grape throwing (watch it to see what I mean) makes it essential viewing for fans of cult oddities. Giving the film even more cult appeal is a role for Bloodsucking Freaks' Ralphus, dwarf performer Luis De Jesus (who started his screen career in a porn loop called The Anal Dwarf, but who worked his way up to play an ewok in Return of the Jedi).

This has got to be the fastest I have ever jumped at seeing a movie before. A porno puppet movie. Jeez, do I need help or what. Speaking of my mental state, I'd just like to say Let My Puppets Come was surprisingly good and made this little brain of mine pretty dang happy. The story revolves around group of businessmen who have failed in their latest business venture. Mr. Big, played by Rufus in Bloodsucking Freaks, backed their previous venture and he now wants his money back or else. Well, the guys hatch a plan to get his money back and make a little of their own. They decide to make a stag film. A skin flick. A porno movie! And that's just what they do. They even make some X-rated commercials to put in the movie as well. My fav being the one for women's hygiene, called Sweet Fish. Well, the movie is a nice lil treat for fans of the bizarre, fans of porn and definitely fans of Meet The Feebles. It's got bestiality and some nice puppet bj's. Can't go wrong with puppet bj's now can ya? No siree Bob. So if you're in the mood to check out something really goofy and unique give Let My Puppets Come a chance. 6.5 outta 10

This is not only the best hardcore porno puppet movie ever; it may just be the best hardcore porno movie ever. The acting is well above the usual porn standards. The actors have no problems with wood--they are wood! The actresses are probably slightly less synthetic and surgically-enhanced than today's porno starlets--and they seem to be genuinely enjoying their sex scenes. Is it erotic? Well, no, but neither are extreme close-ups of Ron Jeremy's perineum. And, hey, it's even on shot on film instead of video. My only regret is that I never got to see this during its original, (very) limited Time Square release (being 7 at the time they probably wouldn't have let me in the theater). I would have loved to see the look on the faces of all the sleazeballs and the slumming "porno chic" types who found "Deep Throat" to be a bold cultural statement when they got a gander of this thing!

Revisited this one via the shiny Vinegar Syndrome Blu-ray, which means I've now seen the uncut version. It's actually an improvement. With more space for the bad jokes, and more space for the songs which are actually the good parts, the whole thing works better. I'm still not huge on Damiano's comedies, but this one isn't bad and better than his most famous comedy, DEEP THROAT. It still has some pacing issues that prevent me from loving it, but it's at least watchable and fun in this version and not the annoying, nonsensical chore I found it in the previous 43 minute cut version..