Catalina Caper

By now, everyone should know that the beach movies in the mid '60s were at the bottom of the cinematic barrel. Little more than excuses to have a bunch of sexually inactive teenagers party, they make you gag time and again.

Which brings us to "Catalina Caper". It is actually possible to like this movie. All that you have to do is rent it and go straight to the Little Richard scene. If you watch only that scene, then the movie is rather admirable. But if you watch any other scenes, then you see that the movie is pure flotsam. A jumbled story of muscle men and big-breasted women foiling a Greek millionaire's heist, "Catalina Caper" will make you roll your eyes. But let's face it: Tommy Kirk never starred in any good movies.

If you really want to watch this flick, then watch the "MST3K" episode where they mock it. Joel and the 'bots have a marvelous time with this one. Servo even sings a song about the woman whom he calls "Creepy Girl". I believe that it was Crow who made a joke pertaining to the Greek guy's name.

I could not imagine watching this without Joel and the bots.

Tommy Kirk acts like he'd prefer to be anywhere else. A cameo by Little Richard does nothing for his career. The music is awful, the dialogue terrible, and the plot (something about a stolen painting and a lot of young girls in bikinis) was incoherent. A real stinker.

Even by 60's beach party movie standards, this is really cheesy. Actually, awful is a more accurate term. I guess this was intended to be a fun beach party movie but somewhere along the line, it turned out to be a physically and psychologically draining experience. Bad acting all around. Lots of awful music, including a little number in which Little Richard humiliates himself. And a lot of *ahem* comedy that falls flat on its face (quite literally in the case of the obnoxious pratfall guy who serves as the would-be comic relief). And to top it all off, thrown into this mess, making the movie even more convulted than it already was, is a subplot involving an ancient scroll stolen by a bunch of bungling jewel thieves.

This movie was turned into a classic episode of the dearly departed MST3K, so I can't really say this movie turned out to be a complete waste of film. But if you dare watch this soul-sucking movie without the company of Joel Hodgson and his robot pals, you might end up with the urge to jump out the nearest window to put yourself out of your misery.

For starters, I usually don't watch Tommy Kirk movies. Most of us who have seen this piece of celluloid dung saw it on MST3K. When Volume 1 came out and included the films without the running commentary, I decided to see how bad some of these things actually are. My God what a fool I was.

The "plot" here is that some thieves decided to pull a bait and switch using a stolen scroll on some rich guy. The scroll gets lost due to incompetence while they're showing the goods to the rich guy's lackey. This could be a poor plot (not good, but would suffice to make a B movie) except for the fact that they decided to throw in a bunch of kids who get mixed up in the whole thing. Between the lousy music (Little Richard did OK, but the others were terrible), dancing, scuba footage, and attempts to develop love interests there should be something holding this together besides bad jokes and a loose caper "plot." On top of all of this, the "talent" seemed to not really care what was going on, so the results are predictably crappy.

For God's sake, don't watch without MST3K.

Catalina Caper is relatively painful. The plot, if you can call it that, involves a group of kids hanging around the beach for some summer fun. A piece of artwork (aka "the scroll") is stolen by this guy who looks like Drew Carey for his boss Duval, who talks like Al Capone. He tries to keep said scroll from this other crime boss Lakapolous. The kids get involved in the case, so that's where all the exciting action takes place. Don Pringle is the main hero of the story. He spends most of his time chasing after this weird dark haired girl. Oh and then there's this other guy in a suit running around trying to expose Duval and he gets into all these slapstick situations that are really, really dumb.

In between the little tidbits of story, you get little music breaks. This includes an appearance by Little Richard! You also get to see some...guys sitting around singing and then this other chick singing a song called "Book of Love". Yeah...not much else to say about that. Not only to you get to hear their great songs, you get to watch all the kids dance too! The way they move looks really painful at times. Makes you just want to jump right into the movie and dislocate a hip with them! They danced like fools in the 60's. Mindless zombie beach goers.

This movie is best viewed in the MST3K version, lots of great jokes there. Joel & the 'bots do a beautiful job of tearing this one apart. See it for a lot of good laughs. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a rockin' scuba party to get to. I feel a dance number comin' on!