The Wild Wild World of Jayne Mansfield

The Wild, Wild World of Jayne Mansfield (1968)

BOMB (out of 4)

If you're looking for a documentary on the life and career of Jayne Mansfield then it's best you stay far away from this "film" which is really nothing more than an exploitation of the actress. What we basically get is a mondo movie that features footage of a vacation Mansfield took to Rome, Italy just months before her death. With a fake narrator pretending to be Mansfield, she talks about all sorts of dumb things but mostly about how she loves Italian men and wishes she could see a Roman orgy. Because there was so little footage of this vacation, we also get clips from some of her later movies edited in and there's footage of other people not even connected to Mansfield in her real life. This is an incredibly stupid, tasteless and downright waste of time that just proves that the actress was treated just as bad after her death as she was in the last few years of her life. We get several shots from her Playboy photos as well as clips from the notorious PROMISES....PROMISES! but this film here makes that stinker look like the work of Orson Welles. The silly thing is that there are three people credited with directing this movie but if any of them had any class they would have requested their names be removed. Again, there's no question that this thing was rushed into production to capitalize on Mansfield's death but the most sickening thing comes in the final ten minutes when we see a fake "crash" and then see death photos of Mansfield who of course died in a car crash. Even more tasteless is that we see her ex-husband Mickey Hargitay showing off the home they shared and then we get introduced to their two sons, both of whom were in the car when their mother died. The first portion of this film, as bad as it is, was apparently just trying to exploit the star and show off its X-rating but what happens at the end is just a disgrace and really vile. This film is just a complete bore that turns into something so tasteless that there's really no point in watching the film.

Forget Michael Palin, the world according to Jayne '40-18½-36' Mansfield is my kinda world!

First she treks to Rome, followed by a herd of horny men pinchin' her ass while she's babblin' on about the Colloseum, her nude Playboy pics, gladiators, orgies mixed with Hercules footage!?! Then Cannes gets the bombshell treatment as our bikini Jayne (VA VA VOOOOM!) walks the beaches ("smallest bikinis in the world") and starts twistin' to "Bird's The Word" performed by a cool black R&B combo. She goes on a boattrip and strip nude and confesses:

"I'm basically very shy!"

And on and on this relentless busty 'love crusade' goes. Hookers, midgets, Paris, dragqueens, gays'n'dykes ("I'm just too darn confused!" poor little thing), Mickey Hagitay, strippers, footage from PROMISES, PROMISES and PRIMITIVE LOVE.....and bloody pics of her fatal car crash in 1967!?!

Now, where's my time machine?

Oh my GOD! What an AMAZING movie! "The Wild, Wild World Of Jayne Mansfield" is an exploitation movie lover's dream come true! When i first saw this, my jaw DROPPED to the floor in utter amazement! As soon as I heard the zippy little title music and cheesy-cute opening credits, I had a feeling this was going to be interesting...but I was completely caught off guard when the breathy narrator announced "Hi! I'm Jayne Mansfield" while watching grainy black & white footage of Jayne in Rome! WHAT!!???!!! The movie proceeded from there and I was stunned by the audacity of the filmmakers as they carve out a pseudo mondo movie out of literally NOTHING!!!

This movie was made AFTER Jayne was dead. Whoever put it together was a GENIUS and deserved an Oscar or SOMETHING! What you get are, what appear to be, HOME MOVIES of Jayne on vacation in Europe, a wonderfully FAKE Jayne Mansfield narrator, an obvious stand in (especially noticeable in the early black and white scenes where she's walking down the Via Veneto in Rome, looking through the Playboy magazine, and entering her hotel), shamelessly silly nudie filler scenes (which are all connected via "Jayne's" ditzy explanations), etc!

You will HOWL with laughter as Jayne, on a nudist island off of the coast of France, splashes her toes in a stream. The cool water running over her toes reminds her of other times and other feet! WHAT!?! Yes, she has segued into a memory of a risqué theater performance where only feet are on stage! It's tacky stuff...but for a memory, it's strange that Jayne is NO WHERE to be seen!

While in Paris, follow Jayne, on the top of the Arch de Triumph, as she takes a secret passage that leads into Paris' swinging underground nightclub for transvestites! (You enter from the top of the Arch de Triumph? HUH?? Whatever...) Then, marvel as Jayne, with amazing bionic-like super vision, spys on couples fooling around in a hotel room, a park, etc all from the top of the Effeil Tower with her naked eyes!

There's also a drag queen competition that Jayne is supposed to be attending. There is one quick flash of her seated in a booth...but it does NOT seem likely it's the same place. For all we know, it could have been film of her having a Grand Slam breakfast at Denny's or something, very craftily spliced into the other scene!

The most shocking and painfully funny bit, has the camera filming from a car's point of view. Suddenly, the car seems to loose control! There is the screeching of breaks on the asphalt, and the car/camera go careening toward some trees! EEK! We then cut away to REAL photographs of Jayne's deadly automobile accident. She slammed into a big truck. Here in the heck is the TREE we, the audience as Jayne, just slammed into? And before you can look away from the crash shots, we are suddenly getting a tour of the inside of Jayne's gaudy mansion (with it's heart shaped pool, sink, and bed) by Jayne's ex-husband Mickey Hargitay!! (Does that place still exist as is? Man, I'd LOVE to see it! It's incredibly TACKY!!!)

There is just SO MUCH this movie throws at you---it's stupdefyingly bizarre!

I LOVE it! You get an interview with a supposed Jayne Mansfield look-a-like female impersonator, a topless female band performing, a best-breasts competition, and strip-tease lessons! There are also film clips of Jayne in "The Many Loves of Hercules", "Primitive Love", and nude in "Promises Promises"! Although the film gets a bit bogged down with all of the topless filler towards the end (did they run out of cutting room floor clips of Jayne??), it's still an amazing cinematic achievement. The filmmakers have literally taken NOTHING and created a mondo MESS-terpiece of exploitation genius! Jayne would have been proud!

ITS CAMPY AND FUN. An easy watch and a fun movie. It's fascinating seeing the cameos of early trans people. Don't get me wrong, the film gets clunky at times, her body doubles are a bit obvious and it's not Jayne Narrating but Carolyn De Fonseca but it's passable as she also dubbed over Jayne in a few of her other movies like Dog Eat Dog. IF YOUR A FAN OF JAYNE PLEASE WATCH. In some scenes like the interview with one of the transgender performers it's clear that it was filmed after Jayne's death and it's a bit awkward in the drag ball scene as it's obvious again that Jayne is not alive at the time of filming. THE END HAD ME CRYING. We go from this fun film to a sad movie and the campy plot juxtaposed with the painful reality of her life honestly summarises her life in a metaphorical way.

Not very good mostly silent documentary, with a faked voice pretending to be the late B movie queen,as she takes you around the world to some pretty "wild" events. Serves as a decent document of some stuff you probably never saw from that time period, but definitely not a worthwhile homage to this lovely lady.