The Fastest Guitar Alive

Roy Orbison and Sammy Jackson are both spies for the Confederacy who are planning on robbing a gold shipment. They pose as patent medicine salesmen and Roy also doubles as a dance hall singer.

This was the film that single-handedly killed Roy Orbison's acting career. It's hard to believe now, but in the 60s he was a VERY hot commodity and the Beatles were at one time HIS opening act! This movie was an attempt to make him like the new Elvis in movies, though his ability to play a romantic lead or show any emotion was nil. Perhaps given time he might have been a decent actor, but here he just isn't given much to work with and he just seems like a fish out of water.

So what's wrong with the film? Much of the problem were the songs. While most of Roy's songs were actually very enjoyable (despite having the sound of an electric guitar and orchestra in the Old West), a few of the song in the film were just awful. The "Goodtime Party" song was just awful and the music and clapping were way out of sync. In addition, there was a song by the dance hall girls without Roy near the beginning of the film that had me pondering suicide--it was THAT bad and the lyrics were wretched. The title alone of the song pretty much says it all--"Snuggle Huggle" and it was the only song in the film Roy didn't write or co-write.

As for the writing, it was generally fair to poor except when it came to the "kooky Indians". These supposed Indians were terribly unfunny and were less believable as Indians than when Mel Brooks played one in BLAZING SADDLES (and his was intended to be bad).

Overall, this is a very limp film only of interest to bad film freaks and the curious.

I LOVE Roy Orbison! I saw him perform live on four different occasions and I own tons of his records, tapes, CD's and this movie. He was not handsome enough to become a matinée idol like Elvis, but he was the GREATEST singer ever, even Elvis said so! This movie is a light hearted comedy with singing. A few of the songs are not so great by Roy's standards, but most are good and a few are really good e.g. "Pistolero" and "Roll On Mighty River". I especially love the the title song, "The Fastest Guitar Alive". The plot of the movie is not that bad. Has anybody besides me noticed the similarity between this movie and the Errol Flynn/Randolph Scott western "Virginia City"? I love that movie and those two actors too. Roy's movie was not looking for critical acclaim. It was just a good "B" flick, certainly better than a thousand other grade "B" westerns out there. It had some very funny scenes and it was good clean fun. You could watch it with your children and not have to worry about sex and violence. Roy might have become a better actor if he had made a few more movies, but since this is his only movie and if you are a true Roy Orbison fan, treasure it!

I only watched because Roy is in it. Bless his heart, but he tried. Cheesy funny, I even changed my rating from a 3 to a 4 just because the bad jokes tickled me

Yes, the movie "The Fastest Guitar Alive" was terrible and Roy Orbison was not an actor. But just like anything else, you must practice to be good at whatever you choose to do. Elvis at first, was not good, but he got better, but then the roles got worse.Roy should have studied first before going before the camera.Granted, he would not have been a matinée idol, but who knows what could have happened if he would have continued with acting.Most big name actors started out in bad movies and acted badly, but as time went on, they learned their craft and some went on to win Oscars.One of the first roles that Clint Eastwood had was a lab assistant in "The Revenge Of The Creature", and you know what happened in his career.One of the biggest problems with "The Fastest Guitar Alive" is that it should not have been trying to be a musical.It just didn't work and the movie seemed to have too many things going on. But don't blame the actors for a bad script, they just made the mistake of being in the movie.And don't be too hard on Roy. He was new to movie making and didn't have anyone to guide him. He gave it a shot and we have to give him credit for that.

Singing guitar-slinger Roy Orbison (as Johnny Banner) and hunky sidekick Sammy Jackson (as Steve Menlo) battle more Indians than Union soldiers as they work "undercover" for President Jefferson Davis and the Confederacy. When the Civil War ends, a booty of gold they stole from the USA for the CSA makes Mr. Orbison and his pal WANTED men. They are also desired, but for kissing instead of killing, by pretty sisters Maggie Pierce and Joan Freeman (as Flo and Sue Chestnut).

Producer Sam Katzman, who did "Kissin' Cousins" (1964) and "Harum Scarum" (1965) with Elvis, probably wanted Presley for this picture. After Colonel Parker declined, it might have been offered to Ricky Nelson. Father Ozzie would never agree to a film without complete production control, so that wouldn't have gone anywhere. So, what about Roy Orbison? He had the same sort of record success, and was owed a shot at movie stardom as part of his manager's deal with MGM's record subsidiary.

Orbison received millions from the package, which moved him from Monument to MGM records. The deal turned out to be a disaster, which is reflected in this film. Even the hit records stopped. The best "The Fastest Guitar Alive" song showing was "Pistolero" appearing on the B-side of a minor "Top 100" hit - which turned out to be the last Orbison appearance on the record charts until the 1980s. To make matters worse, Orbison had to deal with some personal tragedies. Roy was better than this.

** The Fastest Guitar Alive (9/1/67) Michael D. Moore ~ Roy Orbison, Sammy Jackson, Joan Freeman, Maggie Pierce