Deux Minets pour Juliette

"Not With My Wife, You Don't" is the sort of film that probably played much better back in the day. Today, it just seems tiresome and boorish.

The film finds Tony Curtis in the Air Force. He's apparently very good at protocol and is a bit of a star within the service. But because he's so efficient, he pays very little attention to his lovely wife (Virna Lisi). Then, in a lengthy flashback, you see how he and an Air Force buddy (George C. Scott) fought over her during the Korean War. And, eventually, Curtis' character tricks his friend out of the girl and marries her. Now, his old buddy is returning for a visit and Curtis is worried the guy will make the moves on his wife.

Seeing two rutting pigs chasing after a lady--lying, cheating and being disingenuous jerks all the while--is NOT my idea of a fun film. It's downright tedious. I didn't care about the characters....and I just felt very bored by the whole thing. A huge misfire.

Two buddies from the Korean War vie for the affections of a military nurse; one of them eventually marries her, but that doesn't stop the other man from trying to grab her one last time. Colorful opening sequence gives way to galumphing, desperate antics. Tony Curtis is more attuned to the script and the handling than is George C. Scott (who is lost at sea); Virna Lisi tops them both with a sensuously silly performance. She's really the only reason to watch, as the laughs are spread far and wide. Comedy veterans Melvin Frank and Norman Panama originated the story, though Frank's work was apparently squeezed out of the final draft (the screenplay is credited to Panama, Larry Gelbart, and Peter Barnes). Either way, it's disastrous. * from ****

Air Force colonel Tom Ferris (Tony Curtis) is busy climbing the military ladder to the frustration of his wife Julie. Their marriage is in trouble. 14 years earlier during the Korean War, American flyboy buddies Tom Ferris and Tank Martin (George C. Scott) both fall for Italian nurse Julie. The two friends are willing to lie, cheat, and steal to get the girl.

I'm surprised with George C. Scott doing a light screwball comedy. There is a bit joy in the shock. This is perfectly harmless. The love triangle is actually compelling mostly due to the two leads. The girl is easy on the eyes. The quiet fight is probably the most fun. Otherwise, this is a minor comedy with minor laughs.

Although Tony Curtis in his memoirs compared Not With My Wife You Don't to a Crosby/Hope Road picture in point of fact this film for me came off more like one of those post sound Flagg and Quirt movies. Certainly the military aspect of this film lent itself better to the Captain Flagg Sergeant Quirt hijinks. And neither Curtis or Scott warbled a note.

When we meet the guys they're in Korea, a pair of Air Force fliers who are rivals for everything including Italian nurse Virna Lisi. Curtis wins her by foul means though when Scott is shot down on a mission. He's all right, but he's shipped to hospital in Manila. Curtis intercepts the telegram saying so and tells Lisi he died. So she marries him, possibly on the rebound.

14 years go by and Curtis is now a Lieutenant-Colonel stationed in Europe and Scott gets stationed there. Of course he has to fake surprise that his old buddy is alive and actually has a higher rank. When Scott learns of the deception the old games resume with a vengeance.

In his memoirs Curtis says that Scott was an actor of great intensity who really could over power other players. He had to really be on his toes to make sure he didn't steal the whole film. I suspect there was a little bit of professional jealousy in his words. Now that Curtis, Scott, and Lisi are all gone they can argue it out in the next world.

Fans of the three stars should like it. But whatever it is Not With My Wife You Don't is far from a male buddy picture.

Virna Lisi plays "Julietta", the femme fatale here, who is chased after by soldiers Tank Martin (George Scott) and Tom Ferris, (Tony Curtis). Scott and Curtis had appeared together in "The List of Adrian Messenger" back in 1963. Carroll O'Connor (Oh Archie!) in supporting role, as the big shot General. The "other" big Hollywood role for which V. Lisi is known is "How to Murder your Wife", a similar farce, with Jack Lemmon, in 1965. Julietta flirts with both men, as they get sent to various places around the world, even after she gets married. You need to have a lot of patience for the many physical and sight gags here, much like a slow moving "Pink Panther" movie. Another little weird connection here - Note actor Robert Cleaves, the reporter Chandler McVey, from Time Magazine -- he will appear with Carroll O'Connor in "Archie Bunker's Place" in the late 1970s; Cleaves has quite the interesting bio on IMDb for those interested. Directed by Norman Panama, who had directed Bob Hope in "Road to Hong Kong", "That Certain Feeling" and "How to Commit Marriage". That may explain why we see footage of Bob Hope in this film.... "Not with my Wife" is okay... nothing earth shattering, just one of the romps from the free-loving 1960s, after being stifled so long under the film production code.