Don't Just Lie There, Say Something!

This is bad even for a Brian Rix farce. I bought a boxed set of Leslie Phillips DVDs for £10 in a sale and this one was in it along with 'The VIP' and 'Doctor in Trouble' (both with James Robertson Justice). I can't think why. Phillips did so many much better films and I can't see why anyone thought it worth the effort to transfer this one onto disc. The cast contains some of the great stalwarts of the British film industry such as Joan Sims, Derek Griffiths, Joanna Lumley, Peter Cellier and the Goodies' favourite newsreader Corbet Woodall but even they can't bring it up to standard. Even the worst Carry Ons were ten times better than this garbage. An absolute stinker.

To use the words forced, stagey, inane and desperate to describe this film would be a severe understatement. The majority of this film seems to consist of characters hiding under beds or in closets, running around in their underwear or less or putting on "funny" accents to get themselves out of compromising positions (and I use the term loosely).

The characters in this film are incredibly dumb but there's a method behind this. They have to be dumb otherwise if they acted like sensible human beings all the plot strands would be tied up in about 20 minutes.

This is the sort of film they don't make anymore and with good reason.

Nobody really makes this type of film anymore, and the film world is a lot poorer for it in my opinion. Certainly we could do worse as a nation to make more comedy like this than to made endless "Lock, Stock..." gangster clones. Basically, it's a film version of a typical stage farce, with everything you'd expect bar the local vicar. I'll admit it's not everyone's cup of tea but suspend your disbelief.

It does sag in places (!) as the lie-upon-lie builds up, but what many people don't seem to notice is the slick interplay between the leads, the funny dialogue, and Leslie Phillips in full "well he-llo" mode. There is also the advantage of a great supporting cast, of whom Joan Sims typically shines in a thankless "nagging wife" role. Her advice to someone getting married "pray... watch..." is delivered superbly.

It's the type of thing that would never trouble an Oscar jury, but if some of the recent winners are anything to go by (hello Monsters Ball, Cold Mountain....), this can only be in its favour.

Basically, this is a fun film that you can see time and time again. You can't say that for a lot of films. Thrillers get less thrilling when you know whodunnit, for example.

Leslie Phillips starred in a few bedroom farces in the early to mid-1970s. These were DOCTOR IN TROUBLE, NOT NOW DARLING, Spanish FLY, NOT NOW COMRADE and this film. DON'T JUST LIE THERE, SAY SOMETHING is undoubtedly one of the best of these films.

The plot is as follows - a government minister intends to tighten up the laws on censorship, leading to a group of hippies kidnapping his underdog. From this simple premise the film descends into the usual farce with clothes coming off, mistaken identities, characters making up stories as they try to explain away their various antics and so on.

The first thing to note is that the film doesn't look like a filmed stage play in the same way as NOT NOW DARLING did. It makes use of more than one location and some outdoor scenes too (although not too many).

Leslie Phillips is on top form in this film and his caddish on screen persona is ideally suited to the part he plays. Likewise, Brian Rix is probably at his best in this film. I remember recently seeing the film version of another Rix farce, DRY ROT, and noting that it was a far less energetic production than this one. Rix has a ball of a time getting into all manner of mishaps, as well as trying to fool a police inspector with a phony Australian accent. It's all great to see and the film moves along at a very fast pace like NOT NOW DARLING did.

Joanna Lumley has always been better in serious works rather than comedy. That's my opinion anyway. I'll always think of her as being at her best as Sapphire in the SAPPHIRE AND STEEL series. But she is good as Miss Parkyn, Phillips' secretary and shares many great scenes with Phillips.

Derek Royle has fun playing an MP of the opposition party, hoping to find evidence of Phillips' sexual exploits in order to try embarrassing (and possibly bring down) the government.

Peter Bland is excellent as Inspector Ruff, a character who reprises his role in another, lesser-known Rix farce called A BIT BETWEEN THE TEETH (sadly no film version of that one was made).

Joan Sims is somewhat wasted as Phillips' wife, but it's great to see her here nonetheless.

The rest of the cast are great too, especially Katy Manning.

As was the case with NOT NOW DARLING, the film is better than the stage version. The faster pace and the perfect casting ensure this.

Overall, DON'T JUST LIE THERE, SAY SOMETHING is one of the best British farces - a fast-paced masterpiece and one of my all-time favourite comedies. For fans of the CARRY ON films, Benny Hill, Ray Cooney farces (or Brian Rix ones of course), this is a must see.

What a dire soul-destroying chore it was sitting through this archaic piece of 'entertainment' from that bleak era when the Confessions films and 'On the Buses' were considered the height of British comedy. The only reason I watched this was because that incorrigible cad Leslie Philips was in the cast and – so I thought – he's always worth a viewing. Sadly, even he can't salvage anything from this mess. A number of people run around a politician's flat (or 'love nest' as The Sun would have it) in various states of undress, frantically trying to avoid one another or engage in extramarital or mercenary sex. It's incredible to believe that a generation just once removed from my own used to find this rubbish funny. Avoid at all costs.