Gallery of Horror

Critically reviled Gallery of Horror stars Lon Chaney Jr, John Carradine and a slew of people who have absolutely no place being in the industry.

It's a 5 story horror anthology that isn't so much cheesy bad but old school plain bad.

Vampires, zombies, psychotics, witches and more are on display yet each story has a very familiar looking cast. Thats right, the same people play different characters throughout which prevent any chance of you becoming engrossed.

The plots are mostly silly, the sfx are genuinely laughable and Carradines narration segments are the absolute pits. It's not just his weak delivery or how much he comes across as if he's rambling without script but that background during such segments is head scratchingly dumb.

I like horror anthologys but this stinker has to go down as one of the worst.

The Good:

Lon Chaney Jr

The Bad:

Everything just looks so incredibly bad

Poor writing

Weak acting

Narration segments are the pits

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Not every horror anthology can be a Creepshow (1982) or a Trick r Treat (2007)

1967 was simply the worst year in cinematic history

Okay, there's one thing about the 80's that I miss. At 4AM, one used to be able to see Grade Z gems like this on TV. Now it's nothing but those rotten Infomercials. You could say that Ted Turner killed film culture, but I would argue that it was Anthony Robbins. In fact, during that golden hour of the day/night, one could see many films unleashed by the maverick no-budget director David L. Hewitt. THE MIGHTY GORGA, WIZARD OF MARS and JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF TIME used to tickle many a bad-film lover (or torture an unsuspecting insomniac) who tuned in.

This film, which I saw under the title RETURN FROM THE PAST, is a gloriously inept, amazingly miserable cash-in on the then-popular trend of horror anthology movies (in which a few short, separate tales of horrific irony are strung together by an onscreen narrator). All the hallmarks of Hewitt's unmistakable authorship are in abundance here.

First, there is the hiring of once-great, "anything for a buck" actors; in this case, John Carradine (naturally) and Lon Chaney Jr, in small roles which nonetheless gave the theater owners a name to put in the marquee. Secondly, Hewitt once again fills the cast with his oddball stock company of dreary, nasal-sounding "actors" (who is this Roger Gentry, anyway?). As well, the director's sterling use of half-finished sets, or plain black backgrounds (when there were none at all!) is such a feat that would even make Ed Wood blush if he worked under such insane conditions. Add to this, the surprisingly ambitious writing (for bargain-basement cinema, anyway) which paradoxes the miserable attempts at mise en scene. For such a bottom-of-the-barrel project as a Dave Hewitt film, one wonders why he bothered with such an adventurous screenplay (like WIZARD OF MARS or JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF TIME, especially), when the insultingly bad production values would work against the ambition of the writing anyway. Thus, therein lies the strange dichotomy of Hewitt's work as a director. With a thrift-store budget, he really tried to make something out of nothing. Who can blame him if he didn't succeed?

Add some haphazard dubbing, some great juvenile cartoon blood dripping on the screen, and you have a truly beguiling piece of work. Anyone who insists on making tired, threadbare projects like this has to get a medal for bravery alone.

Look, I'll be brief. If you have ANY taste for the so-bad-they're-great classics (Plan 9, Robot Monster, Brain That Wouldn't Die), hunt down a copy of this, the most overlooked member of the club. Amazingly, this was put out in letterboxed form; but anyway you can find it, WATCH THIS MOVIE. It is fantastic

I don't know how to rate this (see below). Certainly this is one of the all time bad movies. A the same time its also unintentionally funny (I least I think so, but I'm not sure since several actors seem to be laughing on screen). This is one of those movies thats so enjoyably bad as to make you wonder why Ed Wood is king of bad movies when there are others more deserving of the title.

This film is a collection of five short horror film introduced by John Carradine. Each one runs about the same amount of time and ends with a twist ending.

The first is The Witches Clock and concerns a clock left in a castle a young couple has just purchased. Carradine appears in this story as a traveler who shows up at the castle when the clock is restarted.

King Vampire is about a vampire on the loose in Victorian London thats hunted by the police.

Monster Raid concerns a man who was fed an immortality drug returning from the grave to get revenge.

Spark of Life has Lon Chaney as a doctor trying to return the dead to life.

Count Dracula is a fast retelling of the Dracula story with a twist ending.

They play as if EC comics Tales from the Crypt or Vault of Horror became bad TV shows. Worse are the twists that end every story since they come at point not where logic would dictate they should be, but rather where a strict running time demands they be.

The acting is uneven and bad, with only Carradine the only one turning in anything close to a performance. The sets are dreadful as is pretty much everything else. Best of all (?) the movie was recently released on DVD in full widescreen so that the film can now be seen in its full cinematic glory (and I use the term lightly).

If you like bad movies this is a film to search out. If you want an actual "good" movie then I suggest you look elsewhere.

For Bad Movie lovers: 8 out of 10 For those who need good movies: 1 out of 10

I too originally caught this sometime between 1969-1971 on WPIX NY on Saturday night's "Chiller Theatre" as a youngster, where it played under one of it's alternate titles "Return From The Past".

The first time it aired that I recall was a few weeks before Xmas that year. Naturally, I had never heard of it-even being a big fan of horror movies and "Famous Monsters" magazine. At that young age I didn't notice the low budget sets and I did like the movie right off the bat, as well as already being familiar with John Carradine and Lon Chaney. Though I must say that there is something about this film I really enjoy still to this day, though it may be from my nostalgic memories of the time coloring my opinion. Now, this hasn't aired in this part of the country very much at all in the last 30-some odd years, so your chance of seeing it I guess is pretty slim. Yeah, there's no real action. Some of the acting is questionable. The castle used in all the tales is from a Roger Corman movie (as well as the horse drawn carriage scenes). The endings can sometimes be predictable (except perhaps the last twist of the last tale "Count Alucard"), but I still love it. "The Witch's Clock" tale which also has John Carradine starring,is actually a pretty good story (with the constant echoed tick-tocking of the old clock after it's re-started being very effective). This is certainly not for fans of newer post 70's films, but for us older fans perhaps horror from the 1940's to 1960's this can be enjoyable. I watch this film as if it's a stage play-the very minimal background sets certainly give off that feeling (especially in the Lon Chaney tale as well as the outdoor mob scenes in "King Vampire"). But, hell, it can be allot of fun if you're in the right frame of mind. I believe Lon Chaney only made one other movie after this-the truly awful "Dracula vs Frankenstein" by hack Al Adamson-if you think this THIS is bad, try watching that sometime (or any Adamson film, for that matter)! There's something odd about the mood of some of director David L Hewitt's better films that I quite like. "The Wizard Of Mars"-another film of his from around this same time with many of the same cast has a quite odd mood as well. I wish that would come to DVD. Hewitt's better know film-"Journey To The Center Of Time" looks a bit more like a mainstream movie, but I enjoy it less than these other 2 films of his. I wonder what ever happened to Mr Hewitt? Anybody out there know?

Anyway, my main reason for adding this at this time is because it's been announced that, yes, the DVD of this is finally being released Jan 17 2006, for those who care (and, yes, I have already pre-ordered my copy). I hope they use a good, restored print. I actually have 2 videocassette versions of this (one of them in widescreen that looks pretty decent). Certainly not a film for all. But for those who caught this in their youth and enjoyed it, quite a fun film.