Black Samouraï

Jim Kelly was a great fighter, but no Richard Roundtree or Fred Williamson as an actor. He was good as the third banana (after Bruce Lee and John Saxon) in the martial arts classic 'Enter The Dragon', and even better in the surprisingly entertaining starring vehicle 'Black Belt Jones'. But that movies "sequel" 'Hot Potato' was pretty awful and the prospect of Kelly being teamed up with legendary schlockmeister Al Adamson ('Horror Of The Blood Monsters', 'Dracula vs. Frankenstein', 'Naughty Stewardesses',etc.etc.), made me think I was in for one of THE worst movies ever made. But you know what? This movie was ineptly dubbed, badly acted, had some crappy dialogue and was full of dull stock footage, but I still actually enjoyed it. Not much, but at least SOME, which is something I certainly didn't expect! Kelly plays an agent of D.R.A.G.O.N. which sounds really cool, but we're never told what that means exactly. The movie opens with him on holiday, but some guys in suits spoil it by making him a proposal to eliminate Janikan (Bill Roy), the leader of a drug/voodoo/slave trade cult. He refuses initially but is then told that his own girlfriend Tokai (Essie Lin Chia), who I think is an ambassador's daughter or something, has been kidnapped by these evil mofos. So of course, Kelly goes instantly into action, opening several cans of whup-ass on assorted thugs, voodoo baddies, midgets and even a vulture (named Vultron!). Adamson being Adamson, he still manages to make all this nowhere near as entertaining and exciting as you'd imagine, but there are still a few decent fight sequences, and a memorable jet-pack ride by Kelly. The supporting cast is very odd, and cult fans will get a big kick out of it because it includes D'Urville Martin (Reverend Rufus in Larry Cohen's 'Black Caesar' and 'Hell Up In Harlem' and director of the blaxploitation cult fave 'Dolemite'), Biff Yeager (from 'Repo Man' and other Alex Cox movies), little person Felix Silla (Cousin Itt from 'The Addams Family', 'Demon Seed', 'The Brood'), and even tough guy Aldo Ray ('We're No Angels', 'Angel Unchained'). 'Black Samurai' is trash, but there's lots of dumb fun to be had, especially if you keep the pizza and cold beers flowing throughout. And as bad as it is, it's STILL better than 'Hot Potato'!

The movie "The Black Samurai" has everything you could ever want in a film: kung-fu, midgets, a mariachi band, a vulture, a jet-pack, a sassy black woman, cool sound effects, a car-chase, and random explosions. PLUS: A gay devil-worshiping badguy, a secret agent organization, a fire-spouting pen, snakes, afros, a scene where the good guy kills tons of badguys with a grenade because he's tired...and with SEX APPEAL! The only thing lacking in this movie is gratuitous gore and nudity! Wow what a feature!

Al Adamson had little luck mastering the horror genre and it would appear from this misbegotten, Jim Kelly vehicle that his gleeful ineptitude as a director was at its zenith with 'Black Samurai'. If they haven't benumbed themselves already, bad movie aficionados will find themselves in a terminal state of physical and spiritual paralysis mid-way through a screening of this confounding example of horribly inept and sickeningly opportunistic "cinenema". It's such a shame that the name of Ed Wood gets bandied around as filmdom's most foolhardy auteur, when a myopic, amputee, feral child could have edited 'Black Samurai' with more panache than Adamson; you could gaffer tape a Bolex into the hand of a 30 year old corpse and engender a more profound cinematic statement than 'Black Samurai'. If one had the choice of ramming a frozen stoat repeatedly into both eyes, or watch 'Black Samurai'; find yourself an icy mammal, as I can assure you the latter is infinitely more painful.

Fellow fans of bad movies, you're in for a real treat with this Jim Kelly classic!

OK here's the deal: The daughter of an important ambassador (who also apparently happens to live by the samurai code – we're never too sure as we never actually get to see him!) is kidnapped by some decidedly mean looking crooks (headed by a dead ringer for Lee Van Cleef!) who happen to be working for the head of a group of Satanists (got that?)

Step forward agent Roland Sand (Kelly) of D.R.A.G.O.N who is assigned the mission to rescue our beautiful damsel in distress. (What does the agency name stand for? I haven't the foggiest because it's never explained!) Anyway, to cut a long story short (even though there isn't really a story present!) it happens that by a seemingly unlikely coincidence, the seized sexy daughter also happens to be Kelly's girlfriend!!!! Wow, what a small world eh?!

Obviously our man quite rightly wastes no time at all in promptly searching for her but before he can rescue her he must first fight his way through a seeming army of devil worshippers, some Zulu warriors(!!!) a vulture(!!!), a room full of rattle snakes(which are kept securely in their holding cell via a grilled door!!!!!! Eh?!!!!!) and a fair number of demented dwarfs(!!!!!!!) Yes, you might well want to re-read that last sentence to make sure that you weren't seeing things. Believe me, if it sounds bizarre on paper then it's even more bizarre on film!

Chock full of twangy 70's music, groovy fashions, bad acting and some absolutely (unintentionally) hilarious scenes throughout this is a veritable bad movie classic!

Best scene of all for me though was near the end when our hero dukes it out with the head henchman charmingly referred to as Bone. For some odd reason the film suddenly develops an entire overdub wherein our hero taunts his opponent by throwing at him such choice insults as 'Chump', 'Sissy' and 'Faggot' (all spoken way above the normal volume level on the soundtrack) – Needless to say I almost wet myself laughing.

Also be sure to check out the cool and garish opening credits sequence – awesome stuff!

Oh, did I mention the jet pack? – Damn, you NEED to see this film!

Even by standards of low budget filmaking, Black Samurai is a poor quality production. Black Samurai was an action vehicle for martial artist/actor Jim Kelly, directed by schockmeister Al Adamson in his most expensive production. Adamson is best known for crappy, low budget horror and exploitation features like Dracula Vs. Frankenstein and Satan's Sadists. Having said that Black Samurai is a bad movie and poorly made is true. It has horrible direction, editing and acting. The film also looks like crap as well. Even so, I still enjoy watching it from time to time. Jim Kelly plays an agent for D.R.A.G.O.N. and has to rescue a daughter who belongs to a powerful Japanese family and also happens to be Jim Kelly's love interest. The kidnappers are human trafficking, dope pushing goons who happen to be into voodoo and witchcraft. Jim Kelly uses his karate skills to fight these turkeys as well as talk a ton of trash while doing so. There is much fighting against turds that don't have a chance as well as a bunch of outrageous material that don't make much sense, but is greatly amusing to yours truly. There is Jim Kelly on a jetpack, midgets, a pet vulture, a fight with Zulu warriors and much more craptastic crud in this schock grade blaxsploitation actioner. Black Samurai is still better in my opinion than Jim Kelly's worst feature, the absolutely unwatchable Hot Potato. Production wise, Black Samurai is also a steaming pile of poop, but hilarious, amusing poop and even professional turd maker Al Adamson can't diminish Jim Kelly's coolness as he drops many suckas!