Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter

Veteran filmmaker William Beaudine, with 256 movies under his belt, directed this dreary, low-budget, drive-in oater without much flair. Beaudine and scenarist Carl Hittleman go to absurd lengths to give the preposterous plot (what if Jesse James tangled with Frankenstein's daughter) a plausible set-up. Our notorious heroine and her elderly assistant have fled Germany to conduct their abominable experiments in the relative isolation of the old Southwest in a converted monastery. Film theorists will have a field day with the metaphorical implications of Frankenstein renovating a Catholic monastery. Maria Frankenstein longs to follow in her dastardly daddy's footsteps, but the Mexican peasants nearby don't make good guinea pigs. They have a nasty habit of dying on her. Interestingly enough, Frankenstein's daughter relocated to the American West to take advantage of the frequency of lightning. Anybody who has heard the commentary track on the Kurt Russell movie "Tombstone" may recall the director commenting on the abundance of lightning on their movie set in Arizona, so "Jesse James" contains a modicum of plausibility. The infamous outlaw is trying to lay low when he hooks up with Butch Curry and the Wild Bunch. (Obviously, Butch Curry is Butch Cassidy, but the producers must have felt that one real-life outlaw was sufficient.)Anyway, Butch's greedy brother Lonny alerts Marshall MacPhee about Jesse's whereabouts. During an abortive stagecoach robbery, Jesse's partner Hank catches a slug in the shoulder, and Jesse takes him to the House of Frankenstein to get patched up. Naturally, evil Maria takes them in, because muscle-bound Hank qualifies as the perfect specimen for her blasphemous experiments. See what I mean about the bedrock of plausiblity? This horror horse opera appears to have been shot on a shoe-string budget, since Beaudine stages the action largely in master shots. A mustached John Lupton makes a bland Jesse James. Other than an accurate alias, Jesse's character has been white-washed beyond recognition, and he utters lines about himself that only a censor would pen to dissuade anybody from following in his footsteps. After Hank's transformation to Igor, the camp factor in the action picks up, but there is simply not enough camp to keep this western fired up. Not as hilariously awful as you might imagine, but nevertheless this hybrid-genre hokum is tame, without fireworks. Maria dons a multi-colored G.I. helmet during the transformation sequences, and her laboratory pales in comparison with even a Hammer entry. At one point in the film, she refers to herself as Frankenstein's granddaughter. The producers really should have made up their minds. If there is anything truly execrable about this superficial, saddle-sore sagebrusher, scrutinize the long shots of Frankenstein's monastery: it's an obvious matte painting! Maria Frankenstein is a hoot as a character. In a lackluster cast, veteran character actor Jim Davis of "Dallas" fame stands out as a stalwart lawman, while long-time heavy Rayford Barnes provides the most excitement as he tries to collect the reward on Jesse's head. Worthwhile only as a curiosity piece, "Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter" (* out of ****)lacks the audacity of "Lady Frankenstein." The year after Beaudine made this nonsense, he helmed "Billy the Kid Versus Dracula."

This is one of those movies that "Mystery Science Theatre" was made for (I don't know if MST3K ever did one on this). All of the fun is asking questions that nobody who made the movie ever did. Why is there only one bed in the Mexican household? Who gets to sleep in it? Do they take turns? Why is Lady Frankenstein's brother so much older than she is? Juanita leaves her parents in the wilderness and doesn't she ever worry about them? When Jesse goes to the pharmacist to get some medicine, the pharmacist goes in the back room and exits out a back door to get the sheriff. When he gets back, he starts preparing the medicine. What was his justification for going into the back room?

(Perhaps I overthink things. . .)

This is a movie to goof on and in that respect it triumphs tremendously.

With a title like this, the audience is being "put on" before the first frame of the film is seen. And, if you don't like being the brunt of the joke, you ain't gonna have anything good to say about this flick - not that there's anything good to say if it were called Gone With The Wind. But - come on - Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter...what do you expect? We DESERVE a dud if we watch it. Stetson's off to whoever came up with the combination, let alone had the gumption to try to depict the two on the same celluloid - like Billy the Kid and Dracula, which proves that, if you don't get it right the first time, you probably won't get it right the SECOND time, either. If you're like me, you'll take in this movie just to find out HOW the two get together and HOW a monster fits in there. All of the other elements are immaterial, which is important, 'cause they all contribute laughably to this effort. If that's your intention with your dime and your time - and you're easily amused - you MAY be able to tolerate this epic.

Of course you can't expect too much from something that proudly presents itself as a low-budgeted hybrid of two entirely different classic film genres and their main icons. Director William Beaudine was clearly exploring the possibilities of exploitation cinema and considered it a great idea to shoot two films back-to-back (the other one being "Billy the Kid Vs. Dracula") that blend legendary horror premises with gunslinger heroes of the Wild Wild West. The result is neither fish nor flesh, but I must admit I expected this film to be a whole lot worse. "Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter" is a bunch of silly nonsense, but it's fairly well made and the acting performances are far superior than you usually see in this type of productions. The title is wrong, for starters, since it isn't really Frankenstein's daughter Jesse James encounters, but his granddaughter. She – Maria - emigrated towards the States, along with her cowardly brother, to continue her experiments of resurrecting lifeless human tissue. Their unsuccessful tests already wiped out an entire community of poor farmers that lived around their castle and only the adorable Juanita and her family are left. Meanwhile, the wanted outlaw Jesse James and his strong but simple-minded sidekick Hank escape from an ambush and seek refuge in Lady Frankenstein's castle. She sees in the severely wounded Hank the ideal guinea pig for her demented experiments, while Jesse falls in love with the poor farmer's daughter and battles some bounty hunters. There are absolutely no horrific sequences in the script – Frankenstein's victims are resurrected by placing colorful motorcycle helmets on their heads – and the western aspects aren't exactly spectacular neither. All of a sudden, Jesse James is a noble outlaw who steals from the rich to give to the poor (give me a break!) and risks his own freedom to go out and buy medication for his dying partner. Right! Narda Onyx is a joy to observe as the mad scientist who clearly has no idea what she's doing and the Cuban born actress Rodriguez is sweet in her role of Jesse James' love interest. She died prematurely in the same year as the film's release.

This is great. The overbearing bitch daughter of Frankenstein wants a strong man for her hideous experiments in human subjugation. Perfectly understandable. Enter Jesse James and his stupid bodybuilding sidekick and you have the perfect setup. There's no need to wonder what Madame Frankenstein would have actually done with the bulging baldy she creates if she was given half a chance. Amazingly, this one gets dead serious after the title card; all part of it's charm. Joe Bob Briggs hosts the DVD presentation, appropriately and appreciatively.