Ramdam à Rio

In the 1960s, the James Bond movies were so successful that it led to MANY knock-off movies. Some of them were pretty serious (such as the Jerry Cotton movies starring George Nader) and some were utterly ridiculous and didn't try to be serious spy movies (such as the Matt Helm movies). I'd say "Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die" is somewhat in the middle...in some ways a serious Bond-like film as well as a parody at the same time.

The plot of "Kiss the Girls" is actually pretty similar to "Moonraker"...an official Bond movie which seems like a parody of itself due to all the gadgets and the silly sci-fi plot. And, like "Moonraker", the baddie hopes to wipe out the human race so he and his bevvy of sexy ladies in suspended animation can repopulate the planet!

Out to stop him in Ageny Kelly of the CIA (Mike Connors), a banana-chomping secret agent who is tough but not nearly as competent as Bond. To make up for his deficiencies, a female British agent (Dorothy Provine) helps along with a HUGE number of gadgets that she and her chauffeur (Terry-Thomas) have at their disposal.

So is this any good? Well, it's not dull. But it also isn't very good either. Connors is fine in the lead though later in the story he seems to have very little to do. Provine is terrible, as she seems about as British as a taco! Plus all the gadgets get to be pretty silly after a while. Overall, a curiosity more than a good movie...but one that isn't dull at all.

All four main actors, which I've seen in many other movies, they have surpassed my expectations here in a good way. I'm talking about Mike Connors, Dorothy Provine, Raf Vallone and Terry-Thomas. They are all very good, due to the script and Henry Levin's good direction (together with Arduino Maiuri, who has directed only another film except this one). It's a delicious comedy, parodying spy movies, that is, the James Bond genre. And, not accidentally, in a Bond called "Moonraker," they were inspired by this movie, so well is done (this one, because, "Moonraker", just between me and you, it's probably the worst Bond). The beauties called Margaret Lee, Nicoletta Machiavelli, Marilu Tolo, they appear just a little bit, almost not at all. Instead, Dorothy Provine appears in full and she is delicious. Funny character Hans Thorner as Krüger. Very smart film, entertaining, a real beautiful surprise!

MASTER PLAN: infertilize the USA's population by eliminating the sexual drive (cripes!) via a launched satellite. This begins as an obvious spoof, showing some scientist getting shot in the jungles while exploring a local tribe's infertility problem, with satirical narration (by actor Michael Hordern, maybe?). It's a very goofy start. But, the action switches to Rio de Janeiro, a nice bit on Corcovado, in and around the famed statue, as an agent played by lead Mike Connors fights off a villain. This sets the tone for the rest of the film, a more sophisticated parody of the James Bond thriller than I first thought, in the vein of "Our Man Flint." There's the typical stuff: use of scorpions & piranha, the odd henchman and the main villain (Vallone) who has sinister grand plans for the world. Provine shows up as a femme fatale with a severely British accent. Terry-Thomas then pops up as an effeminate chauffeur who can handle himself very well in a fight.

The exotic locations in Brazil are pretty good; as mentioned in other comments, some of this, including some plot points, seems to have been copied by an actual later Bond film, "Moonraker," though one could argue this happened because this copies earlier Bond films such as "Thunderball" and "Dr.No." The story has some slow parts in the first half, meandering as the hero follows villains and vice-versa. This is reflected in the film's music score, which has a lazy, easy style to it, even during action sequences. As the hero, Connors also ambles his way through, usually laconic or sarcastic, depending on the scene, but projecting toughness. This was just before he began his 8-year run as tough TV private eye "Mannix." To give you an idea of the humor, there's a recurring theme of the hero's fondness for bananas. Things pick up in the latter half when the action shifts to the sci-fi stronghold of the villain. I've heard that this film is a favorite of Quentin Tarantino's. Hero:6 Villains:6 Femme Fatales:6 Henchmen:6 Fights:7 Stunts/Chases:6 Gadgets:6 Auto:4 Locations:7 Pace:6 overall:6

Kiss the Girls and Make them Die has a great title, and since it was shot in 1966, great chic value at this point. Plus it was a studio movie with enough budget to be shot with top shelf cinematography, film stock, and sets (including locations in Brazil), but the actors don't really carry it over the top. Mike Connors is recognizable and active, but his lines aren't the best. It's not edgy or intense enough to shadow James Bond, and not camp enough to be Matt Helm. It's quite a blah in between. ANother problem is there are a LOT ofstylistic and plot 'borrowings' from the specific Bond movie You Only Live Twice, and this undermines it being a parody. Then there are moments when the film inexplicably fails to capitalize on both small and big moments, and just kind of lets them drift away, which is frustrating because at other times you're marvelling at the frame and sets.

Most of the female actresses are forgettable, particularly the one who develops into the lead. The arch villain is threatening, but also not maximized, and his henchman is particularly uninteresting, and unconvincing as a bad guy. THe film switches up between serious and campy, and it's just not written clever enough to pull it off.

That said, the movie is visually gorgeous, with shots of a Rio De Janiero in the late 1960s, with one fantastic interior after another, a mix of Brazilian culture with mid-century modern. You want to see a Rolls Royce driving a jungle road? You'll see it here. It's too bad the leads weren't more engaging, or given more character in the script to work with.

Mercifully not nearly as offensive as that title suggests (which the makers were actually proud enough of to base a title song on) although the threatening names as producer and director of Dino De Laurentis and Henry Levin serve as ample warning that the results will be predictably banal; the biggest surprise in the credits being the name of the distinguished TV writer Jack Pulman.

Chuck Connors is personable enough foiling a particularly daft scheme by Raf Vallone to rule the world, but what makes the film is a lively Dorothy Provine as an English agent with a cut-glass accent and her very own Parker in the form of Terry-Thomas.