Five Golden Dragons

I've gone back and forth on how to rate Five Golden Dragons. On one hand, I really want to like this movie. It's got an infectious 60s vibe that really worked with me. On the other hand, it's got a lot of problems and is, in all honesty, a mess of a movie. So, I'm stuck with giving it a wishy-washy 5/10.

I'm not going to do the normal plot summary. There's no point because there's not much of a coherent plot. None of it makes any sense at all. I'll just say that there is a lot of super-secret spy type stuff going on in Hong Kong and it all surrounds a group of five guys who call themselves the Five Golden Dragons (hence the title). What they do or who they are is as unknown to me now as it was before I watched the movie. All I know is that they want to sell-out to the mafia (I think) for $50 million. And there are some other people who would quite naturally like to get their hands on the money. Be warned that all or part of this could be completely wrong - I just don't know.

One of the big draws of Five Golden Dragons is the cast. George Raft, Dan Duryea, Brian Donlevy, and Christopher Lee are prominently listed in the credits. However, their combined screen time is about 10-15 minutes and all they do is sit around a table, put on and take off some goofy looking gold dragon masks, and spout some of the most inane dialogue I've ever heard. The whole thing looks like it might have been filmed in an hour. Their acting is also pretty funny. They all seem to go through a range of emotions ranging from bewilderment to confusion to amusement to impatience. It's obvious they realize how bad this thing really is.

Most of the rest of the cast is, however, very enjoyable. I really enjoyed seeing Klaus Kinski, Maria Perschy (wow), Maria Rohm, Rupert Davies, and Sieghardt Rupp. All are capable and do the best with what they have. But the highlight for me was Margaret Lee. Any movie with Margaret Lee is automatically better than it would have been without her. A lot of the movie is more than competently filmed with some very nice shots of Hong Kong. The chase scene through the harbor was especially nice. The movie's pacing is all over the place. In spots the action is great and the movie has a nice flow to it. But, in others, the film really drags.

Finally, after going through some of the good and bad I found in Five Golden Dragons, I'm left with writing about the one thing that almost ruined the movie for me and keeps me from rating it at least a point higher. And that is Robert Cummings. He's so bad! I don't know when I've seen an actor irritate me like this. Part of the problem is that much of the time he seems to be acting like he's in another movie. The comedy he brings to the film is most often completely out of place. His reactions to most everything going on are usually the exact opposite of what you would expect. Also, he's 100% wrong for the role. Here's the IMDb summary for the movie, "A naive young American playboy in Hong Kong finds himself caught up in the middle of an international crime." Young! Are you kidding me? At 57, Cummings isn't young by a long shot. And his bad dye job doesn't help. Some of his scenes with Maria Perschy and Margaret Lee are embarrassing. Also, at 57, he's way too old play "naïve". His stammering, stuttering schoolboy is laughable. Completely and utterly ridiculous! I'm willing to forgive a lot of the faults in Five Golden Dragons, but Cummings isn't one of them.

I'm sure that Bob Cummings and the guest stars who played the Golden Dragons must have looked forward to a nice trip to Hong Kong as the main reason for signing on for this film. In the case of George Raft his troubles with the IRS are well documented. It's as good a reason as any to appear in this dragging film.

Five Men who are the Golden Dragons are operators apparently on both sides of the law and unknown to each other they meet in Hong Kong to dissolve a successful partnership and split their accumulated loot. They wear these silly dragon masks and have a key that opens a lock for admission. If they're not a dragon, they got shot with a turn of said lock.

Four of them make it, Dan Duryea, George Raft, Christopher Lee, and Brian Donlevy. The fifth doesn't show up, he's been eliminated. They can't start without him.

In the meantime kind of like Cary Grant was sucked into some espionage plot in an infinitely better film, North By Northwest, Bob Cummings gets involved in this whole business. He's an aging playboy in Hong Kong for some fun and frolic. Of course he's not what he seems.

Cummings tried to make light of the whole business. Everyone else mouthed the dialog with all the satisfaction of players whose salary checks have cleared.

All of you I'm sure have better memories of all the name players in the cast. Keep them.

"Five Golden Dragons" is a very odd film that was made at the Shaw Brothers Studio in Hong Kong. It's odd because although the studio is known for its martial arts movies, this one is a crime film jam-packed with over the hill American stars of the past. Bob Cummings stars in it but it also features Dan Duryea, George Raft and Brian Donlevy! Additionally, Christopher Lee is there...and like all but Cummings, he barely has a line in the film and spends much of the movie wearing a silly golden dragon mask!

Cummings plays an American businessman, Bob Mitchell, who is in Hong Kong on business. However, his path crosses a vicious gang run by the Golden Dragons syndicate and he spends much of the film running from these jerks....and, inexplicably, running from the police who are trying to save him!

The plot to this film quite often makes no sense. However, the location shooting looks nice and the film never really takes itself seriously, so it's still a decent time-passer...even if the notion of the older American actor somehow defeating crime lords!

B grade British film set (and made) in Hong Kong, although the leads are American.

The Five Dragons are a confederate involved in illegal activity in Hong Kong, when they decide to dissolve the confederate. A professor meets some young women at the pool and becomes involved.

The story is simple comic book stuff, and not particularly carefully made, but the film is livened up by many period scenes in Hong Kong and the comely Magda.

There is a song by a contemporary Japanese star called Yukari Ito. In one scene a (new) Toyota Corona turns into an (old) Morris Oxford before blowing up.

Silly, sometimes juvenile, but generally amusing adaptation of the Edgar Wallace story by producer Harry Alan Towers, using his screen writing pseudonym of "Peter Welbeck". Fading sitcom star Robert Cummings plays Bob Mitchell, a naive American playboy on vacation in Hong Kong. He soon gets dragged into various matters of international intrigue, while a dedicated police commissioner (Rupert Davies) and his associate (Roy Chiao) work the case. The "five golden dragons" of the title are criminal masterminds who are due to meet each other in person for the first time.

This is a moderately fun, rather lightweight mystery. It's not a great one by any stretch of the imagination, but it sometimes delivers some entertainment. It lessens its impact by going on too long, and losing some momentum, and it really does get too positively goofy for its own good. (The falling death of a henchman is played for laughs, for one thing.) What helps matters a fair bit is the exotic setting. The movie is shot in Techniscope and Technicolor and looks absolutely gorgeous. And now that the word "gorgeous" has been brought up, it must be said that the female cast looks ravishing: Margaret Lee as the devilish singer Magda, and Maria Rohm & Maria Perschy as a pair of sisters. The songs & score are catchy.

The international cast of superstars gives it curiosity value. Cummings supplies both heroics and comedy relief, and he's likable enough. Davies and Chiao (the two of them utter quotes from Shakespeare appropriate to various situations) are excellent. Klaus Kinski is a hoot as always as the nefarious Gert, but fans might bemoan not seeing him get to do more. Giving the film a shot in the arm late in the game are the special guest star appearances by Dan Duryea, George Raft, Brian Donlevy, and Sir Christopher Lee, who play four of the five golden dragons. Still, one may rightly think that to see them so briefly is a waste of talent. Japanese pop star Yukari Ito makes a musical appearance.

Enjoyable, to a degree, but also largely forgettable. One highlight, or low point, depending on your point of view, is seeing a supposedly dead body blink several times.

Six out of 10.