Turn-On

..a woman going to a Candy/Cigarette looking machine, putting in some money, and when the thing she was waiting for didn't come out, she started kicking, punching, and shaking the machine. Then they zoomed in on the machine, and a sign on it said "The Pill", and then the "Please stand by" sign came on. The whole family started to think it was another report on Vietnam interrupting the show, or maybe some other new on shooting at a college or something like that, but it was just the show had been canceled. I'm not sure what they put on for the rest of the hour, all I know is they TURNED OFF "Turn On" minutes after it started. It had to be the most short lived program I've ever seen.

The producers of "Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In" tried to outdo themselves with this ABC show, which had rapid-fire visual effects (sometimes lasting seconds). It was supposedly comedy produced by a computer monitored by two technicians. (In those days before effective videotape editing, it was produced on film to support those rapid cuts.)

The show got many complaints for its "dirtiness", which to my memory consisted of guest star Tim Conway saying something about "damn kids" and a one-minute silent bit with Conway's and a cast member's disembodied heads bobbing around on a black screen, with big glowing neon letters spelling "SEX." The show was cancelled the next morning by ABC, which I believe is still the record holder for a TV show cancellation.

I (believe it or don't) saw blips of this on a Japanese sampler of "Comedy Shows From Around The World." I don't know where they got the clips from however.

Setting a record for the fastest cancellation is this show's only mention in most cases. It's "Laugh-In" with the raunchy humor turned up a few notches. Teresa Graves is even in it.

The rapid (and I do mean RAPID) fire humor looked like Monty Python on crystal meth. Too fast for most. And the double-entendres put off sponsors and censors. Big surprise there. The music was the WORST thing about this. That probably single-handedly prevented anyone from even caring if this got nixed.

That said, the networks made a mistake by not trying to give it another chance. It probably could have been great. But the producers goofed and the censors were too tight.

My personal fave joke? Sexy girl in front of a firing squad. "Miss, instead of you getting a last request, we would like to make a last request." Wink-wink.

Anyone got this on video? Drop me a line if you do.

When Tim was doing chat shows in the 70s, the discussion would always include a comment like, "You've been on a lot of TV series." Tim would then respond by listing every show he was on, and then the number of episodes before it was cancelled. And then he would say, "Turn-On. Cancelled after one show."

Legend has it the head of ABC programming actually decided to cancel it the moment it ended. At the time, ABC was still the distant third-place network. The hope was that George Schlatter could give ABC a counterpart to NBC's LAUGH-IN and CBS' SMOTHERS BROTHERS. Too bad the material was just not there. I was 12 when I watched this. None of my family was interested on it, so I watched it in my bedroom. I remember thinking it was odd. I don't recall laughing much at it.

The Museum of Television and Radio actually have two episodes of Turn On (though one is slightly misfiled). This show is one of the most surreal pieces of television I have ever witnessed. Shot entirely on a white sound stage with no sets and no laugh track, the gags are faster than rapid fire and rather cutting edge for the time. The credits (which feature many names not listed here, including Albert Brooks) run for the entire duration of both programs! Other episodes shot for this program (but never aired) included guest shots from Sebastian Cabot and the Monkees. Robert Culp is the special guest on episode two. All I can tell you is that most descriptions of this program in books or on the internet are from people who have never actually seen this thing - it isn't so much a Laugh In rip off, as it is what might happen if the Fox network tried to spice up the Laugh In concept. With skits about foot fetishes and birth control it may still be a little much for the meek. I recommend it to any '60s pop culture fanatic (though the first episode will give you a headache from the incessant Moog synthesizer music, which is played non-stop).