Battle Beneath the Earth

"Battle Beneath the Earth" is an enjoyable film. But just because I enjoyed watching it does not mean that it's a particularly good nor intelligently made movie! After all, the plot is utterly ridiculous and the 'Chinese' in the film look about as Chinese as Steven Seagal or Bela Lugosi!

The story begins with a seemingly insane man ranting and raving in Las Vegas about sounds he's hearing beneath the pavement. Eventually, however, they realize that the man should be released from the asylum because there IS something going on under the ground....and it's a Dr. No-like Chinese general who is bent on world domination! Can he be stopped?

As I mentioned above, the Chinese in the film are certainly NOT Chinese but are Brits with Bela Lugosi hairdos and bits of prosthetic material around their eyes to make them look Asian! While the Americans are all played by Brits isn't that badly done, the Chinese in the film were embarrassingly bad. Plus the notion of Chinese folks tunneling from China throughout America....utterly silly and impossible. But despite all this, the film is fun and enjoyable...provided you first turn off your brain!

This movie is actually fairly entertaining, but mostly because spotting the continuity errors and absence of logic is so much fun. The concept is interesting, but the script is stunningly dumb. I think it is worth one viewing by fans of C-grade sci-fi, but unless you can turn the film into a drinking game - and you could - that is enough.

So many opportunities to laugh at this film. Where does one begin? European actors in "yellowface" playing the bad guy renegade Chinese army. (Let's see here -- the bad guy in his lair always has an eccentric pet with him -- okay the guy has a parrot! Check that off the list!)

A film obviously made in Britain pretending to be a Hollywood film, which takes place in Las Vegas (unconvincing cardboard set inside a sound stage, plus some actual second unit stock footage), San Diego (England), Oregon (England again) and Hawaii (more stock footage, plus various underground tunnels (more paper mache sets in a sound stage).

Comically fake nuclear bombs. Laser guns mounted on bulldozers. Giant spinning tape reel computer banks...no wait, those were real at that time.

Bad directing, jump cuts, dropped frames, one establishing shot where the camera drops off the tripod. Awkward staging. Hokey dialog. The whole plot totally ridiculous. Well, it is like a live action comic book. So why should I take any bit of it seriously? Well, the characters seem to be dead serious about the whole enterprise. (That's good. True camp does not work if you give a "nod and a wink" to the audience...though that one scene with the slot machines in the mental hospital was perhaps a bit over the line...)

Yes, fans of The Batman or Green Hornet TV shows of this time period will be right at home here. Plenty of bright primary colors, swish pan transitions, and blaring cool-daddyo-jazz soundtrack. It's all here for the fan of 1960's camp and Cold War pop culture kitsch to treasure as an endemic artifact of its time, the likes of which we may never see again.

Thank goodness.

Claustrophobic, by Nature, Story of a "Chinese" Communist Invasion on America's Homeland by Tunneling.

Driving, Supposedly, Futuristic Sci-Fi Boring Vehicles.

That are Shown as Nothing More than Toy-Trucks Painted in Loud Colors with some "Teeth-Like" Appendages.

Moving at a Whopping 8 MPH and Encountering USA Resistance Once in a While to Slow Them as the Home of the Brave Manage to Invent a Rival, Unimpressive Looking (for Movie Buffs) Toy of Their Own.

The Film Starts with some Levity as a "Crackpot" Scientist with Ear to the Ground on a City Sidewalk Says...

"Listen, they're down there like ants, coming to exterminate us."

Turns Out the "Mad Scientist", who was "Locked-Up" in the "Loony-Bin", is the Only One Who can Invent such a Toy.

Unintentionally Funny Lines Pop-Up like...While Exploring with a Fellow, but Female Researcher, B-Movie Swashbuckler Kerwin Matthews, Stops Mid-Stride to ask...

"So how long have you been researching tunnels?".

Another Guffaw is, During the High-Tension Invasion, Discovering the Enemy, a Military-Man Gets on the Phone and Shouts...

"This is a PRIORITY, DOUBLE-SCRAMBLE THE SIGNAL."

Some Colorful Images as Wall-Paper and an Over-the-Top Comic-Book-James-Bond Megalomaniac, Can't Save the Boredom.

Forgotten Vietnam Conflict Propaganda Picture is Not Worth Remembering.

A classic. Utterly dismal. This film must have been made with the change left over from the first Blair Witch project. The rock wall tunnels practically wobble, truck headlights pretending to be rock boring lasers. Englishmen pretending to be Chinese with silly slant eyes - you know the style seen in every lame 60 or 70's movies - how hard is it to hire real Chinese as actors? If the effects stink they are fragrant compared to the plot. At one point to detect the Chinese tunnels the military orders the US to go silent for Gods sake; like it was a submarine on silent running! The whole things is so bad as to be camply hilarious.