Journey to the Center of Time

Scott Brady is the star and villain of Journey To The Center Of Time, a rather cheaply made science fiction work that compromised mostly of one set and a bunch movie clips to show the past and future on planet earth. Brady is a rich industrialist who wants to shut down an experimental lab where scientists Anthony Eisley, Gigi Perreau, and Abraham Sofaer are working on time experiments. Brady thinks the experiments are a waste of time and his money.

So imagine when things go a bit haywire and Brady finds himself on a rapid journey to our distant past and distant future with the others.

This independent film was apparently something none of the major studios would touch. The usual time travel conundrums are here and the players give rather dispirited performances like they were anxious their salary checks wouldn't clear.

Not the best of the genre, not even close.

There is definitely a place for movies like Journey to the Center of Time. I really believe that if it weren't for astonishingly bad movies like this, it would be harder to really appreciate the good ones. I also, on the other hand, wonder what the people were thinking when they were making movies like this, because no one makes famously bad movies deliberately, do they?

At any rate, the movie starts out with a whole dialogue of scientific mumbo jumbo. A lot of it went right over my head because I have no background in science, but I don't think much of it makes sense anyway, because would a movie like this really make a serious argument about the logistics and technical aspects of time travel? I doubt it, because their destination, as you know, is the "center of time." Whatever or wherever or whenever that is.

Early in the movie they describe their destination as "the balance between past and future," which until now I had always assumed to be the tenuous and fleeting place known generally as "now."

But not in this movie, here there are enormously complex time travel experiments being conducted using enormously simple equipment. It's not long before we are given the bizarre explanation that this is a $14 million project to create a satellite that can show pictures taken 24 hours ago. Is that how much $14 million buys? 24 hours? That's really too bad. Maybe that's why most people can only afford surveillance cameras. The cheap, boring time-travel- less ones. No one makes movies about those!

Then again, for all the cardboard simplicity of the lab, they did have a hydraulic lift built in to raise and lower people about 18 inches from the upper platform to the lower platform. A more frugal team would have installed the two stairs, but maybe these guys weren't quite sure what to do with all that money.

There is a scene about 30 minutes into the movie where the crew, under a surprisingly effective 24-hour deadline, finally manage to conduct a successful experiment using the, ah, temporal displacement device they have been working on, and they are all shocked to see, on the characteristically 1970's oval-shaped big screen TV in front of them (and after more than a minute of pictures of galaxies, b-roll, and random head shots), what one of the scientists describes as "the test area. Time central!" I'm glad they knew what they were looking for, the rest of us may have reached the center of time and passed it on by without even knowing to stop!

But soon they notice that they've opened a window through which they can see 5000 years in the future, so I reckon it's going to be a good idea to stop about then. But soon we learn that it's a window that matter can pass through, so it's not going to be long before some silver guys in shiny jumpsuits mosey on into the lab and say come with us if you want to live.

They say that good science fiction movies, especially time travel movies, show us the future to comment on the present. This is a bad science fiction movie, but it still makes sure to comment on the present, specifically man's seemingly endless capacity and drive to kill each other in war. Even super-advanced future-people can be killed by man's "primitive" nuclear weapons!

The last third of the movie seems to consist of nothing but seemingly endless montages shown on that video screen, mostly of modern wars, and yet there's still only enough here for an 82 minute movie. And don't miss the hilarious hand-to-hand combat scenes! Classic!!

This is definitely one for the books - the book being "Bad movies to laugh and point at." It's simply an endless fountain of badness; bad acting, writing, plot, sets, dialog, special effects - and how wonderful to find all that in one place.

It's quite possible this movie has some redeeming features but who really cares?

Oh an the best line from any movie ever!

Says the handsome, plastic looking scientist guy to the scientist girl in the impossible heels:

"You're very pretty. For a girl."

After that - how can you not love this marvelous mess?

Others may call this the worst film ever made without offering reasons; perhaps it's time to analyze why this is so bad. Well, let's put analysis aside for a bit. This seems to be almost a remake of "The Time Travelers" from '64. Or perhaps, it's a parallel depiction of events in the space-time continuum, utilizing stock footage from that earlier film. But we can save such scientific observations for later. Where "The Time Travelers" was low budget, this is EXTRA low budget. This means most of the movie has to take place on the same set, in the same room. Any other sets are bare bones; anything in the background is just black space, a very minimalist approach. But we can describe such things later.

The plot has to do with traveling into the future, to just before around the year 7000 AD. The group of 4 travelers chat with some visiting aliens there for a few minutes during a nuclear attack, then run back to their capsule and head back to a prehistoric past. Scott Brady, as a rich irresponsible businessman, manages to wreck everything he touches, including the cave they take refuge in (I was surprised by the set design here, which was beyond the $50 I'd been convinced had been spent up to this point). I give this more than one star due to the unique manner in which Brady manages to kill himself. But anyone should be forewarned by the credits in the beginning, which introduce a 'Poupee Gamin' as 'Vina.'

JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF TIME seals us into a dull room filled with dull people doing dull things. This is where we are doomed to stay, interrupted only by a few giant lizards and Lyle Waggoner.

This movie is boredom captured on film.

Few movies dare to hit us over the head so continually with utter nothingness. So little goes on that time itself stops, ceases to be, ends forever. Our hearts seem to shrivel with our brains as we watch.

Watch this only if you have lost all reason to live, or if you are among the teeming throng of Lyle Waggoner fanatics.

Otherwise, your soul shall die...