Défense de toucher

Slogged through finding and reviewing this for one scene. Italian sex comedy says it all. Saw it on Cinemax, or equivalent, in the 80's and remember Jack Palance stroking the pubic hair of a naked young gal stretched across his lap. And Bond villains stroke cats!?! Bond gals at the height of their powers, what's not to like. The gal on Jack's lap deserves mention somewhere, and whoever conceived that setting.

I reckon the nurse fantasy is quite common. The sexy and good looking woman that will help you get better. Well there is a sort of a twist here, because the nurse is not hired so the patient gets better. There are ulterior motives at play here. All in the name of comedy.

A lot of nudity (not just from Ursual Andress) and I guess scenes that can be considered comedy. The movie fails to make everyone smile throughout though. And if you consider todays sensibilities and maybe some even sterner from the viewer (if that would describe you best) ... this may lose before it even starts. Especially one scene comes to mind, where a woman gets cornered and ... convinced to do something she seems not to want to do at first ... not an easy watch for sure or at least not that scene.

Other than that, there are some interesting scenes (Ursula in the pool, Ursula undressing and so forth). There could have been more with a tighter script, but I reckon it all was meant to be ... together.

Good production, plot, directing and acting. A superb vehicle for Ursula Andress, hired to induce a wealthy patriarch's corony by overdosing him with cleavage. She winds up falling in love with him. Black humor handled well. Not campy or dated. Ironic ending.

Ursula Andress' naked body is one of those things that make you believe in God. The other two women (especially the one who plays the maid) have great bodies as well. Then why is the higher grade that I can give to a film with such quality and quantity of nudity only 3 out of 10? Because, to get to Ursula's unbelievable body, we have to sit through a movie that is otherwise unfunny and boring (keep in mind that I watched the full 101-minute version, not the 78-minute American one which probably cuts out a lot of the extraneous material). In typical Italian-comedy tradition, most of the characters are exaggerated caricatures (the army freak, the "latin lover", the constant drunk, the naive maid) that are not funny, simply overacted. Final word: watch this, but keep your finger on the fast-forward button, you're gonna need it. (*)

Anna (Ursula Andress) is brought in as an official R.N. by ex-lover Benito Varotto (Duilio Del Prete), ostensibly to nurse an aging widower, Count Leonida Bottacin (Mario Piso), back to health after a heart attack. But Benito is actually leading a group of heirs and businessmen, including American entrepreneur Mr. Kitch (Jack Palance), with ulterior motives, reflected by what Anna hopefully will actually accomplish with the Count. He has a history of, well, liking women, and would be actually a bit more "vulnerable" as he is cured. The bad guys get derailed as Anna does not go along and grows closer to the Count. The ending might be said to be ironic, but it is probably better described as predictable.

But so much for plot--this film is totally an erotic comedy, from start to finish, and oh how good. There are many nude scenes, including ones of Anna and Jole, one of the malevolent heiresses, played by Luciana Paluzzi. Both Ursula and Luciana are noteworthy continental ex-Bond women, and thus fulfill the fantasies of male viewers. As she did in Thunderball (remember Fiona Volpe), Luciana plays a femme fatale, sort of, although less elegantly.

Perhaps the best scene is Anna's (slow) complete strip and jump in bed with the young Adone, the "other patient" (who incredibly is resisting), in an attempt to find out what he knows about the plot. But even at this point she is already two-faced (for the better), for she has decided not to go along. However, Benito is more than a two-timer with women, having had lengthy flings in the past with both Anna and Jole, and the rival best erotic scene follows an invective-filled (to put it mildly) argument between him and Jole. This is a standing-up encounter in which Luciana is down to black panties only. Another nice one is Ursula swimming fully naked in the estate's pool. The Count is free, as the client, to put his hands wherever he wants to on Ursula, and he takes advantage. Hey, somehow I've gone back to the actresses' names in my descriptions. Erotic scenes involving other women include an amusing naked wine cellar chase. "The Sensuous Nurse" is compact, 77 minutes, but it doesn't need to be--it is enjoyable without interruption, start to finish. Definitely recommended.